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More On Breaking Up! The Beginning of the End...
the Saga Continues...
So she ended her four-year-long affair. Telling him to "go fuck himself." She
felt good. She felt empowered. She felt relieved. Now maybe she could begin
focusing her energies on more important things, since she feels she has
finally cleaned out the last bit of shit in her life.
Her family and friends are her main focus now. She can now be free to put all
her energies into those who have given so much to her. They say paybacks are
a bitch, however, she feels she must give something back. But how? How does
she repay the person who's shoulder she cried on? How does she begin to repay
her husband who stayed with her and loved her, despite her wanton ways? How
does she even begin to repair the maybe irreparable damage she has caused?
She feels that simple apologies are not enough. Bandages, nor salves, nor any
medicines known to man, heal scars left on souls, nor do the "I'm sorrys,"
her sleepless nights, or tearstained cheeks. She knows now she must give of
herself, of her heart, of her being.
She is making progress. Slowly. An example of that progress showed in her
heartfelt support of her closest and dearest friend. Said friend has ALWAYS
been there. Through her good times...through her bad. Said friend was now
going through the bad. At first she felt she scared. This was new territory
for her. She didn't want to get involved. She thought to herself, how can I
say I am a friend if I only stick by her in good times? And so she gave. She
gave what she had. Even though she was frightened and did not know if what
she was doing was the "right thing" she did it anyway. For once her heart
sang with a joy thetas been hidden away in the dark, deep recesses of her
mind and heart, never knowing if she'd ever feel that wonderful feeling of
giving again. But it emerged. And like a new butterfly taking flight, she
reveled in the feeling that she did something good. She did something honest,
and pure, and true. Seeing said friend happy and joyous made her happy and
joyous. A feeling she has not felt in so long.
She hopes to continue down this new road..thisnew adventure. Slowly. Making
sure that every inch is accounted for. Not wanting to miss out on anything.
Be it good. Be it bad. She feels good..she feels empowered, she feels free.
By Carla
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