I wasn't sure what to expect on this, our first Sex Kitten Travel Adventure, but I knew it wouldn't be dull.
The Sex Kittens hit the Twin Cities last weekend and I was pleased to join them on their crusade to explore the sexiest spots in the Midwest.
Our adventures began with an old-fashioned Sex Kitten pajama party. After the official Naming of the Butt Plug (look for Bobo!), we traded stories of perversion while playing a dirty board game. I was shocked to discover that certain Kittens, having performed acts of such depravity as to make a prostitute blush, still have never kissed a woman. We will have to work on that...next trip perhaps. Still, it was no surprise when our own Libertine emerged victorious as the most perverted of us all. Congratulations, Libby, you beautiful slut. I held my own, Dear Diary. Though I am not the most perverted, I'm not the least perverted either.
On Friday we split up. Suki and I headed north in a rental car, determined to see Lake Superior and a real working lighthouse. We found one in Two Harbors, a little lakeside town just north of Duluth. We bypassed the main highway and enjoyed the scenic route, dotted with cottages along the shore.
Two Harbors Lighthouse hosts a quaint little bed and breakfast along with a small museum and gift shop. We climbed the narrow stairs up into the belly of the lighthouse and peered through the round windows out to the freshwater sea where ships the size of my office building
have sunk, carrying their crew and cargo to doom at the lake bottom miles below the surface. It was a bright sunny day but I could just imagine Superior in her vengeant glory, churning and frothing in a snowy November fog.
Back in Duluth, we had lunch at a trendy lakeside diner surrounded by antique stores and souvenier shops. We visited the Great Lakes Aquarium, the only all-freshwater aquarium in the country. For the money, Underwater Adventures in the Mall of America back in Minneapolis is a far better aquarium experience.
Saturday morning I was up early and set out to find the nearest Starbucks while the other Kittens slept in. I found it in nearby Wayzata, another quaint little lakeside town filled with shops and cafes on the shore of Lake Minnetonka. The lake was filled with boaters, skiers and fishermen, as Minnesotans do love to make good use of their two-month lake season. Minnesota boasts more boats per capita than any other state, one boat for every six people.
When everyone had tumbled out of bed, we set out for SexWorld in downtown Minneapolis. Three floors of erotic delights awaited us, including costumes, toys, videos and live exotic dancers behind glass. Porno movies can be viewed there privately in secluded viewing booths, though I was not brave enough to venture inside of one. They even had a gigantic mechanical penis for our riding pleasure. I left with pockets full of glow-in-the-dark condoms, Liquid Virgin pussy tightening fluid and various lubes and lotions, of which no Sex Kitten can have too much.
Some of us were then ready to hit the Mall--and what a grand thing it is. The Mall of America, the country's biggest shopping mall, is as large as 78 football fields. I could happily get lost for days in there, Diary, and still not see everything. In the center of the mall is a giant amusement park, complete with roller coasters, ferris wheel and bungee jumping.
After an exciting afternoon of shopping, we hurried home to change for the improv theater. Hosted by Brave New Workshop, the show, "Paxton vs. Pullman," was a hoot. The Sex Kittens, seated regally in the front row, enjoyed ourselves despite the oppressive heat.
I had to leave for the airport Sunday morning but I heard rumours that the other Kittens invaded the Science museum's exhibit of grossology and learned lots of interesting things about tapeworms and animal poop. I'm sure sorry I missed that.
Diary, I can't wait for the next trip. Upon which American city will we descend next, and what adventures await there? We managed to complete the tour without the need of a bail bondsman, but will we be so lucky next time?