"A Rose By Any Other Name..."
Written a couple years ago, these are still Ina's views on the general issue of women and pornography.
“A Rose By Any Other Name…”
Porn. Erotica. Smut. Anyway you name it, it’s still about what turns somebody on. Why our society has such extreme issues with the idea that humans LIKE to be turned on in many different ways is a wonder to me. Some types are considered less “offensive” and more acceptable – like if you say “I write erotica” versus “I write smut” there is a very different reaction in your listener. Some types infer more visual stimulation of an explicit manner (pornography) while others seem to hint at that same explicit sex with words and dance their way around it tantalizingly (erotica). All I know is, as I get older and have more knowledge about my body and what I enjoy, I like it all more and more.
I’m the first woman to admit that the majority of “porno films” are insidiously boring to me. The same images, over and over, with nothing really to grab my interest unless there happens to be something new I’ve not seen before. For the most part it’s the same-old, same-old and the guys are usually really unattractive while the women are blatantly not born-with-those-assets real women. Ho hum. Boring. Give me more images that I don’t get in magazines and on TV day in and out…and while you’re at it? Give me a decent looking guy who ISN’T hung like a horse (scary!). How many times can you watch a lick-her, fuck-her, fuck-her-ass, cum-on-her-belly (tits/ass/etc) series of shots over and over. Blatantly made for men. As women we don’t much care about “money-shots” (those shots of semen spurting out onto a woman’s body/face). We don’t really care to see the same shots over and over at all. Give us something more interesting than that since we all KNOW that women’s brains are mostly responsible for getting us all worked up. But on occasion, yes those same things that turn men on (the purely visual aspects) will actually make women, yes us, sit up and take notice too. I recently became enamored of one porno “starlet” simply because she’s really cute in a “reminds me of my best friend in high school” way. I’ve found myself watching porn that she’s in and loving it. Love watching it with a partner too – he’s thrilled that I’m willing to watch porn and is even happier that it really gets me going if this particular girl is in it. Now it’s not my “turn on” of choice by any means…but it makes for a very fun weekend night. (Not to mention the reaction one can get by taking “pornographic” photos of oneself and giving them as a gift…but that’s another column!)
My choice of turn on in this vein is, of course, the written word. Erotica or Smut, call it what you will (and depending on your view, you’ll call it either or both). I can remember hiding away my mom’s copy of “Princess Daisy” as a kid because I knew there were steamy passages in it that I, as a child, was NOT supposed to read. Looking back on it, it was no better than a bad romance novel BUT to the pre-adolescent that I was, it was the first foray into words making me feel things I’d not been aware of before. I had gotten some “strange” feelings reading the comics in my dad’s Playboy’s (remembering a couple in particular that really started me to think about just what it was that men and women did together…and on occasion what women and women did together! Heeheehee) But it wasn’t until reading the forbidden sections of that novel that I understood that words held a wonderful power. After “Princess Daisy,” I got my hands on every Judy Blume book I could including the “adult” novel of her’s called “Wifey.” Small longings were started then that only got stronger over the years. In high school I would masturbate while reading poetry from e.e.cummings (one of the best erotic poets out there, if you ask me). In college and after I would become putty in the hands of a date who would whisper in my ear what they wanted to do to me, with me, later but it never effected me as much as receiving a note or a letter that said the same things. Funny thing is that it’s always been the so-called erotica that got me. The pure “smut” – those blatant descriptions of who is doing what to whom when – never really did it for me. It is the overlay of romance, of love, of longing, of desire, that set the words on fire in me and make me incredibly horny. Smut is good, it’s even VERY good – don’t mistake me there. There are times when reading intense smut makes me want to just find someone and get fucked NOW! But it’s those lovely passages and flowery descriptions that make this die-hard romantic just melt inside. The written word as a turn on shouldn’t’ be a surprise to anyone who finds themselves reading online erotica sites regularly either…how nice that there are often sexy images included with our words, no?
Porn, Erotica and Smut – all good, healthy (well mostly), human pursuits. The reasons I find all three terms/ideas so fascinating is hat they all turn me on to some degree but more so? That no matter what, one or the other can turn on just about anyone. And dammit – in these strangely sexually repressed times being turned on is a wonderful thing. It brings a spring to our step, a sparkle to our eyes, and a bit of dampness to our loins – how can that be bad?