A Brief Autobiography of a Tranny Chaser
... what makes Me Tick.
Hi, I’m Jon the Founder of URNotAlone and ModelTS. I thought I’d tell you a little something about my background and how I first got involved with the Sites, the Community and the Transgendered World in General and maybe give a little insight into what makes a Tranny Chaser Tick:)
1st let me say that I'm going to use the terms TGirl and Tranny to cover Crossdressers, Transvestites, Transexuals (Pre and Post), Drag Queens and all the other various terms that cover those that are part of the M2F Transgendered Community. I personally feel they’re the most Generic Term that I can use and they’re the terms I personally prefer to use... forgive me if you don't particularly care for either of these terms or don't feel that they cover what I feel they cover.
I know people are going to question this, so let me begin with… My Sexual Preference. I don't identify myself as Gay, I'm obviously not Straight... I like Women and I like TGirls, so... I guess that makes me... Bi-Sexual? Funny, but I'm always asked about this and it’s really the only time I every really try to Define my Sexual Preference, in response to someone asking what it is. Personally, I don’t think Bi-Sexual fits either.
When did I 1st realize that I liked TGirls you might ask. I guess my 1st real recollection of my interest in the Tranny World was way back in High School. I started off High School in the Suburbs but I finished it off in Boston and, as luck would have it, there was a Porno Shop across the street from the
school. One day I got up the guts (I was under 18) to check out the Porno Shop… I entered expecting to look at the “Straight Porn” and discovered the Tranny Section. I had no idea that CD/TV/TS’s existed, this was really my 1st exposure to them and I can’t honestly recall ever having thought about or fantasized about them… I really didn’t know there was such a thing. Of course, at that time, we’re talking back around 1975, there wasn’t a lot of this type of Porn. Regardless, as soon as I saw the magazines with CD/TV/TS’s I knew, it was the section for me. I bought all the magazines they had over the next few months and would keep checking, hoping new ones would arrive. This was before VHS was prevalent or even an option and what little porn they had in the form of movies was in 8mm, so, needless to say, I concentrated on buying whatever magazines became available.
|We decided to marry when I was done with College, she was Pretty, she was Bright, she loved me and I loved her. As the wedding date got closer I actually had some doubts, not so much about her, more about my interest in Trannies.|
At this period in my life I was pretty naïve. Keep in mind, back in 1975, there really was no Internet availability, the few online places you could go for information or to meet people were online BBS’s… this was also the day of dial up and 300 baud acoustic coupler modems. Those of you who don’t remember this, consider yourselves lucky:) Also, none of my friends were gay or transgendered (that I knew of), I grew up in a relatively small town in the suburbs and honestly thought that CD/TV/TS’s were very rare and just assumed that I’d never actually meet one and that they’d just remain fantasy objects in my life.
Over the years I kept purchasing new Tranny Porn as it came out. I also dated numerous Girls, met the Girl of my dreams and we dated for 4 years. We decided to marry when I was done with College, she was Pretty, she was Bright, she loved me and I loved her. As the wedding date got closer I actually had some doubts, not so much about her, more about my interest in Trannies. During this period I discovered that there was a Drag Bar north of Boston, (long since gone), called the Green Apple. I eventually got up the nerve to visit it. I was nervous as hell, intrigued, but, very disappointed in what I found. The Trannies that were in the bar were strictly the Performers and they weren’t CD/TV/TS’s as I knew them, merely Drag Queens, very flamboyant and my impression was that they dressed strictly to perform (and looked like that’s the only reason they dressed). I didn’t get the nerve to talk to any of them and never went back. It was a real disappointment for me.
I continued frequenting Porno Shops in the Combat Zone in Downtown Boston and in various cities when traveling, buying more Tranny Porn as I found it, including VHS now that it was readily available and we had a VCR, keeping it hidden away and my wedding day got closer. We eventually go married, everything was wonderful. I cared for her, she cared for me and things were going well. Eventually (it’s a long story, the details of which I won’t go into) my wife found my porn collection. We sat down and talked, I told her of my interest in Trannies, how I always fantasized about being with one. Things actually went ok with the relationship, we even watched some of the Video together on occasion.
Around this time they started having “Shemales” in the booths in the Porno Shops… advertised as “The Best of Both Worlds”:) I’d visit the booths to see the “Shemales” and eventually one of them told me about Jacques Cabaret, a Tranny Bar in Boston.
Shortly after being told about Jacques, I found myself teaching a Software Class a block from the Bar and, nervous as hell, went in after the class was over. It was really early, around 5pm and the bar was pretty empty. I grabbed a seat at the front bar, ordered a drink and noticed an absolutely gorgeous TGirl sitting alone at the back of the bar. She must’ve noticed that I couldn’t stop glancing over at her, came over to sit next to me at the front of the bar and started talking. I bought her a drink, she made me feel very comfortable and later that evening I gave her a lift home. She was of mixed Hawaiian/African American Descent, a Pre-Op TS, a real Sweetheart and she was Stunning. I won’t go into details, let’s just say it was a wonderful experience for me that night and it was everything I had hoped it would be. For quite some time after, I’d sneak in to see her whenever I could. We saw each other for a year or so when my wife figured out that something wasn’t right. I confessed all and actually introduced them to one another. They became very good friends and that ended my relationship with her as she really liked my wife and her friendship with my wife became more important to her.
Our marriage was starting to go downhill at this time, my fault as I was feeling more and more drawn to TGirls and just couldn’t get it out of my system. I really wanted to have a relationship with a TGirl and it was becoming an overpowering urge on my part.
Eventually we separated, got back together, had a daughter, tried to make things workout and inevitably we wound up divorced. The divorce was the result of my Intense Attraction to TGirls.
The only way I can really explain my attraction to TGirls is like this… if you were to take 2 Identical Girls and put them in front of me… same size, same shape, same face, same personality and one of those Girls had a Cock, the other a Pussy, I’d be drawn to the one with the Cock. There’s just something that drives me wild about a Pretty Girl with a Cock. The interesting thing, and I’ve given this a lot of thought, is that I’m not at all interested in Post-Op Transexuals sexually. As a matter of fact, sexually, my preference leans towards CD’s and TV’s as opposed to Transexuals, Pre or Post Op:)
Having said that, I moved into the city after the divorce and started going to Jacques Cabaret on a regular basis. I never really met anyone that was more than a one night stand until about a year or so after my divorce. That’s around the time I noticed a Girl who always came in with 2 or 3 other Girls. They didn’t really speak that much other than amongst themselves and mostly spoke in Spanish. She was gorgeous and I was smitten with her. I’m a pretty shy person and really have a hard time walking up to someone and starting a conversation… especially if I’m attracted to someone… I just get tongue tied. Eventually, after about 6 months of seeing her in the bar, I visited another bar (that no longer exists) called Playland after Jaques closed. It was there that a mutual friend brought the Girl I had been drooling over for 6 month over to my table and introduced her to me… her name was Vicky. We talked, hit it off fairly well, went to Chinatown for a bite to eat after the bar closed and I went home with her that night. We’ve been together every since… we’re in our 15th year together now and… I’m still smitten with her:)
Vicky and I moved in together and around this time I really wanted to learn how to develop a website. I was trying to think of a Topic to develop it around as I’m the type of person that needs there to be a purpose to the things that I work on. One of my friends suggested that I develop a website listing Drag Bars around the country, as I was traveling quite a bit at this time and knew most of the Drag Bars in most of the major cities I visited… San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, Dallas, Orlando, etc. I know it was really tough for me to find them and not always easy places to find, so, I thought about it and it clicked… it was a great idea and it gave me a real goal.
I figured, this would be a way to help other Admirer’s, like myself, to find the Bars where TGirls hung out, give them an opportunity to meet the Girls and hopefully, prevent a few people from making some of the same mistakes I did. If
I had known where to go or if there had been Tranny Sites available when I was younger, I would have realized sooner that there were TGirls out there and that it was possible to have a relationship with a TGirl. As I mentioned earlier, I honestly had no idea they were out there and thought I’d never meet any.
|We should do whatever it is that makes us Happy and Satisified with our existence for the short time that we have. You can spend all your time pleasing others but if you don’t spend any time pleasing yourself you’ve pretty much guaranteed yourself a pretty miserable existence.|
Now that I had the Goal, I started URNotAlone towards the tail end of 1995 and it began as a Site that listed various Drag Bars in various Cities around the Country. I’d take a camera with me when I traveled and take pictures of the TGirls in the various bars I visited to put up with the Bar’s Listing. It started to get pretty popular and I added a section dedicated to the Girls of Jacques Cabaret, both the Performer and the TGirls who hung out there. I wound up adding a section for my Girlfriend Vicky and would update it fairly often as well as a section for our pet Green Iguana, Mongo (who’s since passed away).
There was another site I always loved that Susanna Marques put together. It was pretty much a text based site containing an extensive listing of TGirl Sites on Geocities (thank you Susanna). I started thinking, wouldn’t it be nice if there were a site like this that also showed pictures of the Girls. I started contacting some of the Girls who’s sites I had found from Susanna’s site to see if they’d like to list a Profile on URNotAlone. It started off very slowly but as time went by and the site began to get fairly well known, Girls were requesting Profiles pretty frequently.
URNotAlone (URNA) started to get pretty busy and a couple of years into it I started toying with the idea of doing an Adult Tranny Site as URNotAlone wasn’t and wasn’t intended to be Adult in nature. One of my close friends from Jacques was running an Adult Tranny Site and she was doing extremely well well with it. There were very few Adult Tranny Sites around this time (we’re talking 1998) and I thought it would be a great area to get into… I mean, I love Tranny Porn, I knew all the local Girls in Boston, I’d get to seem the Au Natural… it seemed like a perfect fit. Little did I know how much work it was going to be.
It took me another year and in the fall of 1999 I started asking some of the local Girls if they’d be willing to do Adult Photoshoots. I started off using a Photographer to do the Shoots for me. I’d be there during the Shoot to tell her what types of shots I wanted her to get, etc. and in December of 1999, ModelTS went live. I wasn’t all that happy with the pictures, I hated having to scan them in so I decided to get a Digital Camera and try doing the Photoshoots myself. It was a learning experience, let me tell you. It took quite some time to get decent pics from the Photoshoots, to figure out Lighting, etc. Vicky helped with the Sets as the backgrounds were pretty bad in the beginning and, then it was a very slow process getting it found and waiting for the membership to build. I was actually very disappointed, I had thought it would be an instant success, especially since I had URNotAlone as a place that I could promote it. Not only that, URNA was starting to get pretty expensive to run and I really needed the income from the Adult Content to keep URNA going.
Slowly but surely ModelTS got to the point where it was bringing in enough money to pay for itself. URNA was getting extremely time consuming, as was ModelTS. Between my day job and the 2 Sites I found myself working 80+ hours per week. This went on for quite some time and eventually it just got to be too much for me. I was getting ready to throw in the towel because I just couldn’t keep up. Both sites were hard coded html and even minor changes required quite a bit of work. It was getting to the point where I’d have to manually build 10 to 20 new profiles, make changes to existing profiles, etc., every day on URNA, plus I had to edit Photos and Videos for ModelTS. I actually go to the point where I put up a notice on URNA that I’d be discontinuing the site and was willing to talk to anyone who wanted to take it over and keep it going. I did not want to just shut it down as it meant so much to so many people.
Around this time, Dan, praise Dan:-), sent me an eMail offering his assistance… gratis. Some of the TGirls he new from the clubs in Ohio knew he did web development for a living and asked if he could help me out and keep me from shutting down URNotAlone. We corresponded a bit, Dan showed me a mock-up of what he had in mind... I was ecstatic. He totally redesigned the site, bringing it from a static, hand coded site to what you see today, a data driven site that takes all the drudgery out of maintaining and updating it. Not only that, we added an Articles Section, Forums, Chat Rooms, tons of different ways to locate the growing number of Profiles within the site and lots more.
Once the URNA redesign was complete and Dan and I decided we made good Partners and would continue working together as Partners we decided it made sense to merge ModelTS into URNA, partially to consolidate our Hosting Companies from 2 into 1, partially to put them both on the same hardware and partially to integrate the Models Profiles into the Profile section of URNA. ModelTS now no longer exists as a separate site but is now a pretty Massive section within URNotAlone.
So, that’s pretty much a summary of my life up to know. Now for a few general thoughts.
It’s actually kind of funny how many people come up to me and say things like… “I wish I was you, you get to Photograph all these Gorgeous TGirls” or “You lucky guy, you know all the Girls”, etc. The thing is… the Photoshoots were fun in the beginning… it was great to have all these Gorgeous TGirls reveal All for the pictures and videos, but, the reality is, after awhile it really does become work, hard work. You have to concentrate on getting the right images, getting the lighting right, then there’s the Photo Editing, the Video Capture and Video Editing… it’s a Ton of Work.
For all you Admirer’s out there. If you like TGirls, don’t question it, be happy that you know this. Don’t worry about what other people think, I know this is the concern of most Admirer’s that I know. Honestly, I’ve told Family, Friends and Co-Workers about my Lifestyle and they all know Vicky and I’ve never once had a negative reaction, not one.
We live once, many people are never happy with their lives, they wish they could’ve done this or could’ve done that or that they could’ve met this person or that they could’ve met that person, if you don’t pursue your interests now, if you’re not true to yourself now, you’ve pretty much wasted your time here and it’s a pretty short time. I don’t believe in a God and I don’t believe in an Afterlife, that’s just me. My personal feelings are that we should do whatever it is that makes us Happy and Satisified with our existence for the short time that we have. You can spend all your time pleasing others but if you don’t spend any time pleasing yourself you’ve pretty much guaranteed yourself a pretty miserable existence.
There are all kind of TGirls out there, CD’s, TV’s, TS’s Pre and Post Op and every flavor in between. There are wonderful TGirls, there are Bitches… there are Short ones and Tall ones, Smart Ones and not so Smart Ones, Black and White, Latin and Asian Ones, there is as much chance to find happiness with a TGirl as there is with a Genetic Girl and if TGirls are what you prefer than be true to yourself, admit it to yourself, be comfortable with yourself and try to find the one that you can settle down and build a relationship with. They’re not Toys, they’re not a Diversion, they’re real, caring people like you and like me. I know it can work, as I mentioned, I’ve been with Vicky for 15 years now and plan on spending my life with her.
I know I’ve rambled quite a bit and this has been kind of all over the map. I guess my whole point in this was to try to give others some insight into what makes an Admirer or Tranny Chaser (I love that term:) tick. I hope someone out there finds this imformative or useful in some way and you’re always welcome to send me an eMail via: firstname.lastname@example.org to ask me questions, call me a Jerk or whatever:)