|
What's in a Name? I have been proud to be a lesbian since I realized I was and came Out to my friends, family, and then society in general. Living where I do, being a proud Out pagan carries more danger than being gay. I thought, with this history of guilt and fear, that I had reached a place where I was no longer afraid to be who I am. I was wrong. What’s In a Name?
Many years ago I came Out as a lesbian. I dealt with the stereotyping, the disdain, and the outright hatred that went along with my announcement. A couple of years later I again came Out; this time as “Pagan with Wiccan leanings”. The response was, if possible, even more negative. I’ve realized something important: we are, all of us, coming Out in some way every single day. We come Out as Muslims, writers, rappers, cross-dressers, manic-depressives, and stay-at-home mothers. What is interesting is how we react to what we are and then how society reacts when we disclose the information to them.
I have been proud to be a lesbian since I realized I was and came Out to my friends, family, and then society in general. Living where I do, being a proud Out pagan carries more danger than being gay. I thought, with this history of guilt and fear, that I had reached a place where I was no longer afraid to be who I am. I was wrong.
About two and a half years ago I stumbled across the terms “transgendered” and “transsexual”. Being a proud queer, I was trying to find out as much about my fellow queers as I could because knowledge really is power. I wanted to be able to answer questions and be a helpful part of the community. Corny, I know, but I was truly earnest in my efforts.
Growing up in Backwater, USA, my exposure to people who were born with mixed sex organs, or who grew up and decided to live as the opposite gender/sex, was limited to “They’re freaks – stay away!” Thankfully my mamma raised me to look below the surface of things and educate myself. So that’s what I started doing. Of course I learned that everything I thought I knew was crap.
Society only gives us two choices as far as sex and gender: Male and Female. Sex refers to the sexual organs (and sometimes the particular types of cells that make up those organs) we are born with. Gender, on the other hand, refers to the societal role we are given/assigned to at birth when our sexual organs are looked at. The gender role starts the moment the doctor slaps us on the ass and says, “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!”
Society as a whole tends to get very nervous when the sex or gender of a person isn’t readily obvious. Witness the derogatory term: “he-she” or any of the other, nastier, names you’ve certainly been exposed to. People don’t always like change. It’s the fear that’s the problem. When you realize you’re different, you may spend your whole life hiding from it because of the fear you feel, or because of the fear you’ll face from everyone else.
Armed with my new vocabulary and knowledge I began to take a real interest in trans folks. I made many friends online and asked many questions about the transitioning process. The more I learned the more drawn to it I was. In a session with my long-time councilor I brought up trans issues in general. I asked her if she had any trans clients. She did. She asked me if this was something we needed to explore. I freaked out and quickly squashed that.
It wasn’t until about six months ago that I found the courage to start really looking at myself and what drew me to transitioning. With my councilor’s help and the support of my friends and family I’ve come Out again – this time as transgendered. I’ve chosen a male name and am referred to as male. As soon as my councilor deems me ready, I will be starting testosterone.
There will be many changes taking place; some physical, a great many more emotional. I plan to share my experiences here at Sex-Kitten so that, hopefully, someone other than myself will benefit from my transitioning.
From here on you will see me referred to as Will or William. I am happy to have you reading, commenting, and asking any questions you’d like to have answered.
| 
Email Article
Print Article
Discuss This (1 Comment)
Del.icio.us
Furl
Technorati
Yahoo! My Web
Reddit
Column Archives
Column RSS Subscription
