Not the Bradys XXX

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It may have been almost forty years in the making, but sooner or later there was bound to be a porn parody of "The Brady Bunch." It's finally here.

"Not the Bradys XXX" has been one of the most highly anticipated porn films in recent memory, and with good reason. All the people that grew up fantasizing about getting it on with Marcia or Peter can now watch them in action, hardcore style. Sure it's not the real Marcia, Greg, or Peter, but the much younger, porn-ified versions. Good enough.

Amazingly, the producers here went out of their way to re-create the look of the real Bradys, complete with seventies style clothing and haircuts (the wig on Mrs. Brady is a trip) and a set so similar to the original Brady house that it's downright eerie. They even have a theme song that mimics the Brady theme except this time, "Here's the story of a very special lady who was busy raising three teens of her own. They were blond and dirty like their mother, the youngest one loved porn." One would think lawsuits would be abound, but they make it clear to state they're "not the Bradys". XXX, that is.



The story begins with Mr. Brady (Mike Horner) warning Mrs. Brady (Alana Evans) that his business is not going well and they're in financial trouble and may need to cut back on their spending habits. The Brady girls overhear this conversation and tell their parents they want to pitch in and help make some extra money. Mr. Brady tells his girls everything is going to be "just OK' and not to worry, but the girls hold a family meeting with the boys anyway and try to figure out what can be done. Greg and Marcia agree that since they're the oldest, they should be the ones to get jobs, but "not to tell Mom and Dad."

Sure enough Marcia (Hillary Scott) finds an ad in the classifieds section looking for "figure models" and shows up at the door of Chatsworth Models, who do a little bit more than book figure models. Once there, a sleazy fat man named Lu Bricate talks Marcia into becoming nude model, but she says she "needs to think about it" and promises to come back. Little does she know her brother Bobby (Mikey Butders) has already answered the same ad and is about to perform in his first porn scene with Marcia's friend from school (Jasmine Byrne).

The girls end up starting a neighborhood car wash to bring in a little extra cash, but innocent, brace-faced Cindy (Leah Luv) is lured by one of the patrons (Kurt Lockwood) into making even more cash by giving him a blow job...and much more. Poor little Cindy is turned out for $200, but she seems to enjoy every minute of it.

Meanwhile, the hottest of the Brady boys, Peter (James Deen), gets it on with two girls in his bunk beds, while Jan (Aurora Snow) fucks her boyfriend in full view of Mom and Dad in the backyard. Only when Alice (Lynn LeMay) clues Mr. And Mrs. Brady in about the sexual hijinks that are going on around the house do they begin to notice that things might be going awry.

In a sick and twisted turn of events, Marcia convinces Greg (Benjamin Brat) to make a porn with her in the girls' flowery pink bedroom. Remember, they're not blood related! A stuffed dog toy watches in the background as Marcia and Greg screw for the camera. Disturbing, but ultimately what everyone wanted to see...Greg and Marcia getting it on.

Disappointingly, Sam the Butcher (Ron Jeremy) never hooks up with Alice, despite several promises to "bring her the meat." Why waste the talent of two veteran porn performers in what could have been the most interesting scene in the whole movie? Regardless, everybody else in the family gets a turn, but little Cindy's scene is the hottest, despite the underage connotations.

I was happy to see actual pussy licking in the sex scenes, but unfortunately most of them are formulaic, with the same acts, in the same order, repeated throughout the film. The performers seem enthusiastic and the non-sex content is funny, though I wish there was a little bit more of it. Despite the clever suprise ending that kind excuses all this deviant behavior, the film is fun and one that could be recommended to couples, women, or men. Everybody loves the Bradys!

Review by Libby

Title: "Not the Bradys XXX"
Runtime: 240 minutes
Stars and Cast:
Cast: Alana Evans, Aurora Snow, Benjamin Brat, Hillary Scott, James Deen, Jasmine Byrne, Kurt Lockwood, Leah Luv, Lynn LeMay, Mike Horner, Mikey Butders, Paulina James, Ron Jeremy, Tee Reel, Veronique Vega
Director: Will Ryder

 

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