Despite my dear queer college roommate telling me, "Angela, you're disgustingly heterosexual," I secretly masturbate to lesbian porn. I will pay $9.99 for an ON DEMAND lesbian movie and watch probably fifteen minutes of it until I "get my fix." Then I'm done until the next time. In between times? I think dirty thoughts about dirty girls.
Okay, hold on to your boxers or briefs or panties (or your genitalia if you happen to be buck nekkid), because I'm about to break my own golden rule of keeping kink/fetish discussion in the realm of your desires rather than my own. Can you keep a secret? Because I haven't shared this with anyone. Okay, maybe I told Isabella Valentine and I might have mentioned it to Slip of a Girl in passing. Oh, and I kinda-sorta let it slip to Second Hand Rose. But I swear on a stack of strap-ons, you are the only other one who is going to get the 911 on my secretest of fantasies.
Which is my girls only — that would be tits to tits, cunt to cunt — lipstick lesbian fantasies. Which simply befuddles some of my friends, because in my every day life I'm as straight as a shot of finely aged scotch. (I do have other fantasies –lots of them– and most are much kinkier than these ones, but we aren't talking about those today. I have a feeling I might never talk about them in this venue, but that remains to be seen. I have been known to change my mind.)
I often wonder why and where this became a turn-on for me. And I really don't know. I usually don't fantasize about any particular female, although there have been a few. But when I've added those few to the mix, it was because it was a mind fuck for me, making it dirtier. And you know what I always say: The dirtier the better. At least when it's fantasy sex. Or maybe we should call it "masturbatory sex," because thats when the kink comes out of the closet for me. I just don't get masturbating to vanilla sex. That is something we, particularly women, can have any damn time we want it.
I do love looking at women. And I love being female. I love our bodies, our softness, our smell … our everything. So to imagine myself with a girl — touching, kissing, fingering, licking — just, well, gets me going big time.
So let me tell you just one of the slightly kinky fantasies:
Once upon a time I worked with a girl who literally hated my guts. (Humph! Can you imagine that?) She was a very pretty redhead, built lusciously curvy. She just wasn't too smart and had some serious life issues, which I'm sure contributed to her ongoing disdain for me. By chance, I happened to hear her talking about her "bisexuality" one day. I wasn't eavesdropping. She knew I was there, and probably was having fun with the fact of my presence, as she'd mistakenly cast me as the "miss goody two shoes" since our first encounter.
She said that she believed that her "lesbian side" was due to the fact of her first sexual experience, in which a guy picked her up hitch hiking and took her home. Once there, he put her in bed with his wife, watching the two of them get it on while he sat masturbating in a corner chair. DAMNNNNN!
So I recreate this scenario every once in a while, where I am the hitch hiker and she is the wife. Since I remember her voice, I can hear in my head the dirty things she is saying to me…which makes it very hot. And because in real life she is someone of no consequence, but who hates me to pieces anyway, putting her in the power position makes it naughtier and kinkier to me.
So, okay. That's just one fantasy. But one was all I said I was going to share. So don't grump. Now, maybe if you are very, very good, I might follow up some day with my attempt to go lesbian for one night. It was a total disaster, but I did try.
Blame it on the second martini.