Are Men As Sexually Fluid As Women? Don’t Hold Your Breath

This article, Why Should Fluid Sexuality Be Women-Only?, discusses such things as “biphobia” and suggests that men might have the same capacity for gender-fluidity that women have ~ only culture keeps men from going with it.

“Women have a greater capacity for gender-fluid sexual expression than men do,” [researcher Meredith ] Chivers told Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon. Indeed, men’s physical responses track much more closely with what they report their sexual identity to be. Straight men are turned on by women and not men; gay men are turned on by men and not women. While there will always be those who argue that this is because of biological differences, there are strong cultural factors at play. Probably thanks to “lesbian until graduation” stereotypes and “I Kissed a Girl”-style odes to superficial experimentation, we’re more comfortable with women whose sexuality is harder to define. “Acceptance of bisexual women hinges in part on straight men’s fetishization of it,” says a friend of mine who has dated both men and women. “My male friends were endlessly curious about the dirty details of my same-sex relationship.” In a Pew Research Center survey of LGBT Americans this summer, 33 percent said there was “a lot of social acceptance” of bisexual women; only 8 percent said the same of bisexual men.

On one had I agree. …But then I think of so many other cultural norms men blow right past, like rape and abuse. And if you want to argue that rape culture is part of our Western culture, which it is, then I’ll talk about the cultural standard of monogamy which many men ignore. Or pornography use. Men don’t seem to worry about what society thinks then; they just go with their “natural urges.”

And then I think, “Shit, why can’t women’s gift of sexual fluidity just be their own. Why do men have to ‘have’ this too?” Because damn, time and study again and again points to women’s sexual fluidity across cultures. And, generally speaking, men tend to be more narrow in their focus, more linear thinking when compared to women. This tends to make men more “either or” oriented in their thinking, making fluidity and bisexuality more complicated. It makes most men squirm and shout, “Just pick a side already!”

If there is a double standard preventing men from being as sexually fluid as women, it has more to do with the misogyny involved, i.e. there’s nothing lower than a woman. So doing “womanly things”, like cock-sucking, is Bad with a capital B.

erotic nude blue fairyHowever, just because the world would be a better place with everyone being cool with fluid sexuality, doesn’t mean everyone is.

Perhaps men are less fluid in their sexuality because the male drive to nail everything, the biological imperative, is strong enough that adding more options to the mix would literally make them hump themselves to death.

In any case, I don’t think we should hold our breath while waiting for the general male population to join the more sexually fluid and enlightened women of the world.

Image of the erotic blue nude fairy via Erotic Fandom.

2 thoughts on “Are Men As Sexually Fluid As Women? Don’t Hold Your Breath

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  2. Pingback: Studying The Unicorns: Hypersexual Women | Sex~Kitten.net

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