An Interview with Womanizer Stephen Chatman
The book seems like diary enteries... were the essays originally written as such?
I had love for one woman and didnít dare express it in fear of losing her. Around her was dreamlike and the close of our evenings was depressing. To write in my diary was how I made love to her. The need to be with her froze me in time, and not since Middle school had the desire to be among other women become meaningless. I took a deep breath and revealed my diary, but she was busied with her own doom. She had the waning attention a parent has for their childís artwork on a hectic morning. After reality knuckled me I continued my diary, part penance, part therapeutic, returning to numerous women and life darkened again. No love, only devotion to sensual pleasure, running from myself to be with me. Your honor, for six months I swear I was a virtuous man.
Writing Confessions took some guts. Tell us why you wanted to both write this book & publish it. Did you have a mission?
I watched the faces of women who read it and I learned without words of their pain. And I got tired of my diary being borrowed.
A mission? It will take a thousand mile walk to be with HER and Iíve advanced two blocks. My pace doesnít justify my means, but love is about possibility. Satisfy the mind and the penis will follow.
What has the response been to Confessions? How have men responded? Women? Ex-lovers?
The response has been mixed and I knew it would be. Itís not a fiction novel with a happy ending. Itís real life up close, too close for some.
If I cared what men thought I wouldnít have written what I did. I wrote as if no men of virtue existed. Besides, men donít think, we react. During book signings men approach me with all-teeth grins, asking why I wrote a book about their lives. After we wade through the machismo, the real men, the confident ones, discuss the things, which hound us as males.
Men are ego-driven morons. We really donít grow up until weíre sitting in a clinic with a wart. Most men donít know love; they either bought in too early or sold out in fear of getting old. I feel sorry for men, myself included, and weíve really screwed the female side of the planet.
Ex-lovers see what they want, many of my exís selected entries having nothing to do with them. Who am I to block anotherís view?
It's been two years since you've published Confessions, how do you look at it now? As an author & as a man? In which area do you think you have grown more?
I rarely read Confessions, my underbelly. I dug too deep and it disturbs me. It has truly altered my dating. Thereís a lot of good and bad I wish to forget, but I canít.
Everyone looks for growth and is disappointed when I say I havenít, so I lie and say I have. Iím not wiser, but I do step back and see a bigger picture when I approach women. I can see beyond beauty and walk away when I see nothing greater.
What advice would you give to a woman who falls for a womanizer?
Fredrich Neitche said, "That which fails to destroy us - makes us stronger" I'd give the advice of a coach to a boxer who just lost. Suck it up, buckle down, and try harder next time. Learn from the experience. I caution women to keep their hearts open. You never know when the right man will come along, so don't get hardened to opportunity. Even womanizing gets old.
Come on now! You really advocate a woman sticking around on the romantic notion that he'll change, he'll grow? ...are secretly trying to manipulate for your cause & romance more women down the 'Oh, I can save him!' path?!
Sorry Gracie, I should have said learn from the experience AND MOVE ON to try harder with another man.
Ahh, Good Boy, Stephen *wink* Just when I was thinking I understood you! Speaking of that, as I reviewer I am always interested in the author's response & now I have the chance to hear from you! So what grade do I get as a reviewer? How do you feel about reviews/reviewers?
I felt you understood what I wrote. Some get too wrapped up by a womanizer and lost the lesson at hand. You get five stars for a concise, flattering review, but, as far as reviews go, even bad press is good press. Iím fortunate the reviewer had time for me. I hate when I read a review, which lambastes, but doesnít tell why.
To Hell with flattery, if a writer doesnít like your review he should follow you home and kick you ass... just kidding.
It was unusual to see the book 'sponsored.' Can you tell us the story behind that choice?
Liquor and tobacco companies came forth with money, but I wanted to go beyond the usual. The makers of the female condom seemed to be a better fit. Sexual protection is very important to me.
What is success for you as an author?
Money and mimosas every morning would be nice, but success is when I have satisfied my need to be heard.
And as a man?
I can't say. As a man I've had enough failure to hurl me past where I began in time. Once I make it back to the starting block I'll evaluate success and give a
What's next for you?
I recently finished Little Black Book. Without wave riding, if there shall ever be a male Sex in the City, then Iíve written it. Iíd like to transition into film so Iíve toyed with a script for my novel, Cooking Bacon Naked. Itís loosely based, but centered upon a repenting womanizer.
Right now Iím working on a novel about a gigolo with a big heart and this Fall weíre launching my web site, AskTheWomanizer.
Hmmmm, I'm thinking of those questions already...