Seems this Winter has been rough on some relationships...
Two of my dear friends have each gone through the 'end' and while they may be for all the right reasons, we still have had some serious talking to do...
While each of my friends is healing & relatively fine with her situation, we have, or course, discussed past break-ups. (So get ready for lots of nostalgia in the boudoirs!)
It seems that with age, each loss seems easier to handle. Those devestating moments, when your life seems empty , void of any meaning, and the future seems bleak ~ 'we will never love again!' ~ are not as intense the more often it happens.
Which is not to say that we have loved less each time, or that those past relationships were more intense than recent ones, in fact the opposite seems true. Each new love, in general, is greater, as if we have really learned how to love 'better & more.'
(It seems that junior high school does serve one purpose, namely that of how to deal with the emotions of loss of love & how to keep your self-identity, just that, as yourself, not the other person in the realtionship! *wink*)
At least with age & experience, there is wisdom!
But in our discussion of the many things we have done in the past to get over & move on, we have had some unflattering stories to share. And those were nothing to 'some other people we knew' who had/have done some scary things...
Some of us get mad, pissy & show our claws, others get weepy, moon over the loss to music or rent sappy films, and still others think it is party time, genuinely celebrating the wisdom learned & a new freedom.
But, some of us, well, we go down very dark paths.
Looking for comfort in all the 'wrong' places, as they say. I have seen women who occassionaly drink submersed in alcohol. I have seen women take to their credit cards, getting high with each purchase that drags them closer to (or over!) their limits. I have seen women become 'loose' in a dangerous manner, not just available to anyone, but no condoms, no pleasure, just fuckin' so they don't have to be alone for a bit...
When it comes to break-ups, we women can be a danger to ourselves...
Gracie doesn't pretend to be a therapist. Nor does she have all the answers ~ especially since the situation for each woman is as unique as she is, and the 'answer' not easily dispensed in some website writing.
But I wonder:
Are they seeking a replacement bond? Taking comfort in company of any stimulant that keeps them from being truly alone?
Are they trying to rebel against some 'rule' of the ended relationship, thinking this makes them free of all that?
Have they lost their identity? Did they, in fact, choose a bad relationship, one doomed to fail, because they secretly felt not-worthy, and this break-up only 'proves' that to themselves?
Or is it some combination of the above?
*sigh*
My heart aches for these women. In the dark of Winter, their vulnerability must be that much more intense...
Reach out, Sex Kittens, help your sisters through the dark times. Tell them how 'this to shall pass' is not just some saying ~ we have lived it! Show them how beautiful they are. Teach them to find the lessons, so they will be ready for the next try at love. Help them to move on, safely.
On a more fun note...
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Corny, cheesy, and down-right funny... Those letters to Penthouse!
Yes, you can still send us your fantasy letters! Have a "Dear Sex Kitten, you'll never believe what happened!" story ~ we'll publish the best of them on the site!
(Sure they can be funny! We are mocking those men's mags, so go right ahead!)
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