Review of Fem Fantasy - Sex~Kitten.net

Instructions:
Pour Frangelico into a snifter glass, add honey, lemon peel & cloves. Fill remainder of snifter with hot water.

Sure, the tour is slick & sexy, & you think soon your panties will be slick too. But it’s too slick to be true.

I’ll admit, I gave this site a very brief review. I signed up for the free 30 minute trial membership. And that’s about all I stayed for. But after you read this, you tell me if you would stay?

To my surprise, I had not really joined a site called Fem Fantasy, what I actually joined was Purve.com. Gone was the midnight blue & the chiseled men. In their place, white with mod purple & plum graphics. And a ‘Welcome to Purve.com’ message. It may not seem like much of a breach in trust to you, but in the bad-rap-world-of-adult-pay-sites, why make the new member’s arrival one of ‘huh?!’ But still, Gracie the fearless moves on...

At the very bottom of the members area screen, the left-hand side, there were some graphics that looked familiar ~ the ‘old Fem Fantasy’ graphics. So I clicked on an sexy photo of a well-chiseled male model. A bio, some tidbits, and a few galleries of nice photography. I’ll admit it. They guy was good looking in the classic male model sense. The photos were beautiful ~ nice quality, more artistic than amateur shots. Well done. But aware of my ticking clock, I now head back to the main members page. (Easy to do with that annoying top & bottom frames set up they are using ~ Easy, but distracting.)

So Gracie pops on over to the erotic story section. Boasting original stories, true life stories, stories by members, how would Gracie choose? I ended up in a GurlGasm. I didn’t know what is was either ~ but apparently a GurlGasm “is your bedtime story magazine with a mix of exclusive erotic fiction.”

I read a story about Nina. A pretty young thing who has “been stripping to pay my way through college for just over a year.” She has a rule not to do ‘extras.’ “No sex, no matter how much they offer me. And I have always stuck to that rule, except for one night, 3 months ago...” Yeah, you guessed it, she fucks at a show. But see there were two of them, & she told them the gig was on her, so technically, she didn’t break her rule. OK, so it’s a bit trite for it’s just under 1000 words. But it was cute. Not orgasmic, not even a gurgling-gurl-gasm or whatever they wanted me to call it. But it was ok. Perhaps there were great stories if I had stayed longer, but I was on the clock, remember?

So I went back to the members area. There I spied an unusual & attractive offering: Audio Erotica. The snippet of text that describes the area goes like this: “From Oceania, the sexiest voice on the net ... a collection of 200+ stories, with featured audio!!” (Wow, two exclamation points, it must be good *wink*)

I clicked the link, and as I did I wondered about that wording “a collection of 200+ stories, with featured audio.” Did that mean that there were over 200 audio stories, or 200 stories with some audio ‘sound bites,’ or what the hell did it mean? Maybe I was over thinking it a bit because I expected to join Fem Fantasy & got Purve. I don’t know. But I had plenty of time to think about it...

My this link was taking a long time...

Oh, you know why it was? Because it had a damn pop up ad ~ Yes, a pop up ad in a paid members site! Oh, that is low class. You *don’t* solicit for some personals site with a pop up advertisement to your members who have already paid to be, as Purve itself states, VIP Members.

What’s worse (oh yes, there’s more to snort about), when you get to Sin Empire, their audio page or site, & you’ve survived the assault of the unwelcome advertising ~ that’s all you get! Popups & a black screen with Sin Empire & a ‘click here to enjoy the gallery.’ OK, and you get the cheerfully mod frames. But what you don’t get is audio. Or stories. Let alone audio erotica.

At this point, I want out. I feel my 30 minutes are not only up, but just a way to doom me to some lifetime struggle to get un-subscribed. I head off to cancel my membership.

At the bottom of my VIP members page, a golden link “CANCEL SUBSCRIPTION.” Oh yes, thank you, I will.

From there, you go to ‘Technical Support’ which isn’t what you wanted. But there is a link at the top for ‘Billing Support & Cancellation.’ As I click it, I wonder where I will end up, but I get there. Only there is a catch. Naturally.

Gracie has paid with a credit card, so she feels this line is most appropriate to follow: “Credit Card Customers may search for or cancel their member account by visiting the billing company that appears on your transaction receipt, and credit card statement.” This is followed by 2 payment processing companies. None of which are familiar... A quick look back at my purchase receipt, and nope, neither of these are the right companies. Is this some plan to make me run over my 30 minutes & be billed?

I go to the payment processor’s site, & from there it was a snap. Or at least I think it was. God help them if it didn’t cancel my subscription.

(I have also emailed both the website & the payment processor with my cancellation request. I have received replies from robots, but no humans yet.)

So, overall, what do I think of Fem Fantasy? Or Purve, or whoever they are? Let me put it this way...

I wish I had the owners & operators of this site in my presence. Gracie, dressed as a nun & with ruler in hand, would instruct them to repeat after me:

I will not violate trust by playing switcheroo.
I will not assault my members with popups.
I will deliver what I promise.
I will not trap victims.
I will not be a ninny.

After this, they are each instructed to write the following on the chalkboards of eternity: I will become a person of integrity.