Onaholes: The More The Merrier?

Hey, Hannah Smothers & Cosmo, if you think that the 3fap three-hole masturbation toy for men is confusing and upsetting, well, you must have missed this Fucking Ageist Cantaloupe Sex Toy from six years ago.

While the 3fap offers three holes (mouth, vagina, & ass) the Wet Sucker Setsugekka Orgy Onahole suggests an orgy of one man with at least three different women who each will wait their turns… There are three pussy onaholes, each representing three a woman of a different age, and one, apparently ageless, asshole.

The Setsugekka predates the 3fap by six years.

See Also: What’s an onahole?

Satisfying Women Sexually May Be Complicated, But It Creates Male Superheros

Every once and awhile, sex studies align like planets to produce a clear sign. This week, it’s all about female orgasms. Hip-hip-whore-ay!

The first study to hit my news-feed was from the Indiana University, Chapman University, and Claremont Graduate University which announced that straight women have fewest orgasms. If you are a straight woman, this likely does not surprise you.

The fact that lesbian women orgasmed more often than heterosexual women indicates that many heterosexual women could experience higher rates of orgasm.

Which is a really nice way of saying that men are not always the best lovers. Again, if you are a straight woman this likely doesn’t surprise you.

The second bit I found in my news-feed may help: Apparently There are 12 Female Orgasms:

Cliteral Orgasm
Vaginal/G-Spot Orgasm
Blended Orgasm
Multiple Orgasms
Anal Orgasm
Sleep-Gasm (a.k.a ‘Snore-gasm’)
Cervical Orgasm
U-Spot Orgasm
A-Spot Orgasm
Nipple Orgasm
Core-Gasm
Expanded Sexual Response

It’s not just the use of the word “apparently” which indicates the number and variation of female orgasms is news to many ~ but the reactions to it.

Reactions from too many women and men was astonishment. Many men rather blew off the notion with snide little comments about how complicated female sexuality is. Your ignorance is showing, gents! (You can hide it in jokes, gents, but we still know your ignorance ~ and even resentment is there!) And while it would be really easy for me to dive down that rabbit hole of male ignorance, I won’t. Not so much because I am nice (You likely know better! *wink*), but because if I get caught up in such talk, heterosexual women will continue to be less satisfied in bed. And I can’t stand that idea! So, I will avoid that rabbit hole of male shame and get down to the business of making women’s holes happier.

However, it seems that male ego may just be the key here to women’s happiness!

Research suggests that women’s orgasms may function as a masculinity achievement for men. Yup, you read that right; hetrosexual men feel better about themselves when they can make women come. As clinical psychologist & sex therapist Dr. David J. Ley noted in a tweet, getting a woman to orgasm makes a man feel like a superhero.

To all the men out there who feel confused and down-right confounded on how to pleasure a woman ~ let alone in a dozen ways ~ take this apparently surprising news and turn it into a challenge. Learn how to please a woman ~ and earn that superhero cape!

It’s not just you, your ego, and your dick which will grow with pride either. You and your partner will grow closer, and the amount of sex you have will also grow. It really is a win-win.

Need some help? Some sex ed tips to help you improve your lady’s sex life? Dick Dojo has an entire video series on the subject ~ and, from now through March 12, 2017, their Bedroom Black Belt Series of ebooks are free!

The course covers everything from cock control (so you don’t experience premature ejaculation) to making the most of your mouth and hands. It’s Kung Fu for your cock ~ and sure to help you feel like a sexual superhero. But you may have to put the cape on by yourself; if you’ve earned it, she’ll be too tired to help. *wink*

Tale As Old As Time? Beauty & The Beast Buzz

Pop Sugar thought they were clever posting about a Beauty & The Beast inspired dildo. Maybe they were; I mean, why not capitalize on the new buzz surrounding Disney’s live action remake of Beauty & The Beast. Even if most of that buzz surrounds the upset over an openly gay character (Hey, at least it’s not Lumière, as a “flaming” candle.) instead of the teenage-buffalo romance:

Why let the fact that the rosebud-tipped glass dildo (which clearly stays away from anything remotely related to the fairy tale or “Belle”) has been around for quite awhile stop you either.

However, why point to the most expensive purchasing option for the toy? Not only is the Prisms Budding Rose Shaped Glass Dildo cheaper on Amazon ~ nearly half the price ~ but it ships free with Prime, and that means you’re not waiting the two weeks the other shop notes for shipping.

There are other glass rose sex toy options as well. But if the whole point was to capitalize on “the buzz,” why not go with a rose vibrator?

Warning: Choke Hazard!

Despite the lifelike appearance, ethereal beauty, and being “endowed with soul”…

This doll, with the perfectly molded internal structure of vagina, is not for children under 3 years old.

WARNING:
CHOKING HAZARD
Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

Yes, it’s the small parts which make this sex doll inappropriate for children…

The Evocative Power Of Erotica

Perhaps you’ve heard of the Peck and Call Girls, today’s courtesans, modern muses who provide virtual escort services via phone sex, chat, etc.? …You could call them “phone sex operators,” but they are really so much more than that; I know that as I’m lucky enough to know over half of these stunning, capricious creatures ~ known as much for their intellect as their masturbatory assistance. They, like any great sex workers, clearly know the key to arousing a man ~ from discerning gentlemen to silly cads alike ~ is via the largest, most powerful sex organ: the brain.

To wit, they recently posted a discussion about the esoteric attributes of erotica ~ with Robert, owner of Delta Of Venus. More than the old “erotica vs porn” debate, they pluck at the heart & lust strings of what makes erotica work… Tease, romance, unvarnished reality, nostalgia, connection, mystery…

Here’s a snippet from Robert:

To use maybe an unsexy term, good erotica is always putting in work, it’s gathering a momentum beyond just blood flow and pulse rate and dilated pupils. This work could be eliciting a memory for the viewer, or striking their imagination (sexual or otherwise) in just the right way, or launching a train of thought or feeling about beauty or desire or whatever. Plenty of erotica evokes contradictory emotions too – maybe arousal mixed with the unsettling or absurd, and part of the pleasure is holding those feelings together in tension.

“Arousal mixed with the unsettling or absurd”…. That lingers. I’m tempted to jump into the conversation myself; but I have written about this quite a bit before, including:

In Praise Of Vintage Porn (2012)

Why Do Modern Women Love Vintage Babes? (2004)

Articulating Thoughts On Porn (2004)

However, I will keep my eye on the Twitter conversations… You never know what will inspire a thought ~ or what other pretty pictures you’ll see!

A Valentine For Male Chastity

“All keyed up to ask you to be my valentine!”

Suitable to send your femdom or other keyholder; as well as for kinksters into BDSM.

Vintage valentine for sale here; via TrailerTrashGrl.

Of The Singles Sex Survey & My Fashion Preditions

The 7th annual Singles in America survey is out. Among the top findings: 34% of singles have had sex before a first date, but Millennials are 48% more likely to have sex before a first date than all other generations of singles.

Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief science adviser for Match (who funds the study), says this is because Millennials are “career focused”.

“I think they are very career oriented, so sex before the first date could be a sex interview, where they want to know if they want to spend time with this person.”

You read that right; sex before the first date could be some sort of screening process in which you try out the position(s) before you can get to the first round of actual relationship interviews.

If you think this is a more cosmopolitan “milk for free” proposition that you need to wrap your head about, just accept it as causal sex or even hook-up culture.

[If you really want to delve into this, check out Lisa Wade’s American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus, available on the 15th; a Huff-Po‘s coverage here.]

At Unicorn Booty, certified sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson makes this comment:

“It’s sort of a mixed message because on one hand people judge potential sexual partners based on social media posts, but then they also want them to put (their phones) down,” Anderson says. “It’s kind of a love-hate relationship.”

I’ll help you out, Anderson. It’s not a love-hate thing; it’s a matter of priorities and attention. Who the hell wants to be on a date with a person who is more interested in their phones?

Answer: No one.

Relationships require attention and care.

My favorite finding from the survey? A cracked or otherwise shabby cell phone is a similar to the ripped dungarees of earlier generations, showing a level of slovenly poverty that turns folks off. Ripped jeans were once a sign of lack of care ~ great grandma would wrinkle her nose at the notion of ripped jeans as a fashion statement. If you cared about yourself and who you were with when you wore them, you’d mend those! And so it is with today’s thoughts on mobile phones.

But now ripped jeans are considered sexy. We changed:

Ever since the acid-wash-80’s, when as a culture we abandoned physical labor and the look of hard work and a rugged sense of poverty was seen as anti-establishment, holes in your jeans have been cool.

So, I can’t help but wonder when the signs of tattered phones will be de rigueur with rebellion and giving a finger to The Man…

Prepare yourself for the ability to pay ~ and pay extra! ~ for shabby looking cellphones, so that we can all look like we’re too cool to care about the damages our rock n roll lifestyles do to our phones.

Of course, when we buy them so distressed, it will be strategic cracks and fractures that won’t affect the ability of the phone or gadget to work; they’ll just look like we don’t care. And that’s so sexy!

Oh, come on, we’re all so bougie and you know it.

Image Credits: Couple wearing ripped jeans; Wiberlux Philipp Plein Seventy Eight Metal Detail Destroyed Denim Jeans.

Hot For Teacher? Even Hotter For A Tit Job?

As a big-breasted girl, I know full well the power of a titty fuck. Since I can’t be everywhere, you might want to find a readily available substitute. And, since we’re speaking of “substitutes,” here’s a substitute teacher to help you with your busty naughty dreams: the Oppai Teacher, aka the Huge Boobs Teacher Deluxe Toy.

This Japanese masturbator has a pair of pleasure holes (onaholes) as well as a bountiful bosom for paizuri (titty fucking).

Unlike some other life-size (or nearly so) fuckable sex dolls, you have realistic breasts to play with.

I’m not exactly sure what makes her a “sexy teacher” ~ maybe it’s the glass test tube between her breasts… She’s a science teacher! She’ll blind you with science, baby!

But we can all get behind the idea of a teacher sex doll, right? Especially when this nearly full sized sex toy can also be used doggy style!

Made in Japan; but you can order it here and have it sent to you in the USA. Yes, it’s safe to use; 100% phthalate-free materials. Lotion is included too, so there’s nothing to stop you!

Sweet, Wet, Eroge Dreams

Love Japanese eroge? Are you a huge, hardcore fan of the Starless Nymphomaniacs Paradise, specifically? Do you love the eroge degradation and rape-fantasy play so much you dream of being house servant Sawatari? Well, then have I got some pillow covers for you!

Here’s MILF Marie Mamiya:

Seishojo Pillow Cover STARLESS NymphoManiacs - Marie Mamiya

Here’s the terrible maid, Sachie Asagiri:

starless maid Sachie Asagiri hentai

You can find more of the naughty pillow covers here.

All pillow covers are illustrated by Seishojo. They are made in Japan from high-quality 2-way, silky Tricot, measuring 500 × 1600 centimeters. NOTE: The actual product is uncensored, so you can, err, snuggle as intimately as you wish. (After all, pillow covers and pillows are the cheapest ~ and easiest to clean ~ version of sex dolls.)

bratty hentai eroge STARLESS Marisa Mamiya

What’s Japanese eroge? The word eroge itself describes what it’s all about; the word combines the two words “erotic” and “game.” So eroge is the genre of visual novel games, aka pornographic Japanese video games. You might also call them hentai games, or H-games for short, as everywhere (but in Japan) the word hentai is taken to mean adult animation.

[Technically, in Japanese, the word hentai does not refer to any media genre, but rather refers to any perverse or bizarre sexual desire or act. However, the truth of the word won’t stop anyone marketing anime or manga style pornography using the hentai label.]

There’s also an animated adult series of Starless; here you can find the whole compilation of Starless 21st Century Nymphomaniacs.

STARLESS 21st Century Nymphomaniacs hentai

Stop Spitting On That Asshole, Fucker

Not to be too anal… We do mean this post title quite literally; but since we’d never advocate for spitting on persons one might call (or wish to call) an asshole, if you’re doing that, you should stop that too.

Bill Bailey fucks Asian-American coed Yhivi in the assWe all know those porn scenes where the dude spits on the girl’s asshole before plowing into it. Or he makes the girl suck his cock, getting it all wet with drool, before he fucks her in the ass.

This is done a lot in BDSM fantasy porn, especially in spontaneous gang-bangs, public humiliation sex, etc. ~ the story being, “Who would think ahead and bring the lube?” Truthfully though, this use of spit as lube for anal sex is done in gay, lesbian, bi, queer, and all sorts of other porn, erotica, and real world sex too ~ whether the plowing is done by a cock, sex toy, or some other object. (And we shouldn’t forget about the spittle involved in masturbatory anal play too.)

man spits on man's asshole gay pornHowever, according to the results of a study recently published in the Sexually Transmitted Infections journal, using saliva for anal sex is a real risk factor for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) or sexually transmitted infections (STIs), like rectal gonorrhoea.

While this study focused on men who have sex with men (MSM), it’s important for all to note the study’s findings:

Almost half of rectal gonorrhoea cases may be eliminated if MSM stopped using partner’s saliva for anal sex.

That’s a pretty damn significant finding.

Especially as the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) reports that several STIs which were once thought to be on the verge of extinction have recently reemerged ~ and this change is thought to be partially related to an increase in STIs of the anus and rectum.

Goddess Sonyas Ebony Mistress spits in subs assWise ass-fuckers, and the smart-asses ~ err, smart owners of the asses which are drilled, know that lube is vital for anal sex.

A) Rectums do not self-lubricate.

B) The tissue inside the anus is far more delicate than regular, external skin, as our external tissue has layers of dead cells which serve as a natural protective barrier against infection.

Thus, anal sex without lubrication can result in chafing and even tearing of the rectal walls. And even the smallest micro-tears and abrasions can increase the risk of STD/STI transmission, including HIV. Which means that long after your asshole feels better, or is back to normal, you might still have health problems. As the NCBI notes, many anorectal infections go undiagnosed for so long simply because people are asymptomatic (show no symptoms).

messy_anal_spit_pornYet, many people feel that saliva is “good enough” as a lubricant for anal sex. It’s not. It is neither thick enough to really cushion (poor viscosity), nor is it long lasting enough for the “slip” to last. So it is poor protection. Plus, saliva has its own health issues.

Sure, most of us realize that we have dirty mouths. I don’t just mean dirty sex talk pouring from our lips, but the fact that our mouths are not the cleanest places. Far from it. Human mouths are warm, wet inviting places… Inviting to far more than our lovers too; our far-from-sterile mouths are inviting to bacteria. Anywhere from 500 to 1,000 different types of bacteria are living and reproducing in our mouths. However, since we French or open mouth kiss, we rarely consider how saliva transmits diseases. Butt but it does, even in anal sex.

Hence the need for specific lubes for anal sex, especially gel versions. Lubes and lubricated condoms are not just for that erotic slick-feeling, for arousal or comfort, or birth control, you know; lubrication is also for tissue protection.

tanya tate spitting into a girls ass lesbianHowever, this does not mean that those of you who have spit fetishes, humiliation needs, etc. can’t continue to hock or receive that loogie, at least every now and then. Nor should you worry about using a bit of spit to ease a warm-up finger in, or the safety of saliva when rimming.

For the study concluded spit in the rectum is not inherently bad:

Receptive rimming and fingering or penis dipping were not statistically associated with rectal gonorrhoea.

What this study shows is that it’s far healthier to use personal lubricants than to rely on spit for penetrative anal sex ~ and, technically, man-on-man penis-in-the-ass sex. However, I wouldn’t count on my gender saving my ass.

You can still use spit for a bit of foreplay and, carefully, for fetish fun too. Just count on some properly selected anal lube for the real ass-fucking fun.

And, of course, don’t forget the condoms and other safe sex practices in general when you and/or your partner(s) are not monogamous, are untested, etc. Is it better to be safe than sorry? You bet your ass it is.

Image Credits: In the order they appear… Bill Bailey & Yhivi in Anal Young’uns 4 (yes, he does spit on her asshole first in the flick!); Edji Da Silva and Tyler Wolf from Popping D.O.’s Cherry, Audtions 48 (Lucas Entertainment also makes a lube!); Goddess Sonya’s Ebony Mistress Theater at Ethnic Kink;  Alysha Rylee, Melody Jordan, & Mike Adriano in The Spit and The Speculum 2; Tanya Tate spitting into some woman’s asshole, unknown film/work via.