My Sapphic Valentine - Sex~Kitten.net

It has been almost four years since I met Kelly. She was a student and I was working a dead-end job at a gas station. Recently having come Out I was enjoying the monumental feeling of relief that comes with self-realization. She and I met at the university’s “Gay Prom” that year and proceeded to have one of those disgustingly happy descents into lesbian couple-hood. We had taken what our bodies told us felt good and turned it into a relationship. Maybe not the smartest thing but almost four years (and only one short separation) later, we’re still madly in love and working our relationship.

Lesbian couples tend to have a heads-up in the romance department. It comes from the deep-seated belief (I consider it truth) that women are innately more in tune with man and nature. Designed by and large to be the world’s spit cup, our cup-runneth-over in the empathy department. No matter how masculine a woman may act or be we are still very intuitive with our partner(s).

Does this mean a heterosexual couple cannot be as in touch with each other? Of course not. Does this mean every lesbian couple exemplifies this trait? Absolutely not. But what it has created for Kelly and I make us both very happy to be where we are.

Women are taught to expect flowers, candy, and hopefully a diamond ring come February 14th. Lesbians tend to commit from the first moment a mutually interested coupling springs up. And they can just spring up on you. We’re like the ninjas of the dating world. Hiyah!! We’re a couple! Let’s register at Ikea!

Political rants aside; marriage is currently not a viable option for us. In fact, many lesbians would be insulted with the mere suggestion that their relationship, as it is, is some how inferior to a heterosexual married couple. I think this allows us a certain freedom with our expressions of love that straight couples can’t relax and enjoy.

The woman is (most likely) already living with us. What threat is there in telling her how much you love her or by giving her something really intimate like a poem you wrote? Being with a woman who gets you is like being with your best friend who knows how many Valentine Days went by without your Prince Charming riding up on a white steed and proposing on one knee (after he recited a sonnet, of course). It’s not the Hallmark aisle or the flower seller for a dozen red roses. It’s star lilies and your favorite dinner. It’s a hundred little cut-out hearts taped to the ceiling with one reason you love her on each. It’s making love to her all night.

After having this for the past three years I am always somewhat stunned when I hear co-workers swooning over an expensive dinner and rented hotel room. “I think this might be the year he proposes!” is over-heard too many times. This is almost always followed by, “What should I wear? Sexy or virginal?” I guess you could say I’m cynical but I prefer to be considered ‘spoiled’.

Let’s take a look at a straight couple who have been dating for three years. How many times would the woman’s friends turn to her and say, “He hasn’t asked yet? Maybe you should throw him back and keep fishing.” Every year V-day rolls around and she spends the evening anticipating the moment he digs in his pocket for the ring. We’ve all seen the movies where Joe takes Jane out on a romantic V-day date to a fancy restaurant. Afterwards he gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him. Yet, how many times has it actually happened?

Valentine’s Day let downs have ended more relationships than I can remember. I think it’s precisely this pressure that separates straight couples from gay ones. I still would like to walk down the aisle one day and say “I do” to the woman of my dreams, but I have to admit, it’s kind of nice to not feel like something’s wrong with me because I’m in a relationship and aren’t engaged or married.

I know we all get stressed out over trying to figure out the most romantic or accepted gift to get our loved one. The holiday isn’t about being perfect. At least, I don’t think it should be. Everyone just slow down, look at him or her, and see what makes them happy. I’m willing to bet good money it isn’t anything that’s going to stress you out.. that badly.