Adventures with Betty Lou

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I had more than a few adventures with Betty Lou. Many of them started with her attempts to belittle me but as for how they ended up with, well, we'll see...

Our first semester at college we both stayed in the dorms. We were in the same hall, on the same floor, the same wing; but we were not roommates. One wing there were 'the girls', the other 'the boys' and in the middle a hallway to the elevators. Across from the elevators were the showers, hers and his, where the earlier incident occurred. One of the bigger incidents with Betty Lou happend in this hallway which divided girls from boys.

Late one afternoon, while Betty Lou & I waited for the elevators to head for an early dinner, she spotted one of the football players. She yelled to him, "Hey, do me a favor and take this bitch into the men's showers and cool her off."

He looked me up an down, sizing me up, then looked back at her and said, "What's in it for me?" She promised him a beer. He looking quickly in the men's shower to make sure it was clear & then he began to walk towards me.

I didn't move; I didn't panic. It's not that the virginal Gracie wasn't afraid ~ in fact, I was mortified because I wasn't a particularly adept social person and so I had no clue how a girl, a young woman, was supposed to react to being dragged into a public shower by a big, hot guy. And then, as today, I dislike water I am not prepared for (very much like a cat I am that way). But I knew I couldn't out-run, out-muscle, or out-maneuver him ~ which only left room for me to out-maneuver Betty Lou.

I let him reach me and put his hands firmly on my arms and then as casually as I could I said, "There's a case of beer in it for you if you take the loud-mouthed-trouble-maker in instead."

Before Betty Lou's jaw could drop his hands were on her arms. Before she could gasp a protest, he had begun to drag her towards the men's shower. But a few steps after than she scuffled (rather pathetically & with no effect). As she went round the shower room doorway she began to scream ~ at me of course.

I stood where I had been through the whole thing, just listening to her screams and swears echo out the doorway and wondering how damn loud it must have been for him.

A few minutes later he walked out. He stood just to the side of the doorway to wait for the wet and pissed Miss Betty Lou to exit as well. I would have laughed at how comical his gentlemanly stance looked, but I had work to do.

I held my finger up to indicate I'd be back in a jiffy, and I turned and walked down the hallway to the girls dorms. Betty Lou had quickly retreated to the womens shower ~ her vocalizations told me that ~ so she had no idea that I went all the way down to the end of the dorm hallway to the very last room, her room. I walked in, past her dull roommate, went to her mini-fridge and pulled out Betty Lou's case of beer. I walked past her protesting roommate and back up the hall to where he was waiting.

I proffered him the case of beer. He shook his head 'no' and said, "Hell, that was fun. I won't take your beer for handling a loud-mouth."

"Don't worry," I said, "it's not my beer, it's hers."

With a big grin he reached out one big hand to take the beer and then the other to shake my hand. "Hi, I'm Todd, the only damn junior on the floor. Nice to meet you."

And that is the story of how the virgin freshman girl got an 'in' with the college football team.


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