Love is A Drug - Sex~Kitten.net

I'd never thought of him being that perceptive, but I could only look forward in silence and realize that he was right. I think about him constantly and go thorough withdrawals when I don't see him. I know he's bad for me, but I don't care. The thrill of being with him is short-lived and usually disappointing. I've been told by others to quit seeing him, but I don't listen.

Such is my problem with men and relationships. I develop addictions. Deep, painful addictions that go on for years and years. I convince myself that this man is the only man for me, the only one who will ever understand me, the only one I can relate to. I try to quit them, I really do try, but I can never bring myself to do it. Sooner or later, the guy usually picks up on my addictive behavior and slowly makes a break for it, leaving me wondering what I did wrong.

This addictive behavior isn't reserved for all men I met, rather a select few that strike me as different or exceptional. My current addiction struck me as one of the strangest people I'd ever met, but I wasn't immediately attracted to him at first. His odd behavior and questionable social skills usually create a sense of uneasiness for everyone in the room with him. He has a drinking problem and a terrible case of arrested development. He annoyed the hell out of me at first, but eventually he began to grow on me. I started thinking about him constantly... and alas, my addiction began.

So why, you ask, would intelligent Libby be attracted to such an unsavory sort? I might mention that he's very kind-the sort that gives all his spare change to the homeless man on the street and rescues his friends at a moment's notice when they're in a bind. He's tall, handsome, funny, and doesn't care what other people think of him. But of course the real reason I'm attracted to him is because I know he's bad for me. Like so many women, I'm attracted to the bad boy, the one who's a little too cocky for his own good, the one I can challenge and who'll provide me with a challenge as well. He does that pretty well.

Sure I've had some opportunities to go out with some perfectly nice guys over the past year...the kind that take me out to expensive dinners and can provide me with a stable relationship, but none of them give me the high that he does. I'd think about him constantly on the date and go straight to his house as soon as I was done with the other guy. Addictions are like that; they take over your life.

And it's not like I have an addictive personality, either. I gave up smoking without even trying, I quit smoking pot cold turkey after being a habitual smoker for five years, and I've never had a drinking problem or hard-drug addiction. It's just these men that I can't seem to quit.

So finally, on New Year's Eve, hoping to rid myself of all my bad habits and begin the new year with a fresh start, I ended it with him. He seemed unfazed by my declaration, perhaps suspecting that I didn't really mean it. For weeks, it felt like torture, not knowing if I'd ever speak to him again or if and when I'd meet someone new. I tried to distract myself by calling a guy I'd met over the summer and was interested in, but nothing ever happened. The withdrawal was painful.

So of course, like most addicts, I relapsed. I sent an innocent text message asking if he missed me to which he replied "Yes." That was good enough for me. I went to see him, but I was already feeling sick when I got there and didn't feel the "high" I usually get. I suppose that's how it is for most drug users...after awhile you don't get the high you used to, but somehow you feel better in the end.