I’m not the only one annoyed or downright fed-up with the 50 Shades phenom. There may be one good thing about all this mainstream glorification of 50 Shades: The subject of BDSM is no longer in the closet. However, the book (and upcoming film) isn’t accurate in its depiction of BDSM.
Surprisingly, mainstream publication Women’s Health magazine set out to debunk 5 Major Myths About BDSM ~ and they did so with the help of professionals! Among them, our favorite sex positive, kink loving, Dr. Gloria Brame (another exclusive interview here).
Here Brame brilliantly tackles BDSM Myth #5:
Myth #5: BDSM is Dangerous
Not when done correctly. Conversations about consent and safety are the norm in the BDSM comminuty, not the exception, says Brame. In fact, that’s something that you can’t necessarily say for vanilla sex, which doesn’t always begin by outlining boundaries. “The single most unsafe sex is not BDSM but unprotected sex,” she says.
Take that fact, fear-mongering folks!
In fact, what is dangerous about BDSM is not having the facts.
Myth-information can result in inflamed cheeks ~ but not the “pleasantly spanked backsides that makes me squirm when I sit down” sort of inflamed cheeks, but rather the “so angry I’m red in the face” variety. At Autostraddle, Jennifer Hanks, self-described “queer top”, writes:
And books like 50 Shades set a dangerous precedent for would-be subs: one where hyper-femininity is demanded and safe words are for the weak. I understand why, upon reading these books, some people become adamant that D/s is just an excuse for violence against women. The relationships portrayed in these books are, without a doubt, abusive. I worry about the women who, instructed by 50 Shades, would not be able to recognize the difference between an abuser and a Dom — the women who will inevitably take their curiosity over to Fetlife.
Sexual fantasies are one thing; but get facts before you try to make them sexual realities.
Image Credits: Kink U, higher education for erotic exploration.