American Men Have Poor Geography Skills
They just don't have the lay of the land *wink*
I was speaking the other day with a woman who does not live in the USA, and she said, most apologetically, that she did not know where the state I lived in is located. I had to giggle because as any non-US person will tell you, we Americans know little about geography ~ and virtually nothing of world geography. This lack of knowledge is part of the reason we Americans are called 'Ugly American'
In fact, American males are the worst offenders in this area. Ask an American male where France, Iraq or Prague is, and they'll say 'over there' with some sort of shrugging motion, to indicate it's not that important. Force them to show you on a globe or a map of the world, and they'll stab at it, jabbing as if geography is not a knowledge learned, but more like a game of pin the tail on the globe. (With our current President, it's more like Pin The Asshole on the Country with Oil, but I think you see my point.)
Really geography isn't the only problem. We Americans know little about the places we stab at with our fingers. We say we hate the French, without being able to say anything about French people. Men tend to think they know everything ~ or at least believe they know 'enough.'
American women may not know exactly where a country is on the map, but we can generally articulate something about the people, the culture of the country. When presented with a non-American person, we ask questions to learn about their country, their ways. We women enjoy learning all we can about others. However, American men believe if there was anything important to know about another country, they'd know it. Their ignorance isn't just a lack of knowledge, it's an attitude problem.
But what's this got to do with sex?
Men, American men anyway, are similar in approach to their knowledge of the female anatomy. When it comes to sex, some men are willing to look at a map. They'll grab a book, research something on the Internet, and decide they now know where the g-spot is located ~ so they can poke at it. But any woman will tell you, once you've seen (or poked) one, you haven't seen (or poked) them all.
But men need more than a map. They need to understand the culture of that land. They need to listen to women as we tell our stories & give directions that include more than just "turn right at the labia." Even if all women enjoyed the same parts of their anatomy with the same intensity, most women require more than a single poke or jab. And who's to say repeated jabs in the same spot are any better either?
When it comes to sex, it requires more than a basic knowledge of the geography ~ it requires an interest in the inhabitants.
When you travel to other countries, if you wish to 'go native' and have the whole experience, you'll eat exotic foods, participate in local rituals, & if allowed into sacred spaces you'll be expected to behave in specific ways ~ no matter how strange they seem to you. And what is expected in France is not what is expected in Prague etc. etc. etc.
Women dedicate themselves to gaining this knowledge all the time. We learn quickly how many licks to get to the center of his tootsie-pop. We know if we want to enjoy the view from the top ~ or the bottom, if that's how we like the lay of our land ~ what we need to do to make this work for him too.
Men, American men especially, ought to be open to learning more about women than just the aerial view of inlets & mountain ranges. They need to find out from the folks that live there what the customs & expectations are. Perhaps you need to travel to the mountain first, before you enter the cave of mystery & eternal delight. Or maybe you can start at the cave, but you'd better be able to participate in the native ritual before you deposit your offering!
As women each of us has our own culture, our own landmarks male travelers simply must visit. If men don't pay attention to local custom, we'll escort them to the border & stamp their passports in such a way that they may not gain reentry.
This article previously ran in my column Amazing Gracie: Her Body Of Work at For The Girls dot com