Write It Out - Sex~Kitten.net

Online journals, or blogs, offer free white space for that! But some folks don't like the idea of anyone seeing their deep personal thoughts. Others just don't feel comfortable writing on a computer -- it does limit your ability to be in the fetal position... So maybe blogs aren't your thing.

But don't add this to your list of things to despair over! Remember good old fashioned paper & pencil? They still exist!

Many places sell diaries, 'blank books,' heck, even an old sprial notebook will do! Added features of such antiquated technology include privacy, the ability to take them anywhere & write in any sloth position you choose, and an extra powerful tool: the ability to destroy them.

Why would I say to destroy them?

Well, it can be quite therapeutic to pour your soul onto paper, but even more so, to write the agony or passionate love thoughts & then send them onward...

Sometimes this can be soft & pretty. You can carefully & safely set it on fire, repeating some affirmation of 'I let it go.'

Another private ceremonial way to move on, leaving those thoughts in the past, is to write a thoughtful letter to your past love, then deliberately walking to the trash, crunching it between your fingers, & tossing it out. Or you can burn it, shred it, blow your nose in it, whatever. Just do not give it to them! This falls into the 'trying to get them back' bargaining or denial areas.

Other times, it can be a loud celebration. Toss it on a bonfire, while you & friends dance around it, laughing, releasing the ties to the past in ritualistic form.

Other options are to write a love letter to your aching pain, or the individual who caused it, and then go back each week, to edit it. Each week you should be seeing 'new' things... As your eyes open to the reality of how 'wrong' the relationship is/was, you will begin to change the lines...

Or you could write the letter, then set it away for a few days. Take it out again, and destroy it. Maybe sit there and cut it into a snowflake for the holidays (I could have decorated a whole tree this way!), shred it, or use it to line the bird cage or cat's litter box.

If you aren't anywhere near being able to see your words again so soon, let alone eliminate them so crudely, there are a few other options for you too.

Write you thoughts, seal them in an envelope addressed to yourself. You can then write a letter to a friend or family member, asking them to mail this to you in 6 months (or whatever date you choose). Once that much time has passed, and the letter does arrive, your feelings then will tell you what to do: burn it, shred it, laugh hysterically as you forgot old-what's-their-name already...

Maybe your problem is not that you care for the other person any longer. You have no interest in having them back, but you are stuck in sadness & fear you will never love again. Why not write a love letter to yourself, listing all the reasons why you are worthy of love? Use the 'send it to a friend' method, or six, and have your words come back to you as your own affirmation!

A friend of mine did this years ago, with a slightly different twist... She wrote a letter to her new love - one she had not yet met! She wrote a love letter to her future mate, to be mailed to her in 18 months, and you know what? She had met him by then! Really! (Of course, a friend of hers, who had done the same thing she had, was still 'alone' when the letter arrived, but she realized that the things she had written there no longer applied. So she wrote a new letter, with her new list of attributes wanted, and gave herself another six months. I don't know if that one worked, but I'd like to think so!)

The point is, the written word is powerful. You can use it to wish for the future, lament for the past, & to wipe the slate clean.

Even if you do write online, you can use these rites of passage - just print the screen & use that paper.

Maybe you aren't quite able to see yourself doing those things yet. But you will. So start writing today, tomorrow will come.