Love Pads and Sexo Caliente

* 1 Mango, pitted and sliced
* 2 Oranges, peeled
* ice
* Orange vodka (Optional)

Instructions:
Put fruit & ice into a blender and liquify. If adding the optional orange vodka, some water may be added to the fruit & ice for a smoother blended drink, and add a shot of vodka to the beverage before you serve.

Besides, when the body fluids are flinging about the room, the sheets (and the curtains... and the carpet... and the ceiling?) need more protection than what a small rectangular pad can provide. According to the package, Love Pads are convenient, discreet and disposable. Well, they are disposable, but what is convenient or discreet about pulling out a bright green plastic cloth, spreading it out on the bed and then trying to keep your genitals on top of it?

But my lover, The Relentless Tease, brought home a new bottle of love potion... one of those sweet, syrupy liquids that gets hot when you rub it in and blow on it. I roll my eyes... they usually taste like crap and oh what a sticky mess!

Sexo Caliente, the bottle says, by Fantasias Latinas. It’s all in Spanish, how very exotic. Mango Y Naranja flavor (that’s mango and orange). I cringe, but the Tease has a way of convincing me to try new things.

Thank the gods I have Love Pads. The new satin comforter will be saved.

Love Pads come in two sizes. I have no idea at all what possible use the smaller size would be. The large size is 19 by 30 inches. Just enough room to rest your hips on, provided you have a narrow butt, and providing protection from mid-thigh to the middle of your back. Don’t plan on doing anything acrobatic, just keep your fluid-producing parts centered on the pad.

One side of the pad is shiny, put that side down against the fabric you want to protect. Let the aqua-colored cloth collect your fluids, then toss the pad away. No wet spot.

The Relentless Tease lifted the bottle and I watched as an orange stream of Sexo Caliente cascaded onto my nipple. I closed my eyes to experience the fragrance…nice. With his fingertip, he rubbed it in and then gently breathed upon it. MMmm, caliente indeed! I was pleased with the diligence he applied to removing the liquid from my nipple, sucking and licking until not a drop was left.

He applied the lotion to various other sensitive parts of my body. I don’t know which I enjoyed more, the sensual rubbing, the sparky hot sensation when he blew on it or the thorough cleaning he performed with his tongue. The lotion left no sticky residue.

Then it was his turn. I started at the small of his back, rubbing the lotion into the skin and trailing it down just into the crack of his ass. And then I watched him shiver as I did a little teasing of my own. I experimented with different blowing techniques. A whistle-blow…a soft puff of air…a long, gasping sigh from my full-open mouth just a centimeter away from his mango-flavored skin. Then I prepared myself for the unpleasant taste and extended my tongue like a Saint Bernard and licked him.

Mmmm!! It tastes really good! I could lick this stuff all day! I couldn’t wait to turn his dick into a mango-orange flavored lollipop, and the security of the Love Pad allowed me to squirt generously over his erection and his balls with wild abandon.

Actually, that’s not true, the Love Pad was completely forgotten by now, for we’d been rolling around quite a bit and propping each other this way and that. I found it the next day, crumpled up at the foot of the bed.

So my lover’s Sexo Caliente sauce was a big hit, but we have no need for disposable Love Pads. I suppose they might come in handy during periods or something, but at $5.00 each I’d just as soon use an old towel we stole from Holiday Inn.

Editor's notes & other comments on Love Pads

Other reviewers who tried Love Pads had the following comments:

Gaëlle: "The best think I can say about this product is that it is the most unromantic product I’ve ever imagined to exist. There’s nothing more pathetic than pausing an intimate moment to lay down a sea-green towel down on the sheets and rubbing around on it as it crinkles and gets in the way. It’s like being at the gynecologist. Personally, I’d rather have messy sheets."

Gracie: "'Tis true this is not the most romantic of items, but it is very practical. As one who spends too damn much damn money on her sheets & bedding in general, I find protection is a requirement. Lubes, flavored lotions (with their bold colors, eek!), and yes, sex while menstruating, all can damage fine linens ~ even reapeated daily washings can ruin lovely things. Rather than say 'no' to sexual adventures, I'll make the bed complete with the Love Pad. It may not be romantic, but let's face it, when you live with someone, this pad serves as an 'X' marking the spot, and he's just happy to know he's getting some ~ again. *wink*"

Merideth: "Easy cleanup. Excellent for traveling & being discreet. (Did I mention we do it when we stay at my folk's house? lol) Also, we've done the old towel thing, but no longer. A few years ago I pitched them all - I hate stained towels after a shower or bath - It makes me feel dirty. Plus, if it is blood, who wants that to lie around on the floor or in a hamper? (And if the kids see a bloody mess, yikes!) A very practical product."

Vixen: "As noted, sex on the rag is a messy proposition. I like the pads for that time of the month - esp as I live in an apartment, and do not like to take bloody towels to public places. Most embarassing."

Please note that Love Pads also come in lavendar, so you can avoid 'medical clinic green' if you want too. *wink*

We do not currently carry Love Pads in our store, but we are working on getting them. For now, please visit their website.