It's All "Ticky Tacky" - Sex~Kitten.net

Little boxes on the hill side, little boxes made of ticky tacky.
Little boxes, little boxes, little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky, and they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses all went to the university
Where they were put in boxes, little boxes, all the same.
And there's doctors and there's lawyers, and there's business executives
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course and drink their martini dry
And they all have pretty children and the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp and then to the university
Where they all get put in boxes and they all come out the same.

And the boys go into business and marry and raise a family
In boxes, little boxes, little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

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Words and music by Malvina Reynolds
Copyright 1963 by Schroder Music Co.
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“Little Boxes” hit the charts just about the time I was heading off to college. (Yes, I’m that old…but I’m not dead.) Malvina Reynolds wrote the song about Levittown, PA. All the houses in town did look the same: the yards were all similar and the people only hung laundry out to dry on specific hangers and on specified days. If the residents let their grass get too long, Levitt sent out gardeners to mow it and then sent the residents a bill. The song described not only how the houses looked the same, but also how the people inside the homes lived the same monotonous life.

So, how does this apply to us here at SK? People have a tendency to put others into boxes. Lawyers are expected to look and act in a specific way. Even female lawyers are expected to wear the “power suit.” Teachers are expected to behave in a circumspect manner. There are still morals clauses written into teaching contracts. And the boxes go on and on. We categorize our contacts. And we base expectations of behavior on those boxes. Even Desperate Housewives taps into this stereotyping.

We even go further and categorize those of us who are willing and able to open up enough to admit that we are sexually curious. Negative stigma attaches to those boxes. I still haven’t figured out how people are stupid enough to ask an erotic writer if they have done everything they write about. But the stereotyping continues. Those of us interested in BDSM are “sick.” Sex workers are “grubby.” Sex shops are always depicted as dark and seedy. Rather than being considered healthy to talk about sex, most people are, at best, hesitant. Others avoid any such discussions and consider them completely off limits. When what I write comes up at work, one of my co-workers always says, “Don’t go there.”

And things get even worse for women. If a female participates in the same activities as a male, she can be stigmatized as a “bad mother.” The swinging male of the species is idolized. How often do we hear “Way to go, Dude” when we find out that a male has had a series of sexual conquests? What do we hear when a female admits to the same? The woman becomes a “slut” and unfit for polite company. She is the one mothers warn their daughters not to associate with.

Little boxes still exist. And those who would completely ban the free exchange of ideas about sex feed into these stereotypes. Because Susan Combs wrote a romance novel, her Democratic opponent has sent out a flyer asking: "Would you vote for a candidate who wrote a trashy, pornographic romance novel that glorifies premarital sex and seeks to arouse sexual interest as your State Comptroller of Public Accounts?" Excuse me. What does a novel have to do with her ability to administer a public office? What is ironic is that the liberal Democrat is wagging his finger in the face of the conservative Republican writer. How’s that for sticking people in boxes? We excuse Bill Clinton’s peccadilloes. In neither case is the person’s ability to function on the job impaired by outside activities. Yet, two boxes are at work here. First, sex is not allowed in the public forum. Second, heaven forbid a woman participate.

Let’s get real. First of all, sex is a fact of life. The more we can talk openly about it, the healthier we will be. My ex-jerk is a prime example of the mental instability associated with the repression of sex talk. Some day I will get into the insanities. For now, suffice to say he was prevented from talking about sex in a healthy way. Next, females are about half the population. To deny that a woman has sexual interests is to deny humanity.

Let’s get out of the boxes. Erotic writers are teachers, secretaries, politicians and lawyers. Sex workers are mothers. We all have to get the kids off to school, fix dinners and clean the house. The mentality that forces us to assume a different persona when we deal with sexual topics needs to stop. The schizophrenia is far more detrimental to our health than being able to integrate all facets of our lives.