John Waters' A Dirty Shame

Sex is a scary thing: our culture fears sex to such a degree that a movie can be rated R despite a lack of violent acts, showed no sexual intercourse, and had every single swear word overdubbed, bleeped out, and even painted over. This is John Waters' new movie, A Dirty Shame, a film that so accurately satirizes the climate of sexual censorship that the censored version of the movie is part and parcel of it's satire.

The censored edition of the film, readily available on the shelves of Blockbuster Video, is stripped down to a level that would get a violent movie aired on television. Generally, this would be equivalent of PG, maybe PG-13. You can see all kinds of killing on regular television – provided they don't actually show the injuring event itself. The 1980s GI Joe cartoon was notoriously famous for staging large-scale battles, complete with hailstorms of bullets, exploding bombs, and crashing vehicles, resulting in superficial injuries and without a single death...and remained classified as a children's show. Edited-for-television films include quite a bit of lewd, mysogynistic sex -- provided there's no nudity or overt sexuality. Showing violence without showing the act, showing sexualized humans without the sex act: these make for a ready-to-air film. Neutering a Terminator or Mad Max is plenty enough to bring it to the general public. The Neuter version (as it is actually titled) of A Dirty Shame barely got it to R-Rated territory, a realm still unlikely to ever reach even cable television, except for late-night viewings on Comedy Central or the pay movie channels, and the NC-17 badge is unlikely to get it aired anywhere.

A Dirty Shame the story of Sylvia, a happily neuter woman who is revulsed by sexual expression. She, it seems, managed to have sex one single time in her life, concieving a daughter....who has grown up into a (cue ominous music)......SEX ADDICT (BUM Bum buuuuhhhhhhhh).

Having a sexually-addicted daughter isn't the only erogenous form eating at Sylvia's soul. It seems her neighbors are developing their own sexual addictions, from the thong-wearing neighbor taking out the garbage, to the amorous elderly couple making out in their yard, to the friendly household of “bears” down the street. Just as fetishes seem to be closing in all around her, Sylvia is hit on the head, enlightening her to the true nature of her sexual desires. As she approaches the climax of her sexual growth under the guidance of the messianic-devil Ray-Ray, a war develops between the sexually free and the sexually neutered neighbors.

The film unwraps more fear-mongering than Reefer Madness, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, and Orson Wells' War Of The Worlds combined. Neuters are recognizing that sexual deviants aren't a rare few: they're under every rock, in every closet, and the next person they meet might just be one of them. Anyone could be a pervert, and as the film proceeds it reveals that more and more of the neighborhood are 'infected' with their own unique fetish. The horrors of Roman showers, compulsive masturbation, and cunnilingus fall like an inky shadow over the friendly neighborhood, threatening to choke the life out of the law-abiding citizens. Regardless, sexual addiction is not contracted through physical contact nor airborne pathogen; only an accidental hit to the head knocks loose the free sexual consciousness. The unenlightened Neuters find themselves unable to live in a world where sexual identity is understood or expressed, and decide to fight back.

If only the sexual fetishes remained confined to the bedroom as it is in the real world, the society in A Dirty Shame might have remained stable. In Waters' world, however, each character's sexuality is worn with the subtlety of a superhero's costume. The “Bears” (hairy, rotund gay men, for the uneducated) wear flannel and growl suggestively at passersby, the mysophiliac (dirt fetish, the new one I learned from the film) drinks the dingy water from a vase, and Sylvia's exhibitionist daughter wants nothing more than to unleash her massive breasts for anyone who will look at them. The backgrounds and sets can barely contain their own sexual expression as trees, bushes, and other natural formations progressively develop penile and vulvic shapes as the film glides towards a climax.

The sexualization of rather unsexy things (vomiting, pooping, dirt) and things without sexual contact (infantilism, exhibitionism) creates a quandry for censors: if there is no fornication, nor even a sexual partner, how perverse is the scene? Watching Dingy Dave, the mysophiliac, passionately lick the garage floor would not turn on even the most proficient of pornography conniseurs...but he IS getting off from it. The movie reeks with sexuality, yet penises stay repectfully distant from vaginas. The uncut version uses a few “blue” swear words, has some frontal nudity, and describes a few sexual acts in detail, but, really, it pales compared to much of the R-rated dreck that teens rent when their parents aren't home. A “good” R-rated movie actually shows a male and female bouncing on the bed, screaming orgasmically, as the young woman's breasts heave rhythmically with his thrusts. The Waters film shows happy, hairy clothed men smiling and cuddling. The difference is that straight sex is neither shocking nor prurient, regardless of the explicitness.

Really, the humor of A Dirty Shame could lump it in with the American Pies of the world, sexual jokes with a wink and a nudge, but winks and nudges aren't available. Waters inflicts jokes on both sides throughout, setting up both neuters and perverts as the fall guy in a variety of funny situations, leaving neuters naiively wandering through sexless lives and the sexually-obsessed stuck in a focused life of sexual release. By mixing up the humor, the jokes remain fresh and unpredictable: the audience wonders, when the infantilist sneaks into a house and plays baby for a young mother, will she scream and run, or will she change his diaper in stride? Art director Halina Gebarowicz and Waters provide a cartoony, timeless version of Baltimore, visually trapping the world of A Dirty Shame in a caricature of the real world, encouraging the over-the-top experiences of the film by removing the approximation of reality.

There are two large dangers of watching this film: being uncomfortable with the exotic forms of sexual stimulation, or learning something about sexuality itself. The latter is the most productive of the two dangers, and could easily develop into a necessary learning experience for naiive viewers. Don't get me wrong, watching this movie with the kids isn't recommended. However, in a world where the options are to watch rampant infidelity and mysogyny in soap operas, sexual fetishes paraded like a 3-ring circus for the talk-show crowds, innuendo peppered recklessly in sitcoms as though everything sexual is laughable...by comparison, A Dirty Shame isn't all that bad for anybody to watch.

Sadly, much of the film's point is wasted “preaching to the choir.” Those people familiar with Waters' work are unlikely to be Neuters in need of a paradigm shift, and Neuters are unlikely to read the back of the DVD case and think it's worth watching. Those who will benefit from seeing the film are those unable to reconcile their sexuality with the outside world. When you see what a world would be like, pitting the sexualized with the asexual, a starting point for recognizing the middle ground can be reached. Viewers comfortable with the sexuality of others will get the most entertainment from the film, simply by being able to keep up with the frolicking craziness of fetishists unbound. Of the two versions, the NC-17 version is, of course, the better one, but the Neuter version isn't flawed too much. The ending of either version is a bit rough and unexpected, but the ride, from Sylvia's Spam-frying introduction to the conquering army's climactic celebration before the credits, moves quickly and smoothly from a recognizeable world into a cartoony land of sexual release.