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Can a Christian Woman Reconcile Her Spirituality with Her Sexuality? When I broached this topic to my professor, who is an ordained minister, her first answer was “no.” She went on to say that the major religions of the Middle East all have problems with the human body. Then she lent me a couple of books by James B. Nelson. I like that he defines sexuality as “loving communion” between human beings. Skimming through the books helped my to put into words what I have come to believe as a Christian woman.
A large amount of Christian doctrine tends to treat the human body as something other than the essential person. There is a separation of the spirit and the body. Much of the anti-sex teachings have their roots in the Gnostic movements in the early Christian church. Even St. Paul made it clear that abstinence was his choice and not necessarily a requirement for all clergy. In fact, for the first three hundred years of the Christian church, celibacy for the clergy was optional. It was from the acetic beliefs of the 4th century that we get the concept of a sexless life which saw the body as evil and only the spirit as good.
Yet it is our sexuality that allows us to relate to the world around us, to relate to others in our world as females. Sexuality is that part of our human-ness that allows to take pleasure in our lives. We take pleasure in the relations we build with friends and family. We take pleasure in the foods we eat and the decorations of our homes. These are all essentially sexual experiences in that they require that we accept this pleasure with all our senses. If you have ever heard an artist speak about the creative process and the pleasure of that creation, you have heard “it was better than sex.” And a part of all that sexuality is sex itself.
Let’s go back to Genesis and the commandments received by Adam and Eve:
And God created . . . every living creature that moveth . . . and God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful and multiply. . . . God said, Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness. . . And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. . . . (So) in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it. . . . And God saw everything that He had made, and, behold, it was very good (Genesis 1:21-26; 2:18; 1:27-31).
Keep in mind, it was not sex that was the sin that drove Adam and Even from the Garden of Eden. It was disobedience. And it was not sex that they discovered, it was the “knowledge of good and evil.”
Throughout biblical history the Creator has given his blessings to human sexuality. After the flood, Noah and his sons and their wives were given the task of populating the earth. Abraham and Jacob were told to be fruitful and were promised that nations should rise from their loins.
God created sex, not Satan! God is the One Who made those sexual organs and every single nerve that feels so good! He's the One Who dreamed up sexual pleasures and bodily contact and God Himself created that marvelous final explosion called the orgasm! (Ward)
How I wish I had said those words. Yet they were said by a nun. Yes, a nun writing about sexuality in our world.
So, why is sexuality so necessary to us as Christians? It is through our sexuality that we experience love. It is with our entire being that we learn to love one another, which is one of the great commandments of Christianity. We take pleasure in one another’s company. We express our love through communication. The sexual act itself is an affirmation of our love for fellow beings and a way of expressing that love. And it is through our love for one another that we can learn to love God.
We can, as Christians, come to learn that sexuality and sex are not anathema to our spiritual beliefs. It is a difficult journey in which we have to learn to distinguish between doctrine and spirituality. When sex enhances life it is a positive force in our spirituality. It brings us into communion with the people around us. It teaches love in the deepest sense of the word. When we learn to love one another, we are also honoring the scripture.
Through a long journey of reading and thinking, I have come to accept that I am a sexual being. I believe that I am endowed by my Creator with that sexuality and if I deny it on any level, I am denying the gifts I was given.
Sources for additional reading:
Nelson, James B. Between Two Gardens: Reflections on Sexuality and Religious Experience. New York, NY: The Pilgrim Press, 1983.
Nelson, James B. Embodiment: An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Publishing House, 1978.
Ward, Benedicta. Christianity and Sex. The Family Dossier. 27 Mar. 2005. .
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