|
You've Come a Long Way, Baby! We may want to think the world has changed a lot, but the double standard is with us from waking to sleeping. “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!”
 That’s what the Virginia Slims ads claimed long ago in a different world. But the double standard is alive and kicking butt everywhere from the boardroom to the bedroom. In fact, in some areas it seems we are losing ground. It has become so pervasive that even CBS Evening News is doing a series on “Working Women.”
Sexual harassment is still with us. And not only is there the obvious double standard, but there are some areas where it is even more insidiously evil. If the Lady Boss tells a subordinate “You need to be fucked till your eyes cross” she will be fired on the spot. If the He Boss says the same thing he gets a reprimand with a poke in the ribs and a wink. Even the acceptability of language is brushed by the double standard. An “oh, fuck” will get a written reprimand in the employment folder by her, even if it’s the first time she ever said the word aloud in the workplace. He will get a “just watch it,” if that. I personally have experience with that one. I said it for the first time in 25 years in the workplace and received the written reprimand. That means I will not get a raise in the next round because there is one written reprimand in my folder during the year. The employee next to me uses it every other word he says…nothing.
While I’m talking about money, there is still the difference in pay for the same job. Back when I was in high school, my mother was hired the same week as a man to do the same job. She made $0.56 to his $1.00. The gap hasn’t shortened much since then. She would make $0.73 to his $1.00. It has nothing to do with qualifications. It has nothing to do with experience. It has everything to do with sex.
If motherhood is the kiss of death on some jobs, why isn’t fatherhood? Some women have been fired simply because they are mothers. These are women who have had glowing reviews. And when it comes time to downsize, my next-door-cubicle inhabitant was told, “after all, even though you have seniority, he has a family to support.” She doesn’t? She was a single mother supporting two children with no child support from the biological donor.
While we are discussing donors, there is definitely a double standard in the bedroom for a majority of women. It is “his” pleasure. Connubial bliss is experienced on his schedule. If she isn’t ready to fake another orgasm (see When Harry Met Sally) she is accused of being frigid. If she suggests a different position, she’s a whore. If she suggests sex when he’s not ready, she’s an insatiable bitch. Heaven forbid she should suggest some new position, a bit of bondage, or a reversal of roles. It’s not only not acceptable, but reason to suggest she’s an unfit parent. If he makes the same suggestions, he’s just adventurous.
Now, I realize that all situations are not black and white. There are understanding bosses, some corporations are making an effort to treat all employees the same, and some partners are understanding and compassionate. But, for the most part, women are still living under the onus of a double standard.
| 
Email Article
Print Article
Discuss This (0 Comments)
Del.icio.us
Furl
Technorati
Yahoo! My Web
Reddit
Column Archives
Column RSS Subscription
