Beauty Rules We Know -- And Break Anyway

In no particular order, these are some of the rules we girls know and break. (And I expect you all to post your own broken rules as comments.)

The beauty sin: Not dieting.
Why we sin: We like food.
Cautions & notes: The only nuts we'll enjoy before a festive party is our partners ~ and, speaking for myself only of course, that only makes me hungrier. And hornier. And if I can't get laid while (or instead of) attending the old man's work party, then I might as well eat. Ditto the other dieting rule, not drinking.

The beauty sin: Rubbing our eyes.
Why we sin: Because we are human.
Cautions & notes: Men need not worry or be held accountable for lines, so they don't stop and use a lukewarm washcloth to gently remove the sleep-crust from their eyes, or refrain from rubbing tired eyes when they itch. We women participate in equality here, but pay as women with wrinkles later ~ and I do mean 'pay' as we are sold jars, tubes and bottles of anti-wrinkle help to make up for our imperfections.

The beauty sin: Sleeping in makeup.
Why we sin: We are exhausted.
Cautions & notes: See above. Also note that the added extra work for washing pillowcases and linens sets us up for our hasty need to sleep.

The beauty sin: Scrubbing our skin.
Why we sin: We've slept in our makeup, among other things.
Cautions & notes: Every 'beauty pro' will tell you not to scrub your skin ~ it pulls (causing sags), it causes skin to swell (ugly puffing), it causes too much 'skin stimulation' (resulting in pimples), it's too much for our delicate skin. But how else can you remove the black crusties & red smears from your face the morning after?

The beauty sin: Smoking.
Why we sin: Because we're addicts; because this is one time when function matters more than form.
Cautions & notes: While cigs may definitely be a huge part of the glue that holds us together through our lives, we are aware of that in the long term it may affect our forms limiting our lives. We also acknowledge that this is largely up to genetics. We also must note that if we had proper support in our lives (and quitting) we likely wouldn't be playing Russian Roulette with our genes.

The beauty sin: Showers and baths that are too hot (or too cold).
Why we sin: We need to wake-up, warm-up or otherwise become a functioning human again via bathing.
Cautions & notes: Skin is said to be too delicate for such wear-and-tear, but employers just don't seem to be understanding of the "I wasn't awake enough at 8 to drive and be here by 9" excuse. We are told/sold that we can buy new skin with the dollars made at work; unemployed pretty skin leaves one unable to afford food. (Another reason whoring is so appealing ~ we set our own hours!)

The beauty sin: Not pampering ourselves enough.
Why we sin: Money & time ~ the lack thereof.
Cautions & notes: Time to slice cucumbers to restore my delicate eye tissue? Maybe. To lay with those slices over my eyes? :snort: Buy a bottle of goo which can be worn 'all day while I work'? Maybe I can afford that... But then again I need another bottle for my throat, face, breasts, elbows, legs, knees, feet, ass... Oh, and a few more for spot-on application, like zits, age spots, and that burn on my hand from hastily placing the frozen pizza in the preheated oven last night. That's not only a whole lot of money, but a whole lot of application (and drying) time. And we didn't even get to my hair yet.

The beauty sin: Why we spend so much when we do pamper ourselves.
Why we sin: Because then it's really pampering.
Cautions & notes: Manicures and pedicures can be done much more cheaply at home, to be sure. But unless a gal lives alone, sans children (interruptions), pets (and their hair), men (who mock), there's no relaxation in soaking, pumicing & polishing. Ditto any other hair or spa treatment.

The beauty sin: Not wearing a bra.
Why we sin: It just feels good. (Unless you are a larger-busted gal who feels pains without her support, this really shouldn't need an explanation.)
Cautions & notes: Slip wrote about the pitfalls of letting your boobs fall too long, and I'd like to add that unless you are the owner of breasts of a small, manageable cup-size, the to-and-fro isn't as sexy as you think. However, the luxury of removing a bra at the end of the day may tempt one into not putting a bra on the next day, even if we risk becoming saggy-Sallies.

The beauty sin: Not shaving.
Why we sin: As varied as the body parts.
Cautions & notes: Arm pits? Those are a generally observed rule here in the US and given the few number or swipes with a blade that such body hair removal requires, we can commit to it in our zombie-shower status. Other forms? Not so much.

Contrary to what you'll read on the Internet, most women do not remove all their pubic hair or make those fancy landing strips. Trims, waxes and shaves take time and frankly, the resulting itch, rash and maintenance don't out-weigh what some men want. Yeah, bub, I'm talking to you; you just aren't worth it. I'm a woman and I've got pubic hair, just like you; deal with it. (And as the news comes in, seems more men fancy the natural look than not.)

As for legs, unless they're showin' when the winter wind's blowin' we'll wait til spring, thank you very much. It's not that the old joke about winter hair and hair's warmth is true, but that shaving on dry skin sucks. Men with winter beards understand & apply this logic too.

The bottom line with hair removal is this: Make it worth our while. You want us to shave and prune like date-night? Then treat us like it. Bath more often, brush your teeth whenever you're around us, shave yourself, put on cologne, dress better yourselves, and woo us. Yes, that also means listening to us and giving us lots of foreplay.

Come to think of it, this rule might just apply to most if not all the other beauty rules we sex kittens break. Care for us, and we'll have (and make) more time to care for ourselves.