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Domme Does Not Equal Bitch Sometimes it takes a domme to teach a male what true sexual pleasure is. Whether or not you are into heavy BDSM being the domme can bring a new dimension into your relationship with your significant other.
Being a Domme is not about sex; it is about power, adoration, reverence and appreciation of the female. When you assume the domme role, you will find that your partner will have a shift in attitude toward you. Female Domination is about the celebration of all that is feminine. In a world where we have seen the ability of women to enter the workplace, the military, and all traditionally male occupations, we have not seen a reciprocal invasion of the traditional female role by the male. In ancient Sumeria it was the goddess Inanna who conferred the kingship. It was to the goddesses that Odysseus had to come to learn before he was allowed to return to his home. It is to the goddess to whom men must turn to find that part of themselves they cannot access by themselves alone.
My first contact with the concept of the male pleasuring the female came with watching Blackthorne in Shogun being taught by Mariko the art of pleasuring a woman rather than simply taking his pleasure from her. For someone raised in a “traditional” family in the 1950’s it was a novel concept. Even the “sexual revolution” of the ‘60’s left me questioning if a quick fuck was all there was to loving. Even as late as 1980 I was relatively naïve, but the one simple scene in Shogun peaked my curiosity. Even though sex was intimated in the scene, there was a paradigm shift: women were not the playthings of men; men were meant to pleasure women.
I am not a professional domme. I only play with someone for whom I care. I am also a gentle mistress. I am not into the more extreme forms of BDSM. I do have my crop, cuffs, a few ropes and other paraphernalia. And I have learned to use them. And, depending on the day and mood, I use them. However, the most difficult process is to help my partner understand that his submission to me is a greater turn-on than any sexual contact that could ever take place. I love it when he surrenders his sexuality to my direction. I get wet when he moans with desire and the pain of not being able to relieve himself until I permit it. It is difficult for him to understand that when he surrenders himself to me, allows me to bind his balls, use my paddle on his rear, stroke his penis and still deny his orgasm I am so turned on I can actually orgasm without him ever touching me.
Other dommes have told me that once they convinced their partners to experiment with submission, the men have learned to pleasure their partners more completely. The pleasure of the goddess more than increases their own pleasure. They learn that being submissive gives their mistresses pleasure. They have learned what the goddess has known for centuries: true pleasure comes only when both partners receive and give in equal proportions.
Sometimes it takes the domme to teach the male this pleasure.
© Jewel Scott, as published in Sex~Kitten.net Presents: The BDSM Issue
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