Betti's Buttussy and Soccer Ball Bang

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What's so funny? Trying to find the humor in run-of-the-mill sex...

I think a lot of things are funny. Men in pornography are funny. Blowup dolls (regardless of their gender) are funny. The vagina-fart is funny. The amateur section in Playgirl Magazine? Fucking hilarious. But sex, regular run-of-mill sex? Funny? I dunno.

I guess I could talk about the guy in college that I had sex with a handful of times- the one who would wear Nike sandals and socks to bed and (get this) had a Nike symbol tattooed to his body- that was amusing, or we could relive the day that I shot a bloody speculum out of my vagina at the gyno’s (I could so have a career in ping-pong balls), or maybe the night the hubby wanted to try using animal noises during foreplay (he was the cow I was the sheep...Moo...Baa), or even the time that me and the ex-love-of-my-existance made a homemade porn and then when we watched it I noticed that he was checking himself out in the mirror the whole time- so Paris Hilton.

Those instances were humorous, but maybe only to me. Kind of one of those, “You had to be there to appreciate it” types of things.

I mean, if you think about it, what isn’t funny (and kinda gross) about some pasty, hairy-assed man flexing his wimpy butt muscles, humping some chick who’s making these noises that could easily be mistaken for the sounds you make when extremely motion sick, until he finally whispers something weird like, “Take that, Doggie” and shoots strings of snot from his dick into her pubic hair... That’s the reality behind many a bedroom door. Hmm... on second thought, that’s not really funny at all. In fact, it’s rather sad. Sad and a little disturbing.

I’m sure that everyone has a personal sex-story that they find amusing, and I’d bet my Rabbit Pearl that most people who heard about it would find it sick instead of funny.

Yeah, my girlfriend and I may yuck it up that she fucked her boyfriend on his wife’s granite countertop--hence smearing buttussy juice everywhere (buttussy = ass and pussy). But to most, that story would make them cringe. On the other hand, just saying the word “buttussy” should make you laugh so hard you pee yourself and forget all about the reference to adultery.

So the question is, “Is sex funny”. Of course it’s funny, or we wouldn’t have a whole issue of Sex-Kitten devoted to it. But is what’s funny to me, funny to you? Who knows. If you want a sex-related chuckle, grab a few girlfriends and head down to a “normal” bookstore like Borders and buy a Playgirl Magazine. Make sure you make the male cashier that looks like he hasn’t gotten laid in years physically show you and your friends where to locate the magazine and then follow him back to the register with it.

Buy the mag and then pile into your car and read it front to back in the parking lot. Make up your own dialogue for the photo spreads. The best? The amateur pages. A few years back there was this guy who used to dress up in knee socks and stick things like soccer balls up his ass. Priceless.

Now that shit is funny.

Other than that, to each his own in the humor department. Happy Fucking, and oh, if you’re wondering if the guy with the Nike regalia is the same guy with the Nike regalia that you fucked in college too, I would say that we could safely assume that the answer is yes.

He was a beautiful, beautiful man-whore. Was he not?


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Betti Mustang's Room

Betti Mustang is a word-nerd, tattooed, has her clitoris pierced, is hopelessly addicted to caffeine and is one hell of a 9-ball and Texas Hold 'em player. She is rumored to be fantastic in bed. You can find our more at her blog.

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