Numbness

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I, yes, I, have become sexually numb.

Numbness, first of all, isn't being crabby or shy or any of the other things which it may appear to be. It should not be confused with that empty-but-hungry feeling you can get, like when you keep walking to the refrigerator, opening and re-opening the door to see what will appease. Nor should numbness be confused with being bored. Though any of these things may be the start of numbness (or the cover-up for it), numb is special. Like the cheese, it stands alone.

Numbness is not only the non-existence of any real emotion, but also the feeling that you don't care to do anything about it. And it can most decidedly strike your libido. Sometimes, that's all it affects. You can be happy, giddy and engaged in life but just not feel sexual at all.

Sexual numbness isn't necessarily a part of ~ or a result of ~ becoming desensitized. In fact, it doesn't even need to have a reason or an underlying cause. It just is.

We have the need for numbness. Numbness is the mind (and body's) way of taking a break. Like a steady diet of cheesecake, all sex all the time isn't good for you. You've got to maintain a balance and pace you can live with. So when your libido says, "Slow down!" just do it. Or don't do 'it'. Take a break and recharge your batteries.

However common it is to all of us, it seems to be most markedly noticed in sex kittens and sex workers. And when it does, when normally randy folks seem to quit cold-turkey, it freaks the rest of the world out. This because we are supposed to be there to inspire others. When escorts, courtesans, PSOs, erotica authors, lovers, sex bloggers have 'lost the mood' we are fearful creatures. Not (always or just) to ourselves. We are fearful creatures because we are no longer as prolific in word or deed as we are expected to be. In some cases, we seem to disappear. The fact that we are no longer available causes a panic in those who count on us so much.

It is because of their discomfort that we often remain silent on the subject. Many sex workers are especially threatened by discussing or even admitting to having, to needing, these times of numbness. We may be willing to take a break from our livelihoods, that we can plan for; but will saying such things mean we've cut or otherwise crippled our future work? No client wants to hear that his or her sexual fantasy is at home sitting in sweats on the sofa turning down sex for munching Cheetos and watching game show re-runs. From a marketing point of view this radio silence may be necessary, but do not let the lack of public message become a private message to yourself, denying the numbness.

I'm here to tell you, not feeling sexy, not wanting to slip into something skimpy and let others play us like a fiddle, not wanting to create a story sure to make an editor bust a nut, is OK. Why we accept the limitations of vibes, but not our own need to recharge, is rather amazing to me; but it's true.

As a temporary condition, sexual numbness is normal, even for sex workers and sex kittens.

Sure, we fulfill sex fantasies ~ our own and those of others ~ but this is not all we are. Just as we can pick up a sign and picket for a cause, stuff envelopes for our own political campaigns, bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan, and still be sexual beings, so can we be wonderfully complete taking a sexual hiatus.

Sometimes we all have to become sexually numb. It's the ebb and flow; go with it.

 

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