In Which I Flap My Lips About Loose Vaginas
It's a normal day ~ until my Gchat window pops up with a message from AAG
AAG: Hey, I've got a question for you
AAG: in your experience, do vaginas become "stretched out" after playtime with a well-endowed man?
Yeah, this was gonna be a typical day.
me: I'd laugh, but I've questioned the same thing myself. Kegles don't seem much use even these days (when I'm getting laid a lot)
I'm no doctor, but I'd say "hell yes, they do!"
to what degree?
me: I've never employed the compass & protractor ;)
AAG: heh, I think you'd need a micrometer
me: I wonder if this is nature's way of preparing for childbirth or something? Because damn, ya know?
I bet all the docs will say I'm nuts & it's just being over 40 (like when over 30 was the reason for everything)
(I wait; my neurosis growing by the second.)
your silence is killing me here... like I failed a test lol
(Eventually she returns)
AAG: oh sorry
if I'm silent, it means that someone has pooped
me: I hope it was one of the kids :p
AAG: yes, in this case it was
Well, while AAG went off to write her rant about such myths as "African cock" & "floppy pussies" (presumably after washing her hands), I sat there wondering...
Am I abnormal to notice my pussy loosening? Can so much sex ~ good sex ~ with a well-endowed man affect a pussy that way? Or is there something else going on? ...Maybe I'm a freak.
Kegels just don't seem to be as effective as they once were ~ especially if we've been lucky enough to have those marathon sex sessions we both adore...
I'm not saying that I'm so loose that I can no longer experience/provide friction, but I doubt that if we used them I'd be pulling condoms off with my tight pussy like I once did.
Then it hit me: OMG, would AAG mention it?!
I flew back to the chat box.
me: So, are gonna out me about pussy stretching? I'll be most uncool if you do lol
but the part about the compass and the micrometer is pretty funny
Honestly, I don't care if you mention it in the context (of personal exp, duration, time etc.) just don't wanna look like a complete stereotypical ass hat
AAG: no, this is an honest cry for help
me: No personal exp with it yourself?
AAG: oh yes
see, I've been fisted
over the past 16 months
he fists me and then immediately fucks me
he says it's perfectly snug
and I've fisted
:) which I adore
certainly doesn't seem to be the least bit floppy to me after I've pulled out my fist
me: See, I think it has something to do with my cervix being continually rammed (and just a scotch past that) which weakens the muscles
It's a matter of repetition/time (both the "love making act" and the frequency of such acts) Seems kegles are just not enough anymore...
He doesn't say it's noticeable (even when asked) but either he's just being nice or I'm neurotic because I notice it.
AAG: ohhhh you've got a looooong dude?
me: Thick& long
AAG: yeah, mine too
me: But as a penetration girl, who can squirt, and finds little satisfaction in cliteral, I'd have to have one of those :D
I do love the penetration
but can't live without the clit too
me: I'm totally pink-faced now lol
AAG: oh geez, we're sex bloggers
nothing to be embarrassed about here
me: I know, but despite being a sex blogger and a former ho, I still blush.
Feeling calmer about the whole thing ~ at least emotionally ~ I put the conversation behind me. But reading AAG's Imaginary Vagina post, I was forced to return to the subject of stretched pussies.
The more I thought about it, I figured someone had to speak for the stretched and neurotic...
That, apparently, is my job.
So, ladies (& gents), here are some facts about that stretched pussy feeling.
Really aroused & sexually excited vaginas will open before you like Aladdin's cave ~ and the canal will loosen too. (Good foreplay is your "Open Sesame!")
In my case, the more I have sex, the more I want it. Crave it. My "gaping maw" feeling is likely due, in part, to a heightened state of arousal.
Science says that the vaginal opening and canal is an active muscle; and used muscles will only become more fit & tone with use. However, being muscle, the opening and canal can become fatigued from use (perhaps even sore from being exercised without a proper warm-up or 'bruised' from being 'hit'), so there may be times when amazing Kegel performance will be too much to ask for.
For me, feeling loose, floppy, open and sloppy seem to be signs of being one lucky girl. One part, "I'm aroused as hell, and I am gonna take it some more!" and one part exhaustion. At least that's what I (and CR/LF) like to believe. *wink*
But science, and my doctor, will also point to my age ~ and maybe yours ~ as a culprit for what is medically called "vaginal relaxation." ("Vaginal relaxation," such a lovely sounding term for such an unpleasant & embarrassing feeling that the plastic surgeons will help you address with Vaginoplasty.)
At 44, and from a family with a history of early menopause, I could be suffering from lower levels of estrogen ~ which helps keep pelvic muscles strong. (I say "could be" because as I use ~ and absolutely adore ~ the estrogen-free intrauterine contraceptive (IUC) Mirena®, so I've no idea of my menopausal status & unsure of my hormone levels.)
For those of you who have labored through childbirth, especially multiple births, you may also find yourselves "vaginally relaxed" too. (Those with c-sections seem more likely to avoid such joys.)
There is a large difference between what I experience, a feeling of looseness, of being "open", after sex (or during those blissful sex marathons), and Cystocele and Rectocel, which can be more serious medical issues. I mention them because now that I've learned more, I feel better; I hope you do too ~ or seek help if you discover something else ails you.
The bottom line here is that knowledge is power ~ even against the insecurities we feel too neurotic to talk about. Even I need to be reminded of that every now and then.
For more info, see:
The University of California, Santa Barbara: Sex Info on Fisting, Stretched Pussy and Orgasm
Babeland's How To Fist
And, just for fun, Sex In Christ's Fisting and God's Will