BDSM meets Tantra - Sex~Kitten.net

Radical Ecstasy: SM Journeys to Transcendence

Authors Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy take what many would call an unlikely set of ingredients, tastes that some would say clash, & served up one hot dish.

Ringing with pro-sex affirmations (complete with feminist thoughts as well as care to encompass multiple orientations, genders, gender-bending, group sex -- you name it), this book does it’s best to be inclusive. Which is darn smart. Like any self-help book, you have to get the reader to find themselves represented in the text. No easy feat when you consider the subject matter illuminates the relationship between BDSM & sacred transcendence.

For years I have experienced tantric sex, often finding the greatest connections during my experiences as a submissive pain slut. Try telling that to any lover - past, present or potential - and I end up with those ‘whatever you say, baby’ expressions. Which has been ok, I still get mine *wink* In fact, I don’t usually try to tell anyone anymore about my ‘tremendous transcendental things’ because they never understand, and in my futility at explaining them, I tend to question them myself.

But no more. The questioning, that is.

Right now, I have no worries about telling anyone, as I am sequestering myself again this winter. Which is ok too, for many of the exercises in this book can be done alone. The first few simple breathing techniques, offered as a ‘starting point,’ are a wonderful way for me to begin masturbation.

(You know how it is when you really, really, need to get laid/have an orgasm, but you are too cranky to begin? Well, now, instead of turning to the fridge, you can do a few of these breathing techniques, and suddenly, you’re much more in the mood to reach for your fav sex toy than you are that Dove bar...)

But if you are lucking enough to be having sex with a partner (or partners), these breathing techniques must rock both your worlds... Provided you can get them to breathe along.

Unless Dossie & Janet are lying when they note their personal stories, tantra for two is wonderful! As I am already enjoying my own physical epiphanies on a very constant level, I don’t doubt them.

But I digress. Many of you may not see the connection between the darkness of BDSM & the enlightenment of a transcendent trip... That is unless you’ve ever experienced sub-space. Then you know that it is possible - and desired!

The rest of you are a bit skeptical. You’re picturing leather-clad Dommes canning while chanting ‘Ohm,’ aren’t you. But it’s not like that, I swear.

Even though it deals with spiritual matters, & does include thoughts on chakras, energies, & other ‘new age spiritual stuff,’ the book isn’t some preachy book either. Pagans will find many things that resonate for them, which I think is a plus. Even if you don’t consider yourself ‘Pagan’ much of what you read here will sound to you like imagery exercises, relaxation techniques, etc.

And, as both authors often remind the reader, these images, techniques & practices work for them, but that you should do what feels right for you. At many points the authors themselves used different techniques, or held differing beliefs, so your views & beliefs will feel honored as well.

For those of you who are new to BDSM, and you wonder if it is ‘dark, scary & bad,’ I suggest you give this book a read. While it is not written for beginners, I found it to be a wonderful overview -- so much more interesting than many basic intro to BDSM books.

You can treat the scenes as fantasy material, to try on in your mind. (Those familiar with BDSM will find the shared examples by the authors rather arousing!)

Even if it you find BDSM is not your cup of tea, try a few breathing techniques on your own, or see if you can introduce them into your regular sex life.

If you, as a beginner, find you are interested in exploring BDSM, then get a few of the basic books before you try anything as advanced as most of the stories/examples. But this will give you an astonishing overview of BDSM. You get brief, but well-done, overviews on role-play, D/s vs SM, age play, humiliation, 24/7 & more.

It will show you the rich, wonderful, vital, healing, healthy parts of BDSM -- even if you never try the principles of tantra. And the authors present the information in a way that is engaging & intriguing to read. It is not some dry, dull text. It’s as alive, divine & sexy!

While the book is easy to read, I can imagine it was not easy to write. Both authors share their thoughts on the difficulty with writing this book -- for how does one really describe orgasm? How does one try to capture the delicious sensations, the bliss, when it is gone? (And who can try to write while in such a state?!)

I’ve long wanted to write a column here about what I thought were my unique sexual moments of the ultimate splendor. But I’ve felt freakish. And it would be difficult. But now that Dossie & Janet have given it a go, I feel inspired to do the same.

But right now, I’m going to my bed to do some more ‘undulating’ breathing -- and I’m taking my favorite dildo with me.