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If I were a man, and I wanted to dump some chick, that's what I would do. I would say some romantic things, leave her a special gift, then go off to sea to die.

The whole purpose being that she can feel special - even if I wanted to die, just to get away from her.

I would figure she is a swell gal, and my need to get away is my own issue. Just cuz I wanna be free, there's no need to make her feel bad.

And a good, bittersweet death story, loaded with memories of how damn much I loved her, well, that's the way to do it.

An exit like that *is* worthy of a song.

And chicks dig moody romantic songs. How can they resist one about them?

Sure beats the usual lovely parting gifts, such as you'd find on a game show.

Unfortunately, as I woman, I know of no men who would do such a thing.

Sure, I know 2 or 3 who would lay their lives down for me, but none that would go to such lengths to leave me.

Many of you may not see the difference between the 2 dead guys. A dead guy is a dead guy. As long as he isn't laying there, stinking up the joint, who cares?

Again, I am going to have to go with ‘chicks love songs.'

And even if Brandy's dude left her for another, ‘his love, his life, his lady, is the sea' well, what woman can compete with the sea? She does, however, remain the runner up - the only competition with legs to part - and she is immortalized in song.

Yeah, Brandy got a cool dealio.

It is better to have loved & lost, at sea no less, than to be have things end with a fist to your head.

Remember, even Earl had to die...

So guys, the ones who want to leave me, why not go out in style? Immortalize me in song: Drop dead.

But in a pretty, romantic way, ok?

NOTE: This piece was written awhile ago. Post abuse of first husband. I'm happily married now, & don't let him go to sea...

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