Fucking Cantaloupes & Ageist Male Sex Toys

When I spotted the sex cantaloupe I was intrigued…

Are the multiple holes so that groups of boys can share one masturbator? Like a gang-bang sex toy?

I had to find out more.

So I used TinEye to find out where this product was sold. (Not as easy as I would have liked, but given this sex toy’s location and name of “Wet suction cup Setsugetsuka”, I never would have found it otherwise ~ thanks, Silent Porn Star, for the tip!)

But once I found it, my feelings of intrigue quickly changed to ire.

Here’s the English product description:

Large-sized Masturbator with a strange body which is likely to come out even in monster RPG.

There are vagina of Teenager, the twenties, and the thirties in one body, plus an anal hole is in the center section.

It is the description of a product of the surprise which has a total of four holes and makes all stimulation experience at once.

Any hole is a non-dimension type.

It is accurately made from the user viewpoint in the hole of a respectively different concept.

Because the hole of four types can be enjoyed by this one piece, even though it seems to be profitable, if it thinks calmly, it is almost the same as the total amount which purchased four masturbators.

Even though different usage from till now can be done or it can be said to be the only one product which fills a maniac disposition person, because four holes are collected,

It may be important for these goods before being pleasant, how to handle these goods well.

There are odd translation issues, such as “if it thinks calmly” ~ as if Gollum wrote this, My Precious! But I think we all can agree that the descriptive review of the multiple holes clarifies this masturbating sex toy for men: there are three different pussy slots to represent three different ages of women and one apparently ageless asshole.

The numbers on the product images confirm this.

Yeah, the idea of a specifically designated “Teenager” hole is incredibly disturbing. Especially since the next age or stage is “the twenties”; I doubt they created a sex toy pussy hole for two legal years.

International legal issues (coughing the word “pedophile” here) and cultural differences aside, I now continue on to the general principal of a male masturbation toy based on the ages of a woman’s vagina. In other words, the rant really begins now.

The entire purpose of this toy is to give men the option to select their hole based on age ~ and the presumptions therein that a younger “teen” pussy is tighter than that of a 20-something. (A 20-something with some sort of warts?) That the pussy of a 20-something is snugger than that of a 30-something. (A 30-something with some sort of texturized stripes in her pussy?)  And that pussies older than that are just too loose to even consider fucking.

This sex toy is ageist.

I get that men want a tight fit ~ real pussies and plastic ones (there’s nothing stating what this toy is made from). “Tight” is probably even more important with a masturbator because you’re missing all the good stuff with a partner, even if it is a realistic masturbator. But is age really the best way to sell this toy?

If the whole point is that this sex toy for men offers the “user viewpoint in the hole of a respectively different concept,” why not use Tight, Tighter, and Tightest? That’s more accurate than ages. (Yes, there are sad biological facts of aging, but Kegels, health, sexual experience all have roles to play in pussy snugness too, you know.)

A huge part of masturbation is erotic fantasy. I accept that as fact. But this is just beyond creepy. Don’t tell me this age labeling of pussy holes is all about “keeping the fantasy alive” ~ the dude is fucking some round thing with three slit-holes, a round anus, and no other human features. A cantaloupe. With holes already in it. How’d they get there? Who knows; let’s fuck it! At least that’s what I think “fills a maniac disposition person, because four holes are collected” means.

But what do I know? I’m just an old & un-fuckable 46 year old woman *snort* I don’t even know what a “non-dimension type” hole is.

…I’m betting I don’t have one.

At least not anymore.

But according to the one-age-fits-all anus, I’m guessing my asshole is ageless. No matter now many times I’ve taken it up the ass. Or what I’ve put in there.

Whatever.

You don’t see women buying or even making sex toys based on age.  We certainly wouldn’t want a “teen” dildo, or a 20-something vibe. Even those of us with daddy complexes don’t want sex toys with old man balls. No, we’re not going to make sex toys for women based on ages of men. Not only because it would lead to the “Eeeiiiwww” inciting conversations about at just what age does male junk start to get too wrinkly, but no woman wants a sex toy that is a selfish lover, fumbles around ineptly, or ~ heaven forbid! ~ prematurely ejaculates. We want it big and hard, ready to go when we are. And built to last. We’ll leave any personal characteristics to our imaginations. And we may change those details, such as age, frequently. Who knows?

So, yeah, women are not going to be ageist about our sex toys. I don’t think men should do it either.

And if you are gonna be sexist, ageist pigs, don’t call one hole the “teenage” hole. It’s completely wrong.

The Wet suction cup Setsugetsuka: “It may be important for these goods before being pleasant, how to handle these goods well.”

Cost: $142.78 (US dollars)
And like a billion more creepy points.

UPDATE! While this funky sex toy is listed as discontinued in many places, it can still be purchased here — under the name Wet Sucker Setsugekka Orgy Onahole ~ the “3 girl foursome masturbator.”

3 thoughts on “Fucking Cantaloupes & Ageist Male Sex Toys

  1. Wow, that thing is so disturbing! I wouldn’t be in a hurry to buy a vibrator modeled after a man who’s 50+. But I think the key here is not to label. Yes, most vibrators might seek to replicate 20 year old penises, but on that thing you profiled, the labels are what makes it so repulsive. (I can’t even bring myself to call it a “toy”. Ugh!)

  2. Pingback: Sci-Fi Fantasy Fuck Toy

  3. Pingback: Onaholes: The More The Merrier? | Sex~Kitten.net

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *