You Are Not Allowed…. - Sex~Kitten.net

I will purr words that will set you afire.
           I will stroke you to oblivion.
              I will leave you panting
                Begging I never leave you.

But you are never allowed to judge the body image. As we get older life happens and we don’t have those wonderful bodies we had in youth. Some of us really never ever had those wonderful bodies.

Except for body image, those of us who have more than “a few pounds to lose” are as normal as any of the rest of you. In fact, you might find it difficult to believe, but the sex life of the obese and active can be more fulfilling than that of the thin and tight. A few facts come to light looking at the literature regarding obesity and sex:

☻ There are few problems with performance or libido.

He can have an erection. She can have an orgasm. Once you can wrap your mind around this simple fact, the rest is a walk in the park. All the parts function and function well.

☻ Obese people marry and sex is an important source of pleasure in their relationships.

Have you noticed that there are a lot of people who are fat who are married? In case you haven’t noticed, there are as many children born to the obese as to the skinny population. Just as with any other relationship that is loving and caring, sex is a part of that partnership. A caring partner who makes you feel great is the best gift in the world. I know. I had a skinny runt for an ex-jerk and his concept of sex was how many times he could do it in a day. Notice that the focus was on him. He didn’t care how I felt. Sex with a caring partner, no matter their size, is exciting and exhilarating.

☻ For the single and obese, limited opportunity rather than lack of desire is the real problem.

Unfortunately the world discriminates. That and the images purveyed in all media send women the message that unless we have large breasts, tiny waists, and ample hips, they are not sexy. Men learn that they should have washboard abs and tight buns. How many stories do you read where the woman is not curvy and the man is not tall and muscular? Too many of us have yet to learn that the brain is the sexiest organ of all. Once that fact sinks in, a whole new world of eroticism opens to you.

☻ Masturbation is as common as other parts of the population.

We all hear of the jock jacking off. We read about the high powered sexy secretary getting it off in her boss’ office. But masturbation is an act enjoyed by all who have a healthy sex life. Wanting to feel good is common in the entire population. Turned on is not turned off by body image.

☻ Some obese may be more sexually active than their anorexic counterparts: they can be stimulated and stimulating partners.

Long ago in another lifetime, a college stud confided in me “Fuck a fat broad and she’ll be grateful.” He had the right idea, but for the wrong reason. Those of us without the Ken and Barbie body images are often more giving and responsive partners. It’s not out of gratitude; it’s out of sheer pleasure. One thing we are not afraid to show is enjoyment. Give me a partner who is more interested in feeling good than looking that way, and I’ll show you a partner who can please you.

☻ Experimentation with sexual positions minimizes the obstacles to size.

Not only does it minimize the obstacles, it makes sex interesting and exciting. A partner who is willing to take chances on different ways to please you is one of the most exciting partners you can ever have. Years of “missionary misery” can be wiped away by a partner who will try new things to send you into the throes of ecstasy. The variety is endless. And so is your pleasure. Mine has been.

What doctors and counselors don’t know about fat people and sex could fill an entire encyclopedia. I can attest to that. My personal physician’s advice when I even broached the subject was “lose weight.” And this was coming from as doctor whose belly overhung the belt by a margin larger than his penis could ever be. And counselors can be embarrassed. My physical therapist got all red and flustered when I talked to her about sex after an injury. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s injury or body shape, they really do need to get a clue.

If you want a clue to some positions and ideas for pleasuring your partner, check out the reference below. Not only with those of us with more weight than is healthy learn something about our partners, but the skinny world might just learn some of the secrets we’ve kept from them for years.

You deserve a great sex life. You have earned it. The only thing you cannot blame for not having one is body size. You are not allowed….