A Whore's Discourse: Part I
Lately, I have been finding myself in a stranger state of mind than I normally am. In part, I think it has to do with a question that rose up from the psyche after I had had an intimate, personal encounter, or an actual 'date' if you will.
After a wonderful night with someone that I found myself rather drawn to, I began to wonder as to how one, in the sex trade, learns to differentiate between personalized intimate encounters and ‘work.’
For one thing, being able to de-compartmentalize between what is personal and close and what is considered ‘arbeit’ seems necessary. (And no, I am not saying that all clients feel like dreaded labour, or that I harbour no affections for them-sometimes I do, as I know many others feel certain types of affection for their johns, as well.) But how do you draw the line of what is most personal and deeply seated within your heart, and that work encounter? How do you avoid one area over-lapping into the other?
I ask these things, because I have noticed myself lately, during hot encounters of my own choosing to involve the attitude of ‘Is the money on the dresser?’ And I know that that is not healthy. My temporary solution, aside from it being a holiday weekend, is to literally, take a short holiday or break from sex work. Though I plan on resuming the summertime schedule soon.
Which, interestingly enough, leads to another question: How do you prevent your attitudes towards sex from becoming warped and jaded? For me, I know that the encounters of my own choosing are going to be enjoyable, because it is a more mutual experience, involving a certain level of balanced, mutual attraction towards one another.
These are just some of the questions that have come to surface lately. In the manner of the Socratic Method, I will try and post more of these for individual pondering.
© Eden deLight, a self-exploring individualist, who loves to read, fuck, and create whacky pieces of art. She curently resides and writes in Chicago.