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I am over 40 and I want sex. The last of the kids are off to college and out of the house and we have time to be intimate together again after many years of devoting ourselfs to our kids. My husband seems to think we should slow down a bit. I don't think so. Are there some things I can do to excite him about getting playful again?

Mariann

Dear Mariann,

I can't say that I blame you for wanting sex, especially since the kids are gone and you have that extra time. Maybe by him suggesting that you 'slow things down', he actually means slowing down the sex act in itself. Maybe what use to take 15 mintues, should now take 60!

There are many things you can do to get your man playful again. Remember, men are visual creatures. Have you tried a new nighty lately? How about a sensual dinner, planned around all food you eat with your fingers...or better yet, you could perhaps make it a diner type setting, and you could be the "blue plate special" (example: be sitting on a blue plate, on the table, when he comes home for dinner).

Another way to get him in a relaxed mood is to try giving him a massage when you both retire to the bedroom. Light some candles and select a massage oil with perhaps sandalwood or a spicy scent such a cinnamon...to get his blood moving. If these suggestions do not seem to do the trick..then try the obvious...COMMUNICATION! Talk to your husband about how you feel, and what you desire. I can't imagine any man denying MORE sex. :)

Hope these suggestions help, and please, keep us updated!

Kat :)

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