Women Admiring Nylon Stockings in 1940s (& LGBTQ History)

Fun fact: Though being gay in the 40s sucked, being gay in the military was easier, and pretty common. There were apparently, at one point in time time so many lesbians in the military that when they tried to crack down on it, the girls wrote back and said “Look I can give you the names, but you’ll lose some of your best officers, and half your nurses and secretaries.” And they pret…

Source: dpoptart.tumblr.com

From @Deanna Dahlsad:

The info referenced came from this book:


See on Scoop.itSex History

“I found myself begging for a blindfold just so I didn’t have to read anymore”

I take it back; I do know someone who read 50 Shades… My friend Dr. Susan Block read it & wrote this:

As a writer and avid reader, I confess I found it to be 50 Shades of Torture, and not the erotic kind. After wading through bogs of insipid phrases like “holy crap,” “oh my!” and “inner goddess,” without a trace of irony, about 40 times each, I found myself begging for a blindfold just so I didn’t have to read anymore.

But as a sex therapist, I give a thumbs-up to anything that gets my clients–and millions of “regular” people around the world–excited about sex, desire, masturbating, communicating, reigniting moribund marital love lives, exploring sex toys, fetish and fantasy roleplay.

Fabulous Cufflinks for the St. Patrick’s Day Man

St. Patrick’s Day is one of my favourite holidays. My Grandmother was Irish and I think of her and her sisters who are all gone now, but missed. I remember the stories of things they did with their brother’s back in Ireland, growing up on a farm. It was a different life, a different generation of people.

shamrock cufflinks

Etsy: DecadesVintageOnEtsy

So, that’s what St. Patrick’s Day is for me. I always wear something green. Even if it’s just my dainties and no one knows but me. Usually, I find a shamrock brooch, a new one each year. So, I’m more than just a flash of green.

shamrock cufflinks

Etsy: PlumAndPoseyInc (Should you have a problem with being green).

Men don’t tend to wear a lot of jewelery, like brooches. But, there are small, special, nearly secret places men can wear something with some holiday sparkle, cuff links and tie clips. (If you dress up, of course). You may have a green suit and a green dress shirt too. But, the little touches can finish your St. Patrick’s Day style, or for the man who prefers to be subtle… just a touch of holiday style without the green suit, shirt or tie.

real shamrock

Etsy: brandyfrog (Real 4 leaf clover).

Etsy shop links:

cuff link shamrock

Etsy: SkeltonsTreasures

tie clip shamrock

Etsy: SkeltonsTreasures

Valentine Inspiration: Tea Cups and Saucers

Don’t look at me like that. I know Valentine’s Day is a mere one day and four minutes away (as I type this). But, I just had the idea and… ideas are for sharing even if they are a bit late-ish.

valentine tea cup

Etsy: ShoponSherman


If you haven’t got something for your Valentine yet… consider a pretty tea cup and saucer. Who doesn’t drink tea sometime? Even I (the coffee lover) have stacks of tea (loose and bagged) which I slip into occasionally. I don’t get a tea cup and saucer out but I do have them so the option is always there.

I found a few perfectly pink and pretty Valentine tea cups and saucers on Etsy. Then one divine red one which I love but can’t let myself buy.

valentine tea

Etsy: TheVintageFind1

Due to the lateness of the idea, you can find lovely Valentine tea cups and saucers at a store near you too. Look for those fussy kind of gift shops and stores like Hallmark (the greeting card retail outlets). Fussy, frilly places will often have tea cups (and matching saucers) if they sell stuff of any kind.

pink Valentine cup

Etsy: AprilsLuxuries

Of course, you can go all out and pick up an entire tea set. But, that could get really expensive (and fragile to cart home) when one tea cup can range in price from $10 to $90. Don’t forget thrift stores! I often find a selection of tea cups and saucers just waiting for new homes there too.

Links to find the Valentine tea cups from this post:

50 Shades Of… Annoyance & Boredom

I honestly don’t know a single person who has read 50 Shades. Once I heard how horribly written the book was, I didn’t bother. When the movie was announced, I thought I might go see that; perhaps the film version could remove the literary nightmares. But then the I was hit with the onslaught of all the movie promotion and I feel bored with the whole thing. I now know no one who plans on seeing the movie. If you still manage to maintain some interest in the story, why not watch 50 Shades in 50 Lines by Libertine Video. It seems to cover it all, even if there is no saucy soundtrack or nudity.

“A Strange Symphony Of Digital Escorts”

Sex tech made the news again, this time it was MTV spouting off on the “evolution” of sex. I say “spouting off” because while columnist Tess Barker may be clever & know her tech, I’m not sure if is all that sex savvy. She writes:

The old version of phone sex was always a little ridiculous, but “teledildonic” devices such as We-Vibe (along with its We-Connect app) and OhMiBod allow partners to create pleasurable vibrations from afar. These days, distance can make more than the heart grow fonder.

What’s ridiculous about “the old version” of phone sex, Barker? Talking together, be it dirty fantasy play or emotionally intimate talk, can lead to a mind blowing, orgasmic, thrilling fuck fest; because while it may employ individual masturbation it also engages the mightiest sex organ of them all, The Brain, via the ultimate connection ~ a human one.

While your partner may not be able to touch your body via phone sex, they can touch your mind. You can share a sexy mind meld, with or without the Star Trek role play.

As for the “teledildonics”, there are other ways to achieve that without pushing a button on an app; play control freak with your partner’s mind and tell them the what, where, when, why, and how of the masturabatory action. Be it their hand or a toy, controlling the scene and the action is hot. Super hot.

monkey playing a piano for dogsYou can come together to cum together, as opposed to, say, having a lazy person plunk their fingers on a keypad like some monkey playing the piano comedy bit.

Unless that’s what you’re into. Maybe you really like to monkey around; I don’t want to judge.

But just as two minds may be better than one, two minds may also be better than one and a trendy bit of sex tech.

Science and technology will make innovations in sexual toys and, once they figure out the truth of the female body, even perhaps in sexuality itself ~ but, as I’ve said before, it won’t replace the human components. It can’t.

Sex with robots will be no more therapeutic in its release than a vibrator made 130 years ago. The stimulation of our genitalia occurs, but what of our brains, minds and souls?

Sure, I admit that technology & culture are fluid bump-and-grind influencers, driving everything from changes in actual human needs to the “Because we can!” advancement mentality.

Steadfast & True robot love by leuckitBut is every innovation a real advancement? Does tech meet real needs, or does it only expose that we hunger for something that cannot be manufactured or produced with ones and zeros?

A case in point is Invisible Boyfriend (and sister site, Invisible Girlfriend). Make no mistake; the idea behind such services is not to provide human companionship, but to help the client lie to well-meaning family & friends by offering “proof” of a non-existent relationship partner. You know, to get mom off your back about being single. For a monthly fee, the platforms promise “virtual and real-world social proof” of your invisible “relationship” via texts, voicemails, and even snailmail. Mark Wilson gave it a try and found the experience, well, I’ll say a bit clumsy:

Syntax problems. Lazy wikipediaing. Look, I knew my invisible girlfriend was fake, but I began picturing what must be going on here—thousands of people typing out text messages, many pretending to be another gender, in a strange symphony of digital escorts.

Wilson’s description of his experience isn’t far off the technical reality, as he explains:

[I] learn that Invisible Boyfriend relies a bit on the artificial intelligence of chat bots, but most requests are handled another way: The St. Louis startup has teamed up with a fellow St. Louis company named Crowdsource, which manages a frontend interface to Amazon’s mechanical turk. That means Invisible Boyfriend sends your texts to a sea of micro laborers, who pick up all sorts tiny tasks during the day. They see very basic information about the character they play and text you back.

Again, in defense of Invisible Boyfriend & Invisible Girlfriend, co-founder Matthew Homann has clearly stated, “We’re not trying to help you believe you’re in a relationship. We’re trying to provide that proof [to others].” And, in fact, the sites themselves address the issue of “love” in the FAQs:

My Invisible Boyfriend… will I love him?

Seems a bit far-fetched, and a sit down between you and Jerry Springer may not be out of the question.

But nevertheless, the issue of technology ~ even that designed to meet a human “need” (I use quotes because I still don’t get the need to lie about being happily single) ~ has some issues. Not just the clumsiness of new technology, but the reality of being able to meet the human desire for connection. More from Wilson’s article:

Homann says that some early beta testers can get quite attached to their invisible partners. He describes one woman who has had an invisible boyfriend for a month and a half now. She flirts with him, but she tells him secrets, too. She’ll even ask him questions, like Siri, about movies playing in the neighborhood. (Homann says that’s an off-label use, but there’s no reason a mechanical turk can’t Google something for you.)

…”Even though I know how it works, behind the curtain, when I get a text message, I feel compelled to respond,” [Homann] says. “Technology has compelled us to respond even when it’s not necessary.”

These comments evoke visions of the film Her, in which—minor spoiler—humanity is overcome by the virtual companionship of conversational software. Right now there are limiters in place. The mechanical turk makes a lousy companion. And you can’t sext—guidelines prohibit the turk from responding to explicit content.

Which prompts the question: Should Invisible Boyfriend be thinking beyond the novelty factor? Could you fall in love with an Invisible Boyfriend? Or, could you at least sext with him? “If the marketplace wants to demand something, we certainly have the capability to deliver it,” Homann says. “We can train a workforce comfortable with adult-themed content, but it’s not something we’re trying to do now.”

While Homann likely ponders the quest for money from all sides (including both the large sums to be made from adult entertainment as well as the negative aspects of getting funding with an “adult” label), Wilson nearly hits the nail on the head:

Telephone based for-hire companionship—be it sexual or conversational—certainly isn’t a new idea. Invisible Boyfriend’s $25/100 text message premise isn’t so far from the pay-per-minute 1-900 psychics and phone sex lines of yesteryear. The business model might be similar, but the social experience is admittedly different. Those were 1:1 conversations with real people.

Yes, the one-on-one is the vital part. It’s the real human connection that matters here; even when naughty bits aren’t touching, we want to know we are in touch with another person. This is something many phone sex operators know well. And not just those of “yesteryear”, but those who thrive today, many of whom have expanded their phone sex to be true digital courtesans.

This desire to connect, human to human, isn’t limited to body parts only. Not even when we just want to get off. And the tech world, its columnists included, would be wise to realize it.

PS Also, please stop bashing everything that’s “old” or from “yesteryear”; doggy-style & missionary have been around forever and they still fuckin’ work.

Image Credits: Romantic robots, Steadfast & True by Leuckit.

ancient rome doggy style sex