Fun & Frivolous St. Patrick's Day Stuff

1.) Combine gin and chartreuse into a martini shaker with cracked ice.
2.) Shake well
3.) Strain into a chilled martini glass
4.) Garnish with olive

If your dreams of dirty leprechaun sex don't pan out, perhaps, you'd like discuss midget porn with Porn-Opine?

Or, you can just giggle at our jokes!

One fine day in the woods...

One great day, man was walking in he woods. Suddenly, the man hears a rustling in the bushes. He peeks over the bush and sees a short man dressed all in green dancing around and singing.

"Holy shit" the man says "That's a Leprechaun , I gotta grab him so I can get my three wishes!"

So the man pounces on the Leprechaun and says "Gotcha, now give me my wishes!! I want Cindy Crawford in my bed every morning, A million dollars given to me everyday for the rest of my life, and immortality."

The Leprechaun says "Ah, Those are some hard wishes, for me to grant them I'll need you to let me bone you up the ass!!!"

The man thinks for a second and says "All right, I'll do it for those things." So, the Leprechaun mounts him and starts going to town.

The man says, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

The Leprechaun says, "I can't believe it either!"

The man replies, "You can't believe I'm actually letting you bone me too huh?"

"Not exactly," The Leprechaun says, "I just can't believe you really think I'm a Leprechaun!!!"

Irish Joke: The Confession

Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Irish Father, "Irish father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me."

The Irish Father said, "Tell me who the lady was." The lad said he couldn't do that and the Irish Father said he couldn't grant him forgiveness unless he did.

"Was it Mollie O'Grady ?" asked the Irish Father."

"Was it Rosie Kelly?"

"Was it that red-headed wench Tessie O'Malley?"

"Well then," said the Irish Father, "You'll not be forgiven."

When the lad met his friend outside the friend asked, "So, did you find forgiveness." "No," said the other, "but I picked up three good prospects!"

Another Confession

As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business. Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church, which she had always attended as a child.

In the confessional Irish Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Irish Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and backflips.

Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies. They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other: "Will you just look at the penance irish father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on!"

Not Irish, But...

Sent to us by Jake1, this is too cute not to share ~ and it does have plenty of green! :p