As a former sex worker, I know many fantasies seem problematic. We’ve covered the some of the fetishes & fantasies before, such as BDSM and rape fantasies. But we’ve certainly not covered them all. So I thought we’d take a look as some more of these in a little series. Today, we begin looking at a sub-set of fantasies that seem racist: The male lust for Asian women.
Like most sexual fantasies, sometimes the subject of the fantasy is all about the subjective ideas of “beauty” in the eye of the fantasy holder. In other words, men might search for porn using the words Asian woman sex simply because they find physical attributes typically associated with being Asian attractive and arousing. No, I’m not saying “all Orientals look the same”, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with finding tan skin, dark hair, and shorter yet slimmer builds attractive than it is to like busty blonde white women.
But when men move past such ideas of “beauty” into fantasies of “Asian culture” they start to head into bad, racist territory, primarily, because there is no one Asian culture. Koren culture is different from Japanese culture, Chinese culture is different from Indian culture, and so on. It is simply a fact that there is little unity or even common history for many of the peoples of Asia, so there is no “Asian culture”.
And even when fantasies are more specific, such as lusting after a Japanese geisha girl, it is often based on stereotypes or myths. Like the famous “Asian women are sweet, innocent and submissive” fantasy. Being the dominant man or central figure in fantasies about Asian women are OK. Yes, I’m saying “yellow fever” fantasies are OK. I think fantasies in our heads, in our masturbatory hands, and even played out in our beds are OK because they are fantasies and not reality. (And, heck, our sexual arousal is often based on taboos; certainly the fear of being caught for being a racist qualifies.) However, any time you move from fantasies to reality, from your mind and masturbation to the ways you select sex partners and live your life, you could be headed into trouble.
Debbie Lum has been exploring the complicated nuances of race and romance involved in “yellow fever”. In Seeking Asian Female, her feature-length directing debut, Lum documents an elderly white American man and a young Chinese woman who look for love and find marriage ~ brokered by the Internet. (In April, a companion project, an online video series and forum called They’re All So Beautiful, launches.)
The bottom line: Attraction to Asian women is fine, so long as you accept their beauty for what it is, beauty, and have no expectations of who they are as people, or treat them a certain way, based on such things. Fantasies, even stereotypical fantasies, of Asian women are fine, so long as you can ~ and do ~ separate fantasy from reality.
Image via Asian PSO Akina.