Sex Worker Confessions: The English Courtesan

Tell me what you're looking for, Rose douce, and I'll be delighted to tell you how I can oblige... ;-)

I'm a courtesan which is very similar to being an escort, only I tend to have longer, more regular arrangements, with fewer people. I'm independent, which means I don't work through an agency and clients contact me direct, usually by email in the first instance. While escorts are best known as providers of sexual services, and around 80% of what I do is sex, the other 20% is the less tangible things, such as providing the affection, romance, kindness, or listening that someone might be missing in their marriage or in their other relationships.

Some clients want a two hour break from normality, with excitement and passion being the primary objective, whilst others like a long, slow evening, perhaps starting with dinner and moving on to an exploration of other sensual pleasures. Occasionally clients want a longer experience, such as a weekend away with a stimulating companion or the chance to explore somewhere new with someone who shares their interests. The type and length of booking depends entirely on what a client wants.

How long have you been doing this work?

Nearly 18 months. Does that make me a relative virgin? ;-)

Describe, as best as you can, your type of clientele in terms of what you see as their need for sex services. (Not just the 'need to get off' but why they hire help; what they are missing in their lives.)

I think one could divide clients’ needs into physical, emotional and practical needs. On a physical level, most of my clients just want normal sex, with cuddling, kissing, and stroking. I do offer more specialised services, including mild domination, bondage, watersports, and role play, but on the whole, demand for these is lower than it is for 'vanilla sex'. I'm not sure why that is, as I understand from other escorts that a lot of the clients they see are interested in more unusual services. Perhaps it’s because I attract a certain kind of client and that they ‘self-select’ by reading the blog. On the whole my clients like giving pleasure as much as they enjoy receiving it so the enjoyment is entirely mutual.

In terms of emotional needs, most of my clients are married and I think that's part of why they see me. Many of them have been married for 20 or 30 years and somehow the spark has gone out of their marriage and so has the sex. It's not that they'd ever want to leave their partners, and in most cases they love them dearly, but it's more that the passion, the laughter, the romance and the affection have faded over time. It’s also about clients wanting a little ‘me time’. They work hard and often provide for both their partners and children so they’re used to having to put other people first. I give them the space to be themselves and to have what they want and need.

That’s where clients’ practical needs apply. Seeing me is much less risky than an affair. I'm naturally discreet and I guard my clients' privacy as closely as I guard my own. The relationship is mutually beneficial yet the limitations of it are part of what makes it special.

Do you try to help with those needs, even if the client hasn't specifically asked or even acknowledged this need? If so, how? If not, why not?

I certainly try to. I think being approachable and non-judgemental can help clients open up. Intuition too is a very important thing for a courtesan or escort: you need to be able to know what a client wants and needs, without making them spell it out. Sometimes a client will tell you in advance if they have a specific concern, but often it will be up to you to work it out when you meet them.

If someone is looking for a particular type of sexual service that I don't offer, I'll always be honest with them. Where possible I try to recommend someone I think could provide what they're looking for.

If you have specific example, like one client you've helped, please tell us about it.

I hesitate to single out one client but some things crop up regularly. On a sexual level, a lot of clients have issues with maintaining an erection. Perhaps that's partly because I like older men, and they tend to like me, but to be honest it's common across a whole range of age groups. That one is fairly straightforward and all you need to do is to take your time. I have one client who I read to when he loses his erection - we have a cup of tea, I read him a chapter of something he likes, and sure enough by then it's in working order again. The important thing is not to get stressed and not to just carry on doing whatever you’re doing, or it desensitizes them, and I also use a specific type of condom that can help.

I’ve also seen several disabled clients. Whilst their specific needs depend on the type of disability they have, these tend to be more physical than sexual: they might need help getting undressed, for example, or booking a hotel if they have hearing problems or a speech impediment. A little patience, with some respect and kindness, makes most things possible.

I like to think the way I can be of most help to clients is just by showing a little warmth and tenderness. I’m genuinely affectionate and I screen clients carefully so that I only meet people with whom I can establish a rapport. My clients are not ‘needy’ people and they tend to have full and busy lives but we all need a little kindness sometimes. I think that’s what I love most about being a courtesan. If you make a difference to just one person, by showing them the kindness they deserve, it makes your day and theirs.

About the interviewee: Olivia Delamere, The English Courtesan is an escaped convent school girl and former corporate slave who now runs her own business as an international courtesan & travel companion.

About the interviewer: Secondhand Rose is a former escort who became a writer and then, when she discovered she missed sex work, returned to sex work as a phone companion and conversationalist.