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Cybering Thoughts for Wordsmiths Wordsmith Sex Expectations La Wry is a woman, and she is online. Invitations to cyber abound.
It ain't no newsflash hun, I know that. And the world may not need one more rant from a woman on men seeking sex on the world wide web, but I can rant whenever I want, and about whatever I want...
And I'd like to think my rant is special, as are all things that happen to La Wry.
You see, recently I was emailing with another writer. And, as is the cutom of internet relationships, after a proper amount of time, we decided to move to the instant messanger format, as it would save time.
Now, the merits of said move are not under discussion here. It is not 'if' I should have, of 'how soon' I did this. It is not even a point of 'why' I 'went there.' It is about expectations.
I began to dig the guy. Call me a fool, I like intelligent men who can bend words, turn a phrase, and string them together to string me along. It's the ability to create a fantasy thet especailly works on La Wry. I had no expectations of moving from the US to live near or with this man. I had no hopes for 'the rest of my life.' I just thought I'd take a little trip to some fantasy world for a few minutes, and if it was any good, maybe take small, mental, trips there as needed...
And so I find myself moving past flirting, past compliments, into more frank sexual conversations.
(Now don't give me that look. You have all done it in some form or another. Those talks about 'what you like' or 'what you look for' etc. So don't act all high & mighty like that!)
Anyway, here I am with this writer, who I think is talented, and we begin to start down that erotic path...
One description leads to another, and I begin to think this might work, when WHAM, here comes a bad bit.
He writes: "grabbing my balls and milking them like your own private herd"
Now, I don't own a pair, but milking balls just doens't sound like a good idea to me. And I have since asked others who do own a pair, and they find it to be an 'ouch' not an 'ooooooh' moment as well... But that aside, I have to say, the line just cracked me up.
It was a deal breaker alrighty.
If this guy is a wordsmith, and this is all he can do, I am very turned off. If this is his best shot (and we usually start with our 'winners' right?), and this is all I can inspire, then I say 'no.'
Maybe that 'ouch' is his thing, and I guess that is possible, but the scene was a bit too pastoral for me. I don't know of many women who would be craving a farm-like-fantasy, especially for their first time. Perhaps a stable theme, jockeys & riding metaphors, lather & leather descriptors, might work but in general any reference to bovines is best left out.
I can only imagine the quality of the 'sweet nothings' one would get in the ear with this guy...
So, if there is a lesson here to be learned, it is this: wordsmiths, you have a higher standard that you are held to when it comes to activities that are word-based. There is no lesson for me, La Wry already knows everything.
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