Real Sex is so Much Better
Porn sex isn't real, and it's a shame that so many people don't know that.
My therapist told me about a study once, showing that human beings become sexually imprinted at puberty. Whatever sexual images they see at that vulnerable age will be stimulating to them for the rest of their lives. I think this is particularly true for men.
So we have a culture of men who have been sexually imprinted at the age of fourteen, with images of skinny blonde women with big tits. Orgasmic women who love to give head so much that they go out of their minds with arousal at the opportunity to suck a man’s dick. And they love to be naked and they have really loud, long orgasms. In fact, for some women, the entire sex act is one long, loud orgasm.
This is what porn teaches men to expect from sexual relationships with real women. Obviously, they discover something quite different when they achieve the real thing, but they never stop expecting it or imagining that must be the kind of sex everyone else is having. Fortunately for us, many men learn eventually that they should master certain skills and apply a bit more effort to their lovemaking than what’s required of the fellows in porn movies.
But some men never snap to this truth: real woman do not have sex like women in porn movies. If they do, they’re performing. And that is what’s sadder still, that some women learn their sexual behavior from those same unrealistic portrayals and never get to enjoy sex as much as they could.
As I considered this idea, I wondered what kind of movie would portray something more realistic and sexually educational? I’m afraid that kind of movie wouldn’t be as entertaining or erotic because the important bits of good sex are not particularly visual or auditory. Yes, loud orgasms are hot, but not when they’re fake. The kind of moaning, talking, gasping and cursing that enhances sex is only possible between two people who know each other better than two actors in a film. The rest of it is too subtle for a camera to catch.
I spent my twenties having porn-movie style sex and wondering why it wasn’t as good as I was pretending it was. When I stopped feeling like I should be turned on by the same things those women in the movies were turned on by, I began to discover what really did turn me on and I grew confident enough to show someone how to do it. When I stopped trying so hard to make sure that my man was getting his “money’s worth” during sex, I discovered my partners were actually enjoying it even more.