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An SK reader sent in this email:

I raise 2 boys and a girl. My daughter is our youngest, by several years. Recently, the boys, in their teens, have started making sexual jokes and comments about girls and wanting to 'get on that' etc. While they don't do this around me (I have to catch them at it, it's usually when they are with friends etc), I have to assume that our daughter hears the comments. Obviously, I am concerned about this and some of their taste in 'music' (rap) as well. What's the best way to have a conversation with my boys so that it's not a lecture they tune out, but understand how damaging and upsetting this could be to their sister and other women too.

Signed,
Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned Mom,

The main thing that I think needs to be explained is that all of Hip Hop doesn't have that type of music. I think that there needs to be a serious dialogue about the power of Women and why certain groups of people want to use sex or looks to determine and define the essence of who a woman is.

I think that as a parent, that instead of saying TURN DOWN THAT RAP MUSIC, let your children know -- lyric by lyric what is inappropriate and why it's inappropriate and ask them to find you some healthy music. Music can enter your soul without you even noticing it, the child will be reciting lyrics. Many of it is mindless repetition, until someone stops and truly analyzes the lyrics. So I think it's imperative for the parent to sit down and stop and say do you HEAR what this song is saying? And this is WHY the song is wrong.

I think that the parent should say to their child that the people who make these lyrics don't come from a healthy space. Furthermore the industry that supports these lyrics are using insecurities in a community to further gain wealth. There are Hip Hop artists who are healthy: Kanye West, Common, Mikkey, Tupac (provided a balanced view), Mos Def, and countless others that can be an alternative for those who love that genre of music.

I am glad that you are saying NO to Rap SEX-ploitation.

Shemia Miller

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