Is That Supposed To Be A Compliment?

bbw femdom fiona foremost psoAnd, as long as we are talking about body image

It takes more than ignoring standards, blaming anyone who exemplifies them, demonizing those who do not.

Stop seeing differences ~ in a critical fashion.

Stop seeing problems; instead celebrate the beauty of uniqueness. One person’s “fault” is another’s turn on or fetish.

Stop the negative comparisons.

And stop the backhanded compliments.

Here’s a lesson about compliments from @jaythenerdkid:

don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women

that’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to

Those sorts of compliments are the backhanded kind ~ only in this case, it smacks some other women. And it’s still not cool.

Femdom Fiona Foremost also has this advice for women who do this too:

I honestly don’t know how many times I say this (at least the don’t-insult-other-women part). What astounds me and makes me sad is the number of women who also engage in this behavior. If you think someone is amazing, tell them they’re amazing! You don’t have to tell them they are better then so-and-so to make them feel good – at least, you shouldn’t have to.

You’d do well to remember all of this in your self-talk. It’s easy if you just stop comparing people ~ including ceasing comparing yourself to others.

Image Credits: The lovely Fiona Foremost.

Hot Flash Fiction Friday: The Babysitter Game

darling-crossdresser-deliaYou’re talking to the babysitter, again. She’s half your age and she giggles at everything you say. She blushes as if she’s been doing something she shouldn’t have done.

Silly girl. She gets flustered by your attention. She flips her hair and stands just a bit sideways so you notice her boobs.

You call the taxi for her so she can get safely home to her parents and her homework.

Once she’s gone I close the front door, turn around and…

Now you’re wearing the pretty babysitter dress with matching panties. You like to show them off and we play the babysitter game again.

Image Credits: DeliaCD.

When Porn Stars Have To Teach You About Body Image

Porn stars are often criticized for, well, just about everything. In this case, we’re talking about how they (like nearly every mainstream model, actress, or celebrity) are blamed for perpetuating unrealistic body images and creating unobtainable standards of beauty. However (just like all their mainstream counterparts), porn stars, strippers, cam girls, nude models, sex workers, and other adult entertainers are also often criticized for how they look, for not being beautiful enough. Come to think of it, pretty much every woman experiences this in one way or another; the spotlight just makes the complaints louder.

Enter God’s Girl Sinclaire Sterling. She received a stupid remark about her appearance from “anonymous” at her Tumblr blog. “Saggy tits. Who would spend money on that lol,” said the fool. But Sinclaire Sterling handled it in the most fantastic, phantabulous, way. She responded with this:

Sinclaire Sterling response

What? My boobs are great.

Sinclaire Sterling lifts shirt

Sinclaire Sterling removes bra

See? Perfectly fine.

Sinclaire Sterling addresses breasts

I mean, yeah, they jiggle and wobble and don’t sit high up on my chest. But that’s normal.

Like what do you think I should do about it? I mean

Sinclaire Sterling beauty body image advice

Nah.

My boobs just do normal boob things. They’re A-okay normal healthy boobs.

Moral: Boobs are really diverse. Do your boobs sag? Normal. Do they have hair? Normal. Do they have stretch marks? Normal. Do you get pimples on them? Normal. Are they different sizes? Normal. Big nipples? Normal. Puffy dark areola? Normal. Not facing dead ahead? Normal. Small? Normal. Big? Normal. Normal Normal Normal.

And they’re your boobs. If you can change any of those things and you want to, go ahead!

But don’t let people tell you that your breasts are wrong just because they’re affected by gravity.

You’re fine. They’re fine.

*Standing Ovation*

You can keep up with Sterling on Twitter.

What’s It Like To Be A CamGirl? (Part Three Of The Exclusive Kaylee Pond Interview)

Ever since we’ve met the fabulous Kaylee Pond, we’ve been talking about the fun and games on camera. But, even if some folks who think being a webcam girl brings “easy money”, there’s plenty of work involved in being a cam girl. A lot of it behind the scenes. Heck, I bet that even some of Kaylee’s hugest fans may not know all the work she does!

Since Kaylee has been an erotic webcam performance artist for two years (she just celebrated her “cammiversary” September 1st!), and is a very successful one at that, I thought she would be an excellent choice to discuss the real work involved in camming. (Plus, it gave me a chance to talk to my girlie crush a bit longer lol)

Kaylee, let’s talk about the work…

How long is a typical webcam show? How much planning goes into a typical cam session performance? Does it take more time to plan than to perform?

My shows are usually 4 hours long; that is pretty consistent!

Link cosplay by webcam model kaylee pondI plan out a schedule of shows at the start of each month, making a calendar that lets everyone know what activities we’ll be doing each day! Sometimes I leave a few days as a surprise and sometimes things change, but in general the shows are all planned in one day.

I have lots of shows that are kind of classics among camgirls as well as many that I’ve come up with on my own. I try to spread things out so that there’s a nice mix of laid-back shows, active shows, sexy shows, art shows, etc. There are some huge favorites that I and my room adore and so I always make sure to do them at least once a month. I LOVE when I get to add completely new shows and ideas. Scheduling the calendar helps me immensely as it’s usually much easier to plan all at once rather than wondering each day what I should do.

sexy busty kaylee pond on camI usually do spend MOST of my day doing things related to camming, but I have the luxury of mixing them in with other things like watching awesome shows or movies while editing videos, answering emails, making costumes & props, etc. I’m sorry the answer is so wibbly-wobbly, but it can be hard to say…

Some days, the show is one that doesn’t take a ton of prep and those days I usually start getting ready an hour before the show and take about 30 minutes after the show to clean up and take care of after-show things (in addition to the regular work stuff I do during the day, addressed more in the next question). That’s a really easy show day.

wild cat kaylee pond body paint on camOn the other hand, there re costume days.

Costumes days, or days I’m introducing a more complicated show, I might be getting ready for many days in advance and will wake up the day of the show to instantly begin getting ready. That day I will work in a focused way from the moment I get up — until an hour or two after I log off!

How much of your time is spent marketing your web cam business?

That’s a tough question mainly because marketing and just working on camming things are mixed up and interspersed throughout my entire day, pretty much every day. (Though I do try to pull back a bit on my days off so that I can give more time and attention to my family and friends). I suppose when the “product” you are selling is yourself, most things you do can be part of your work.

When I wake up, I check Twitter, my email, and my MyFreeCams (MFC) email and answer everything that I can at that time. I try to tweet about what I’m doing throughout the day, respond to comments, and update my fan club blog with pictures usually every day (and sometimes my regular blog too). If I do something interesting I try to take a picture or tweet about it, so marketing is kind of something that is constantly being thought of. For example, I just took a shower and also brought my camera to take pictures because I thought my fan club would like them!

kaylee pond bath

I often have videos and photosets to edit and updates to make to the graphics on my MFC profile, so when I have projects like that going on I can sometimes spend half the day working on that. I’m not sure what length of time marketing might take but it does permeate a great deal of my life. It’s a never ending cycle of tweeting, blogging, reading email, responding to messages on all platforms and then doing it all again once I’m done. I feel it’s all very worth it and fortunately I enjoy it a lot!

Do you have any other sites you perform at?

I perform mainly on MFC — I’m online there 5 days a week! I do occasionally work on a site called Streamate and have a store on Clips4Sale which is a place just for selling videos. I sell most of the regular videos I make for MFC there, but a lot of what’s available are clips of awesome fetishy things, like me wiggling my toes, lighting matches, or doing jumping jacks.

Being a sex worker can be isolating… Do your family & friends know? Do you have a support system to talk about your work with?

Yes, my friends and family know! I’m very proud of my job and I also am very happy getting to be open and honest with the people that I love.

kaylee pond on cam as unikittyI’m really pretty open with most people! For friends and people that I meet, I usually say that I’m a performance artist/webcam show host on the internet! If the people seem cool, I’ll usually use the word “camgirl” too; sometimes they need an explanation of what that is and sometimes they don’t. Most are really incredibly curious about it and find it really interesting, so that’s usually really fun! I love talking about my job so it’s always awesome to have an opportunity to chat about it and I must admit I also enjoy knowing that I might spread some new ideas about sex work out into the world.

Yet, it’s really pretty easy to adjust the story and make it more vanilla if it feels inappropriate (landlord, neighbor, person in grocery store, random person at a family party, etc). There are so many things I do that really are vanilla so it’s cool because I still get to talk about a lot of the things I love about my job. Sometimes there are just people I don’t feel like doing the whole explanation with so I tend to leave the naughty bits out to keep it more simple.

Poison Ivy cosplay by Kaylee PondMy husband is incredibly supportive, I would say that he is my main support system and I feel so lucky to have him! I always talk about work with him and he knows the ins and outs and what sort of things are going on, so it’s really wonderful to get to vent or gush with him when I need to, in addition to prattling on about random work stuff.

I am also incredibly active on an absolutely AMAZING and incredible forum, AmberCutie’sForum (ACF), which was created and run by one of my favorite MFC models, AmberCutie. It’s an awesome place for camgirls and camsite members, too. We talk about everything there and it’s a great place for info and advice, information about camming, tech stuff and all sorts of things like that but it’s also just a spectacular place for camaraderie and support.

camgirl Kaylee Pond Poison Ivy cosplayWe play forum games, talk about things going on in the world, and all kinds of random topics, too. Lots of camgirls aren’t very open about what they do and just getting to be yourself somewhere is SO valuable. Even when you’re “out” a lot of people can’t necessarily relate to the general “work stuff” of a camgirl so getting to just be open someplace is very important. I can’t imagine how different my camming life would be without ACF, I am so grateful for it and the amazing people there.

Is the money you make camming your sole or main source of income, or do you have a “day job” that pays the bills?

Camming is my full-time job!

curvy camgirl kaylee pondWhen I started (with a very intense amount of planning, I might add), I already was working at another job but disliked it very much.

Mr. Pond and I agreed that if I could come with enough money in a savings account for 3 months worth of what I would make at my regular job, I could quit and cam full time with the help of some sort of safety net if things went terribly wrong. I was working 7 days a week for a while there and camming after a shift at work for several of those days, so it was pretty rough at first, but I adored it and within 2 months was able to quit my regular job and put my full effort into camming, which was a dream come true.

Yes, being a successful webcam performer involves a lot more than just sitting in a room with a webcam pointed at you. Even if you don’t go “on location” *wink* And, yes, there’s still more of Kaylee yet to come! Stay tuned! (Likely to be posted on next Monday or Tuesday.) Meanwhile, go watch her on cam ~ and let her know that Gracie and Sex Kitten sent ya!

Girl Scout Cosplay Kaylee Pond PhotosetGirl Scout Kaylee Pond cosplay

The Earliest Webcam Equipment?

A vintage (1968) advertisement from Western Electric for the “Picturephone” ~ and you just know this was used for erotic fun. All communication and entertainment technology has been used for sex.

vintage telephone camera ad

Western Electric is crossing a telephone with a TV set.

What you’ll use is called, simply enough, a Picturephone set. Someday it will let you see who you are talking to, and let them see you.

The Picturephone set is just one of the communications of the future Western Electric is working on with Bell Telephone Laboratories. Western Electric builds regular phones and equipment for your Bell telephone company. But we also build for the future.

Image from The Golden Age of Advertising: The 60s; via.

Webcam Cosplay, Fun & Games With Kaylee Pond (Exclusive Interview Part Two!)

You’ve been waiting for it ~ part two of my talk with camgirl Kaylee Pond!

In this episode (because there’s still more to come!), I expose my webcam ignorance. In my defense, up until very recently I had no idea there was so much more to webcamming than stripping, masturbating, and the like. But with clever cam girls like Kaylee, there’s cosplay, games, balloon animal making, and so much fun I can hardly stand it!  (There are many reasons I’ve got a crush on Kaylee!) It really can be performance art. But let’s have Kaylee provide the show and tell…

princess leia cosplay as darth vader kaylee pondKaylee, the photos I see, the little tales you tell about your cam sessions, they all seem to be enjoyed by you. Do you select the themes? Do your fans? Do you have personal favorites?

I absolutely LOVE the shows that I do! One of the most fascinating things about camming is that each camgirl really needs to make up the plan for themselves. There are things that seem to be common throughout the industry (things like Pictionary, Battlestrip, Oil Shows, etc. which are generally understood to be sort of normal and lots of people do them) but I think that it’s always important to be original as much as possible.

I come up with most of my shows, some modified versions or spin-offs of things I’ve seen, but there are also many that just popped into my head. I do really like to listen to my fans though, and if there’s something they like a lot I try to do it more. But if there’s something that seems kind of “meh” I phase it out. I do let my top tipper select one show of their choice for the next month, but other than that I make up the schedule each month detailing what my shows will be!

I do costume/theme shows every Thursday and I must say it is just THE BEST! I absolutely adore dressing up and it’s even better if there’s a character that I can play with a little. Immersing myself and my viewers into a theme is really lots of fun and so exciting.

Misty Cosplay Kaylee Pond

topless Kaylee Pond Misty Cosplay

Another huge favorite of mine is body art shows — I love seeing how things turn out by the end of the night! Sometimes each thing I draw is by request. Sometimes I paint one big “costume” that I’m prepared for in advance.

kaylee pond star trek body paint

But either way the whole experience of creating something in a moment in time is really special and exciting.

nude body paint webcam session with kaylee pond

One of the neat things though, is that even with all kinds of planning or prep work, any completely random night COULD be absolutely over the top magical. You just never know when things are going to go above and beyond and blow you away, it’s part of the magic of being a camgirl.

camgirl kaylee pond balloon animal showKaylee, I have no idea what Pictionary & Battlestrip are…

I guess I have been missing out on a lot of things! In your opinion, from the customer or client perspective, is it the creativity and the ability to cater to smaller niche fetishes combined with the personalized experience that makes cam shows so popular?

Haha whoops, I was just trying to think of things I feel like I’ve seen or heard about other models doing a lot. Many cam show games are often party games so Battlestrip is just the board game Battlestrip but with getting naked and prizes as a “penalty” for having your ship hit. Pictionary, Hang Man, Charades, all the cheesy games you might play at a children’s birthday party, translate really well to camming and are lots of fun, but not all models play lots of games!

webcam girl kaylee pond making balloon animalsI think that the absolute largest draws to cam shows is the personal interaction. I can say “Hello” to you, ask about your day, and we can enjoy jokes together. Whether you’re watching porn or fantasizing about the pretty girl at work, or just want a friend, I think people often wish they could connect more easily to others. As a camgirl I am online and available to hang out, ready to connect!

If you want my top off, you can have that! If you want me to cross my eyes and stick out my tongue, I can do that too! I can dress up like your favorite Doctor Who Companion and moan for the Doctor. I can be all kinds of things and fulfill all sorts of fantasies. I think that what cam sites can become, and what it has become for me and many who visit me, is an awesome, friendly, social club where we sometimes have orgasms.

webcam girl kaylee pond balloon animalsWe have a tight knit group of friends who have come together and spend their evenings hanging out, chatting about all manner of things, playing fun games, and enjoying one anothers’ company.

It’s pretty amazing, really! I feel very lucky to get to take part in such an amazing community and I like to think that the others do too! I do absolutely agree that the ability to be creative is hugely important and is part of what makes camming special in addition to being able to tailor a show completely to a person or group of people!

balloon animal burst on cam kaylee pondI know that you are married; which came first, the marriage or the webcam stuff?

My marriage came first! My husband is a huge source of support for me and he is actually the one who encouraged me to start camming. He found out about camming and I think he realized that it could really be perfect for me, and he was so right! Camming really hits on most of my strengths and interests and I feel very lucky that he discovered it and shared it with me. I love my job and I’m very grateful to him for encouraging and supporting me. I appreciate that this might not work for a lot of couples but it’s really great for us!

Do you cosplay in real life (at conventions etc.) ~ does your husband?

We both love costumes so much and we dress up more frequently than most people, I would imagine! We’ve gone to many dress-up events, some more official than others, though sadly full-on conventions are often just too expensive for us. We definitely dream of getting to go to San Diego Comic Con and hopefully we’ll get there someday.

kaylee pond tardis dr who cosplay

I would say that I probably dress up a bit more than he does, but it’s certainly something that we both have in common. I’ve been dressing up my entire life and often refused to wear “normal” clothes as a child. I’ll often nudge my friends into wearing costumes and used to throw monthly themed parties in order to have excuses to wear them! I feel fortunate that I can bring my love of costumes into my work and of course camming gives me way more opportunities for costumes!

As I said, Ms. Kaylee and I talked for quite some time, so there’s plenty more to come! Check back on Tuesday for more dishing with the delectable Kaylee Pond! Meanwhile, go see Kaylee on cam!

tron glowing body painting with camgirl kaylee pond