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Porn Shop Near Church Offers 'Clergy Discount' At a time when the headlines are full of revelations about Catholic priests fondling (and worse) the young children of their flocks, I was relieved to discover this headline linking church officials with sex:
Porn Shop Near Church Offers 'Clergy Discount'
According to news reports out of STEWARTVILLE, Minn., a local porn store – located near church – posted signs directed at church officials and members of their flock.
On one side, the sign provides a wry commentary on the Catholic scandals. "No need to mailorder. Gay videos in stock. Clergy discount. Have good sex. Hallelujah!" And on the other: "And God said go out into the world and have great sex. God's gift to women. Amen and amen."
The slogans made me laugh, but they’re no laughing matter to the church's pastor. He says the store owner is, “thumbing his nose at the laws of God” and adds, "I just hope I'm not too close when the lightning strikes."
Oh, please. If god were going to strike the shop-owner down, don’t you think he would’ve done it by now? Or certainly immediately after the story broke nationally, thus getting the most bang for his lightning bolt buck?
Last I heard, the store and its owner are still standing. There hasn’t been so much as a thunder storm in the area. No fire and brimstone. And business is booming thanks to the publicity.
Could it be that God has a sense of humor? Could it be that god is so repulsed by the actions of some church officials that he chose to smite them (at least in the court of public opinion) rather than the small businessman doing his best to earn an honest living?
Maybe the clergymen are so up in arms because they want to take advantage of the clergy discount but are too uptight to do it. Wouldn’t it send a great message to the public if the pastor wheeled into the store, bought a few vibes, a bottle of lube or even just some rubbers and asked for his discount?
It’s not like half (or probably more) of his flock aren’t enjoying some gay porn, anal sex or toys any way. Admitting he does, too, might just put him on, shall we say, higher ground with his congregation by admitting it?
But that would be wrong, wouldn’t it? Because men of the cloth never do anything sexual, do they? Even the married ones only procreate to further the species, right?
Yeah. Just tell that to those poor kids molested by their priests. Maybe if the bishops and fathers were watching more gay porn (at a discount or not), they wouldn’t have had to act out their fantasies on little kids.
Like Dennis Miller says, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Till we find out, I applaud the Stewartville porn purveyor for his moxie and sense of humor. We should all remember to laugh more!
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