Six Months Later
In February 2006, Kis Lee wrote an essay about White Male/Asian Female couples
. For a long time, she was part of that trend. But after her last relationship, she debated whether to date outside her usual preference...
I thought I needed a break from dating only White men. Six months later, I am currently involved with an Asian American guy. We've been dating for a few months, and we're slowly working towards becoming serious.
In the early stages, I told him that he was the first Asian guy I ever dated. He told me that I was the first Asian female he ever dated.
We're similar in that we're Americanized Asians. Like me, he grew up
in California, but he appreciates his own culture. A part of me
thought of our dating life as a kind of social experiment. Since this
was our first "dating Asian" experience, I thought it was a chance for
us to learn a lot.
I've noticed a few differences from my past relationships:
1. We like the same kinds of food, and we often have the same cravings
for "ethnic" food. Whether it's ramen, sushi, Thai, Indian, or Korean,
we both prefer Asian cuisine over American chain restaurants. Sure,
we'll have burgers once in a while, but we love our Asian cuisine.
2. We learn about each other's history and traditions. We're both
Asian, but we're not the same nationality. He teaches me a lot about
his people, and I teach him about mine. Even though we're Americans,
we also hold onto our cultural values.
3. We share the same politically-incorrect Asian humor. When we mock
bad Asian drivers, it's funny. When we make fun of our own Asian
sensibilities, we laugh. If you're non-Asian and you make the same
joke, I might punch you in the mouth. It's like having a set of inside
4. I liked being part of an Asian/Asian couple. Because of him, I have
a new-found appreciation of Asian males. To be honest, I was never
attracted to Asian men before. I guess I overlooked them in favor of
white guys with blue eyes. Now all I notice are Asian men and how hot
they are. He said he feels the same way. He sees and appreciates Asian
women in a whole new light.
At the same time, I also feel that dating is dating regardless of
race, ethnicity, or nationality. We bonded over interests that had
nothing to do with our heritage, e.g. music and movies. We argue about
the same, random things that other couples argue about. We experience
the same rollercoaster ride that all new couples experience.
I can't predict the future, and I don't know how this relationship
will turn out. I just know that I have a great time with him, and I
enjoy this relationship more than my previous ones. Six months ago, I
didn't know if an Asian guy could be my "type." It's been a growing
experience, and now I realize how much I love Asian men.
© Kis Lee
Find out more about Kis at her website, www.kislee.net, and at her blog.