Cotton Sheets, Kiddos, Cotton Sheets

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From start to finish, cotton percale sheets are perfection.

For clarity, Gracie is talking about cotton percale bedding. And thread counts count! Bedding with a count of 240 or higher, Egyptian or other quality cotton, & you are in heaven. Crisp, smooth, clean & ready to take a pounding.

Before the act:

Fashion Sense:

Cotton sheets come in a rainbow of colors, so you can find one to best accent the color of your walls, your duvet, your skin. You can play up grandma's quilt, your satin finish paint, your eyes, your labia ~ Every shade imaginable is available. And, for those who prefer a custom look, you can dye your bedding. High quality cotton bedding doesn't use poly or poly blend threads ~ not even in the seams ~ for a flawless color.

Jersey & satin are not easy to dye & well, let's just say I'd prefer to spend my time with bedding in a much more pleasing manner.

Climb on in:

If you plan on getting into bed to have your sex, satin is your enemy. If you wear anything slinky, your not-so-innocent dive into the covers will leave you deposited on the floor on the other side, or worse, if your bed is contained by a wall!

Jersey has a fuzz which may fool some of you into thinking it is warmer than it is. Some find this delightful. I do not. Jersey is also a lazy & loose excuse for a bedding fabric. It will sag around you. Some folks fool themselves into thinking this is comfy & cozy. But really it just slumps around you, tangles & sticks to you, & gets in the way.

Cotton sheets have a crisp yet soft texture. They welcome, yet they are not as lovely as say human flesh. The contrast heightens one's awareness of skin to skin contact.

During the act:

Get a grip:

Having been in more than one position, on more than one occasion, that requires a bit of balance, cotton is the one to go with here. Jersey slips & stretches, and satins slips as already mentioned.

Having been in more than one situation, on more than one occasion, that requires a bit of griping of the sheets purely for some reflexive action (you know what I mean ~ you grab handfuls of the sheets along with your curling toes, moans & Oh!s). Cotton is the way to go here too.

Cotton can take the rough treatment. Satin snags very easily. Too easily. Jersey snags as well, and far too often with jersey, one snag turns into a hole. Ick.


The Wet Spot. Nothing absorbs like cotton. Sure, it's still a damp spot on the bed, but with the other bedding options, it remains a puddle for hours longer. And when the joy of wetness, the proof of your orgasmic sex does dry, cotton sheets do not tell your secrets. Those with satin sheets will have a mark that makes one roll over in the morning, spy it, & feel the need to wash it all immediately.

Other body fluids after you've had sex include sweat. Cotton breathes, the others do not. A sweaty male can tolerate a crisp cotton sheet draped across part of his person as she lays next to him, ready to snuggle in for the night. Try that with a satin of jersey sheet & the couple will be arguing about why he doesn't want to be anywhere neat her after sex, let alone cuddle.

Taking the night off:

Even the night when there is no sex, cotton reigns supreme. For neither other fabric breathes as well.


Satin is cold, & remains cold for quite some time. Even when you warm one spot, the rest of the bedding remains cold enough to wake a sleeping person when they roll over or change position.

As jersey doesn't breathe, it becomes coy & clingy & rather uncomfortable. It's like sleeping with someone's damp dirty tee shirts in your bed.

Cotton percale sheets, on the other hand, are cool at first, but quickly heat up with your own body heat. They also breathe well, and allow for extra heat & moisture to escape so you are not too hot &/or damp at night.


Satin sheets in summer are more like an old fashioned weight loss method. They stick & cling heavily to your body, and again, since they don't absorb, they leave you slick with sweat too. Jersey also doesn't breathe. There you are, so hot, laying on this fuzzy, hair collecting, partially plastic 'fabric' hearing the tick tick tock of the nightstand clock. All night long.

Cotton feels cool even on a hot day. Its crisp texture feels cooler & since it breathes, heat is allowed to escape.

Even if you have an air conditioner or central air, if your sheets are made from synthetics, you have zero breath-ability. At best, you have winter conditions alternating with heat flares, in some macabre Karate Kid dance of "sheets on, sheets off." You can avoid this with cotton percale bedding.

Clean Up Time:

Cleanup & other practical matters:

Cotton sheets wash easily & well. Cotton percale bedding can even stand up to stiletto heels (at least for the 20 minute tests I have done). Go ahead & try that with your satin &/or jersey bedding. Snag, snag, hole, snag. And, again for those of us who tend to claw in bed, cotton can take all we can dish out, fingernails & jewelry, without a snag or a pull. Jersey & satin look worse than your partners' backs.

In a home with pets, cotton sheets actually do not get marred by pet claws & toenails as satin & jersey do, nor does it collect the hairs of your pets, as jersey does.

A sobering thought for those who claim they have no pets & therefore no worries: all hair clings to & becomes woven into the jersey ~ i.e. your own body hairs, the hairs of your partners... yes, even the short & curly ones. Look closely at your "fuzzies" ~ those are fabric pills & new "woven fabric additions," aka hair. Do those extra hairs add to your "warm & cozy" feelings? Not me.

Silk satin sheets feel yummy, and can breath a bit better than polyester satin, but silk must be dry cleaned. And the dry cleaner can't do anything about those snags.

Polyester satin sheets actually feel scratchy against the skin. Repeated machine washings make this more noticeable & uncomfortable. If you have pets, forget about any satin bedding looking like anything other than what the cat, or dog, dragged in. Ditto if a clawer like me is there. Satin is snag city.

** Unless you treat your bedding as a condom, one use only & toss it out, quality cotton bedding is a bargain. **

In short this is what your bedding says about you:

Satin promises, but doesn't deliver. The tease. Satin lovers want to appear seductive & sensual. But like a high-maintenance woman who won't have sex because it messes her hair, you've got hot looks & the cold shoulder. Satin is about as exotic & fun for the senses as a plastic flower.

Jersey is too sluggish & content to care if anything ever happens. Jersey lovers wish to appear cozy, relaxed and comfortable. But like a person married to their sweatpants, there's just a lazy slump factor that ruins the mood. Jersey is about as pretty & alluring to the senses as a wet blanket.

Cotton lovers are crisp, cool & confidant. We may stick to the basics, but in bedding only. We know that it's not all about first impressions & hot looks all the time. But there has to be more to a person than some sloppy comfort zone. We can get down & dirty, and then clean up real nice too. We can comfort you on a dark & lonely night, but we won't be some clingy annoyance either.

Cotton my not seem fancy, refined, or the latest fad, but then the act of sex isn't either. It's just the practical, comfortable, realistic option for those of us who spend more time doing things in bed than talking or dreaming about it.


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