|
Controversy is Libby's middle name. It's safe to say that I'm no stranger to controversy, and in fact, I gravitate towards it. If people are compliant, I want to shake them up and irritate them. If there's a wrong thing to say, I want to say it. As you can imagine, this behavior has cost me a lot of friends, jobs, and much of my sanity over the years, but I can't see myself being any other way. Controversy, to me, is what makes life interesting. Choosing a job in the sex industry may be controversial enough, but being a feminist who chooses to do so immediately makes me a walking argument. Most feminists assume women in this industry are victims of sexual abuse or working against their own will. Hell, even non-feminists believe this. They are incorrect, but arguing against this commonly held belief almost seems useless. People don't want to believe that sex work is a choice. Like abortion. Like having children. Like smoking. I chose to fuck men for money and I liked it.
Nowadays, I tend to work more mainstream jobs where I must keep my previous employment a secret or otherwise risk being ostracized. Occasionally I will mention my previous work in porn (as a crewmember, so it's technically safe), but am usually greeted with wide eyes, open mouths, and either curiosity (from men) or disdain (unfortunately, more from women). Though I can understand these polar opposite reactions to this line of work, they often frustrate me. Why must my female peers constantly judge me for a choice I wanted to make? Because it involves sex.
Though all us ladies here at SK are seemingly enlightened on the topic of sex, in the real world, most women are not as comfortable. Though I have female friends that talk openly about their sexual escapades and whatnot, when it comes to the topic selling sex, things get uncomfortable. With men, I can be more open, but only if I know them very well. As normal as sex work seems to me, in everyday life it is still a taboo topic, one that is commented upon and judged constantly by others, but always in the negative. Sex is such a positive thing for so many of us, but those who get paid for it are always viewed as 'the other.'
I am not 'the other.' I am just like anyone else.
So maybe my controversial lifestyle choice has created a life of turmoil for me, one that I was well aware of from the beginning. It's not the only source of such conflict in my life...one could argue that just about everything I do could be a source of controversy, whether it be my choice of dogs, my decision not to have kids, what I wore that day, how I looked at someone, whatever. Someone wants to argue and it's not always me. After awhile, it gets a little tiring. As much as I thrive on it, I still feel controversy is often unnecessary. These are, after all, choices one wants to make in life and whether it be sex work, abortion, gay marriage, the death penalty, etc., the controversy usually stems from another person's moral values. Given that everyone has different sets of values and beliefs, it is whether or not we feel a need to push those beliefs on others that we create a controversy.
So, you see, my choices in life may be upsetting to some people or immoral to others, but they are not necessarily values I would impose upon others. So what makes a controversy? If nobody argues, there is no conflict. It is usually within ourselves and our own boundaries that something becomes controversial. With that, we must realize to others, sometimes what makes us upset is normalcy to others.
|
Email Article
Print Article
Discuss This (12 Comments)
Del.icio.us
Furl
Technorati
Yahoo! My Web
Reddit
Column Archives
Column RSS Subscription
