Don't Cross Me, I Will Outlast You

Libby's recent review of Wicked got me thinking again of something that has been bothering me about women in the workplace a lot lately. I have never quite understood why we really can't work together.

Oh, yes, we all want to get ahead. But why do we have to stab each other in the back, slander each other, gossip and generally try to tear each other to pieces? And once we get a foot up on the ladder, what's wrong with helping someone else climb that ladder?

About a year ago a co-worker left. We were all delighted to see her go...me more than anyone. I was her special target. I have no idea where she got the notion I was "out to get her." Not long after I joined the department, I'll call her Ms. Executive, applied for the lead position. I, too, was eligible for it, but I made the choice not to apply and de facto she got the position. I really didn't want it. But from the moment Ms. Exec got the position power was her trip. I could do nothing right...not even sign my name. I didn't know how to word a letter. I didn't know how to work an account. I didn't know where to send the letters. Everything I said was wrong. And she let me...and everyone in the department and the building know it.

I never contradicted Ms. Exec in front of others. If I offered a suggestion I was wrong and she acted like I had mounted a full-frontal attack on her. Ms. Exec would even wag her finger in my face. Believe me, I was tempted to break it off. It got so bad there were even sessions behind closed doors with upper management and both of us were told to "cool it." I took it as a kind way to say this had to stop. She took such reprimands as a personal attack by me.

Though I was the major target of her ego trip and paranoia, others were also on the receiving end. Ms. Exec was charged with training new employees. She did not help them with their weaknesses and build up their strengths. She consistently picked on their strengths. We had the highest turn-over in the building.

It's Happening Again

Not long ago the lead position opened up again. This time I only applied for it because I was hounded into it. Luckily I didn't get it. But the person who did is starting to act like Ms. God. For the most part, upper management leaves me alone. They know I know what I'm doing. I don't work 200 accounts a day, but the 150 I work never have to be worked again. That is more than everyone else can say in the department. And, yes, I do make mistakes. But there is one thing I am very sure of before I open my mouth: I already know the answer to the suggestion I propose. Ms. God (who is not my lead, by the way) tried to tell me what to do last week. I had already covered this with the supervisor. I am in a position to watch as she is training the new hires. She belittles them. She gives too much information at one time...no one can retain it all at once. She snaps at them. On days when Ms. God has PMS the entire team walks on eggshells.

Let's Work Together

Competition is great. Pushing to work at full capacity is great. But there are ways to do this. I have seen men in cutthroat competition. But when it is time to mentor a fellow worker, they do it. Let's work on building our strengths. Let's not cut each other to pieces because we are fat, quiet, hyper, or anything else. When we are in the workplace, it is things about work that should be of importance...not that we perceive each other to be competition.

By the way, if anyone tries to cross me, just remember, I have outlasted two managers, four supervisors, and three leads. And whenever someone goes out of her way to make my life miserable, I just quiet up and give her enough rope to hang herself. I really don't have to do anything other than my job to outlast the person on the power trip. So, why can't we just work together?