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Men Say Dumb Things "We're (women) our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men."
~ Janeane Garofalo ~
Sometimes it is so easy to blame men. Usually this is because they are to blame. *wink* Men say dumb things.
For example:
Once while lying in bed reading a biography of Marilyn Monroe, I am asked "Are you a lesbian reading that shit?"
I thought, & should have said "No dumb ass, if the person at the center of my reading material is what I have sexual impulses over, it would make me a necrophiliac. *sheesh*" But I didn't. Instead I ignored him, pretending I was too engrossed in my 'erotic love' to hear him. He didn't stop pestering me though. Eventually I had to mumble something about the fact that I was interested in her life story, not in love with her.
But I wonder, if I had replied with my first thought, what would have happened? Maybe I could have read in peace much longer.
Of course, there have been times I replied with my thoughts...
With the same man, years ago in my early 20s... (like once upon a time!)
We lay in bed, I reading a book, he 'reading' a copy of 'Big Uns' borrowed from Al Bundy no doubt, he tries to touch me, you know -- probing for sex in that customary 'you are here...' way.
Obviously, if he has become aroused by a pictorial spread, he's not getting mine. So I ignored him.
He touches, insisting...
"Hey, 'she' got you *there*, 'she' can finish you off!" I say, looking him dead in the eyes.
He is not to be deterred: "But look at her!"
(This is not really his A game, is it?! Sorry to say, it was. Somehow, as all blood rushes to the little head, he 'thinks' this is gonna work!)
I give him that look. You know, 'the look' that says to men & children everywhere "Are you really gonna pursue this?" He flips the glossy bimbette at me. I sigh & look.
"She's trimmed all pretty, just that thin strip right there" he says, as if I am to #1 be impressed, and #2 run & get my razor.
"Funny" I reply, "that she'd do that, yet leave her thighs so furry."
I half expected him to retort that at least they were thinner & more firm, and since her leg hair hadn't been removed, I doubted I could counter with any comments on airbrushing... Instead he looked at Miss Big Uns O' The Month & slowly his eyes dimmed, his jaw loosened... He was turned off!
He rolled over & went to sleep.
So I won that one.
I guess if there is any moral to this, it is that sometimes the stuff you think in your head is the stuff you should say when men say & do dumb shit.
And sometimes a few choice words are worth more than any picture -- even a nudie photo.
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