Interview With a Dom, Part II

Sarah: Discuss how D/s is a power exchange & not abuse. (I know this is very much like Laura's line of questioning. So sue me!

John: I said something about this in my comments to Laura. No, I don't want to sue, but naughtiness calls for punishment - perhaps a really kinky kaning? (He grins wickedly)

Seriously, when d/s works well the sub entrusts herself totally, body and soul to Master. He systematically strips her of any remaining shred of control over anything. She surrenders control over her most intimate bodily functions to Him. He already knows - or instinctively finds all those lil buttons of hers - and presses hard enough to make her wild, delirious, crazier than crazy, make her O and O and O till she just can't stop - till she no longer has any idea of whether she's cumming or peeing or both. He stimulates her girlie-spot till - if she's lucky - she squirts and squirts. The whole becomes so indescribably ***intense*** and unbearable that after a while - if she's lucky - she finds the one and only way out: she leaves her body and soars , floats and ~soars~ to sheer ~ecstasy~ She may experience the earlier stages of this as an out-of-body experience and even see her contorted, writhing, still helplessly orgasming body far below.

The very first ~trip~ to ~ecstasy~ (vulgarly known as "subspace") may be an unnerving as well as intensely erotic experience. (Unnerving because it is one of those "extremes of human experience" and can at the same time be a shock).

Master holds His sub lovingly and tightly in His arms, and whispers sweetly and reassuringly to his helpless darling throughout her ~trip~."Re-entry" - the descent from ecstasy to towards the real world - is often tricky. He hugs her even tighter, tries harder than ever to reassure her, helps her overcome the shaking that she suddenly experiences. He, the Master, knows that His sweet sub has lost a lot of fluid and should serve her a cold, refreshing non-alcoholic drink, which usually does much to reduce the shaking. He knows, too, that many of her muscles will have been given unwonted exercise ... that she may have difficulty getting back on to her feet. At every stage He is fully aware of His sub's helplessness and treats her with the utmost consideration.

There are many different levels of ~ecstasy~ and at the very highest levels the sub may no longer know where she is, what's really happening to her or even know *who* she is - nor does she care about any of this anyway.If Master is doing His stuff properly she will be aware of Him and His dominating presence throughout. Master will know that He is her sole 'point of reference', her only aid to orientation, that He and she are joined together in one world of mysterious ecstatic union.

Obviously, this is a description of an ideal form of very intense d/s.

What could be further removed from abuse? Remember that abuse comes from people who are angry, out of control, can't cope with life - or from people who hate, people bristling with resentment, people who want to make the lives of others a misery because their own lives are utterly wretched.

Gracie: Along the lines of Kat's questions, the pain/pleasure connection. As a witness to it, how do you feel, what do you get out of it?

John: Recently I've noticed a veritable *cult* of erotic pain among some subs. The pain usually includes cumming without touching the clit, just from squeezing, tugging and perhaps also twisting tugged nips. The shockwaves go shooting down to the clit, there are often powerful and intensely erotic contractions. The Master may torment His sub just a little by ordering to 'hold' *grins*. The OOOO when it comes is different from an ordinary O. The sub feels as if her whole body is OOing hard ... wave upon wave upon wave. Sometimes, just before the sub cums I step up the pain to her nips to new heights, send her hurtling helplessly over that threshold and then relax my grip as she cums hard and helplessly at my bebooted feet. (smiles) It's such a joy to feel subbie clinging firmly to my high black leather boots as she cums so hard.

Another favourite is to make subbie hot as hell - perhaps from teasing her nips - then as the need to O gets unbearable to part her labia, wipe her clit as dry as possible, then tug it and also twist. The OOs that this gives her are usually spectacular. Most say afterwards that they experience a "blinding flash" just before or as the OO starts and they keep on cumming hard and helplessly. wow woohoo One can spice it up further by rubbing the pee-hole while she cums, but I know not everyone likes this. Another way of spicing things up almost unbearably to rub and press on that little spot just above the clit.

Incidentally, these are things that, if you wish, you can experiment with on you own. Note that tug n twist clit can send some subs out of body.

For many, though, the most thrilling type of pain is that of the whip and the cane. (smiling broadly) Of course, the whipping and/or canings can follow hard on the heels of Os from tugging and twisting clit.

One of my favourites is to make a sub cum 3-5 times of more from pain to nips, then bypass her aching, throbbing clit and place a finger on her g-spot. She kisses my kinkykane and while I rub subbie girlie-spot I cane her bum. Almost always she explodes into O very early. (I've already described this).

In America, for some reason, many recoil in horror at the thought of the cane and assume it's the kind of cane used in Singapore. The canes I use are light, and the actual caning is often little more than rapid tapping - just enough to spice things up beyond endurance, to get subbie 'locked' into a cycle of Os - yes, one after the other. (Os from g-spot stimulation are generally less intense than those from clitoral stimulation, but are ideal for multiples). Generally, I continue the rubbing and caning while subbie Os - and soon she soars all the way to ~ecstasy~

Wow! I'm getting very explicit, completely uninhibited, shameless and even XXXXX-rated. Caning a charming and kinky girl while she cums? That's supposed to be completely shock! horror! - but it's such wicked fun.

Another kind of increasingly popular kind of erotic pain is stimulating the sub to the point where she has amazingly powerful contractions and ordering her to hold her O. This can make the O, when it is finally allowed, something akin to a volcanic eruption. Obviously, this type of pain needs careful handling, as the contractions are, I'm told, those that a woman gets when in labour without an anaesthetic - which for many women becomes hellish.

These kinds of pain, with a considerate Dom who really respects you aren't dangerous. Please *don't* fool around with anything that interferes with breathing or that restricts the blood supply to the brain.

I have encountered a very small number of subs - I think they would actually all call themselves slavegirls who are up to their ears in pain, really addicted to it. wowee woohoo omg ... I don't want to be dogmatic, but very often addicts like or even need to step up the dose, so be careful. Nevertheless, I most confess that I admire their devotion to ***the*** kink.Some are even able to go straight from intense torment to ~ecstasy~ without cumming. From what they have told me, the experience of ~ecstasy~ from pain inflicted by Master is different from the kind of ~ecstasy~ they experience after endless Os. All say it's just as erotic and some say it's even more intense.

However, amazing pain ~ecstasy~ without an O is something for a tiny group of devotees of the cult of pain.

Sarah: What do you get out of inflicting pain?

John:--- Nothing marks the trust involved in "power exchange" than real pain ... Nothing stresses so obviously, visibly and audibly the (agreed) inequality in the relationship. Pain demonstrates clearly who's in charge, in control, who's boss. Pain is one of the opposites of power and strips a sub of her control.

I sing a hymn of praise to the glories of thrilling, erotic, magic pain - pain that reduces subbie to completely helplessness.

---Perhaps I have certain something that makes me enjoy a whiff of erotic cruelty (with consent). "Erotic cruelty" - yes, it's so much more positive and voluptuous than that ghastly word "sadism."

As many of you will be well aware there's also a relevant biological dimension to pain. It increases the body's production of its very own, perfectly legal opiate, endorphins. (If you haven't heard about this, ask).

Laura: I like Kat's question too. Does you have to have pain to feel you are being a Dom? Or can you get the same pleasure out of the play without pain being involved?

John: Oh. Laura, you sound so delightfully naughty. I can get the pleasure (low key) without pain being involved. (See earlier comments to Kat). However, from time to time (or more often) I just love to indulge in the really high key version.

Wow, Laura! So, *so*, so0o0o, SO much interest in pain! You really ought to visit me in England (unaccompanied, of course). It might turn out to be that ~trip~ of a lifetime!

Now before I vanish as mysteriously as I arrived, let me say b'bye and b'bii for now and wish all of you every joy and amazing ~trips~

If you would like to ask questions of That Wicked Master in Black Leather, please direct questions to him on the message boards. Either he will answer them directly or we will forward them to him.