How to Be a Great Lover, by Lou Paget

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Lou is actually a woman, which is significant because the charm of this book lies in the slumber-party style girlfriend-to-girlfriend nature of the material. If you can imagine, rather like the girls from SK lying around in our lingerie, comparing our latest sex toy purchases and discussing our favorite lubricants. It’s all here.

The suggestion that got my motor running, the one that prompted me to go out and buy the book after my best friend called me up and said “Listen to this…” before reading to me the section entitled “His Pearl Necklace,” is a creative new use for a woman’s pearls.

Now, I am not a pearls kind of girl. I don’t believe my neck has ever been graced with anything even resembling a strand of pearls, but this is exactly the kind of quirky creativity I adore in a sexual relationship.

You start out by wearing your pearls out for the evening, on a date with your man. Play with them provocatively throughout the night, make sure his attention is drawn to the pearls again and again. Then later, when you’re alone, approach him seductively wearing nothing but the pearls. Carry on with seducing your man and when the moment seems right, undo your pearls and drag them slowly across your lover’s body.

Step 2: Lightly lubricate his penis, then slowly adorn him with your pearls, wrapping the strand around his shaft…Because you’ve worn them out for dinner, the pearls will be softly warm.

Step 3: When his penis looks like it’s wearing a Princess Diana choker, start slowly stroking him with a Basket Weaving stroke—up and down with a twist.

Step 4: Then unwrap his penis and, as if you are flossing under his testciles, slowly pull the pearls from one side to the other, slightly lifting his testicles.

Step 5: When you are done, “coil the poiles” at the base of his shaft and settle yourself on top of him.

Having trouble picturing how to do it? Fear not, there are illustrations!

How To Be A Great Lover by Lou Paget The book covers creating your sensual environment, lubricants, blow-jobs, sex toys and some of the best hand-job techniques I’ve ever heard of! I thought I was pretty darn good in the sack, but I came away from this book feeling like I’d learned the secrets of the universe.

For instance, kissing. Did anybody ever tell you how a man likes for a woman to kiss? I guess most of us probably think a woman need not be told, she can tell by the way he kisses her and she learns from experience, but apparently, ladies, we are not as good at it as we think we are. Aside from the obvious things, such as bad breath or drooling, here are the most common complaints: too much lipstick, lips held too tightly together, tongue held too pointed and poking in and out like Woody Woodpecker, and sucking too hard on his lips (I am probably guilty of this).

If an old pro can learn something from this book, imagine what it can do for the shy, tentative young girl just starting out on her own sexual adventures in life. I would have loved to have this book in my twenties.

Review of How to Be a Great Lover: Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques that Will Blow His Mind by Tess.


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