Thoughts on the power of the word “slut” ~ and how it so varies in our slut-shaming culture from the word “stud” as found in the ever-fabulous The Ethical Slut. (Ah, would that we sluts could have such a breathy, lusty theme song as studs do, a la The Stud!)
Joan Collins as Fontaine Khaled in The Stud.
Enjoy this ~ 5 minute clip montage of the film played to the film’s astonishing-period theme song. Breathlessly sing along, “The Stud, what’s his name, what’s his name!”
Here’s the trailer:
In For Science, Dr. Carol Wright is a brilliant researcher ~ but, as she’s in a male dominated field, her work is dismissed. Frustrated, she decides to continue her research by testing it on herself. To her surprise ~ and the delight of those with giantess fantasies ~ the side effect of her formula is rapid growth. Oh, and it also increases her sex drive too. Why not? It’s a comic sex fantasy, after all. *wink*
Mashable discovers the reality that feminists can, indeed, like rough sex:
Of the 1,500+ self-described “kinky” women Jennifer Eve Rehor studied in 2011, the majority were found to have participated in “at least one of the following activities for their own sensual or erotic pleasure: physical humiliation, deprivation, punishment (physical), breath play, obedience/training, verbal abuse/humiliation, other forced activities and service-oriented submission/domestic service.” They did so in the role of the receptive or submissive partner.
For the record, the dominant partner(s) needn’t be male in these scenarios. Nor does rough sex necessarily imply penis-vagina intercourse. Feminist women can and do experiment with power structures well beyond male-female play.
Before you dash off and read the post, we’d like to remind you that we have copiously covered this issue for ages. (Besides, isn’t more confounding that a feminist can belong to most any popular religion?!) And we even discussed rape fantasies and actual rape in our discussions. Here are some of the more recent Sex Kitten posts on the subject of feminists & BDSM:
Oh, and don’t forget our book ~ yes, actual paper! Sex-Kitten.Net Presents The BDSM Issue (2005).
Now go see the article at Mashable: Can you be a feminist and like rough sex? (Yes!)
The Telegraph has a great article on the history of the chastity belt: The odd truth about ‘locking up’ women’s genitalia.
As professor Albrecht Classen, author of The Medieval Chastity Belt: A Myth-Making Process, tells us, the story of the chastity belt begins here:
The first ever depiction of a chastity belt comes from a 1405 drawing in a work called Bellifortis. But as this book on engineering also features fart jokes, Classen believes it was included as a joke. Since then most other literary references to the belts are either allegorical or satirical.
He believes subsequent historians were so quick to believe them as fact because rumours spread due to the “perverse nature” of the idea and the fact that it was “so intimately connected with sexuality, the gender relationships, and power structures within the family.”
In other words, chastity belts were so sexual and taboo that “satirical authors and artists, political propagandists, and later collectors and curators quickly and then firmly embraced the idea that the chastity belt actually existed in the Middle Ages and was in widespread use.”
And Sarah E Bond, assistant Professor of Classics at the University of Iowa, eloquently elaborates:
The truth about chastity belts is that they are largely a fiction constructed in the Renaissance and Early Modern periods in order to conjure a more “barbaric” middle age that had come previously.
And that, my friends, is how history is often written ~ to make modern life seem more enlightened.
Yet, how easy it is to blend such mythology with misogyny. …How many so-called conservatives seem to be more than a bit unstably nostalgic for curtailing women’s rights today?
Before anyone gets any ideas that the US should provide health insurance for chastity belts for women (Hey! They wouldn’t need birth control then!), Classen also discusses the fantasy v. reality of chastity belts:
He explains that it is highly improbably men in the Middle Ages ever used chastity belts to control their wives’ chastity because it has never been documented and “would be contradicted by modern medical research…. because a woman would not even survive the consequent hygienic and health problems after several days”.
So, no, patriarchs; such plans to control women and their sexuality remain ill-advised. Not that such facts seem to stop you.
However, my kinksters, feel free to include chastity belts in your safe, sane, & consensual play. It certainly is one way to go mythically Medieval on her ass.
Last week, erotica author and phone sex operator Secondhand Rose was challenged to write a a short erotic story based on 4 words. The words were “shy boy” & “sleepy girl”.
For weeks now, Jen had been visiting Jeffers at his apartment. For weeks she had been subtly giving him signals that she was not only more than a friend, but oh-so available. To no avail. Every night she left for his apartment, she was hopeful; but every night she left his place oh-so frustrated! She knew he was shy – but come on already! What was a girl supposed to do?
Don’t worry, Jen has a plan. And from the looks of things, it works!
Features a horny scheming woman in a school girl outfit and tugs at some somnophilia fantasies too. Read the whole story here.
Jack’s Blowjob Lessons by Jack Hutson, with Tanya J, boasts of being “The Worlds #1 Blowjob Guide.” No one knows what that means, exactly; or if it’s even true. The truth is, what is most known about this book is its sexist nature.
There’s that whole “submissive female serving dominant male” tone, a derogatory tone towards sex work, and the author actually bashes feminism. Such a sexism certainly temps folks to toss the baby out with the bathwater; many reviewers have.
But I also come from a marketing background. Smarmy as it is, Jack’s clearly aiming his book at insecure women, using threats to strike fear into their hearts. For Jack tells you, no matter how much you and your man may love one another, your relationship is at risk if you can’t give him good head. Your man will leave you. Or (presumably worse?) he may seek the services of a sex worker (in the book, he calls them “professionals”; on his website, he refers to them as “street hookers”). While I do wish women were more confident in themselves and their relationships than to fall for this sort of “man capturing” or “relationship saving” sort of thing ~ or just let the loser walk ~ there, sadly, is a hungry market for this. “Sex may sell” ~ but fear motivates actual purchases.
This is why I am trying to look past the sexism and other problems, and review the book’s contents to see if there’s anything worthy here… Just because Jack’s never had the pleasure of a feminist’s fantastic bj, it doesn’t mean you & your lover should miss such things.
The book focuses primarily on proper cock sucking attitude ~ including getting him to feel like a King, why “teasing is bad”, and rather role-play-esque blowjob “styles.” Also covered are Jack’s opinionated tips on positions; instructions on how to use hands, tongue, mouth, and other parts of your body to intensify his experience; dirty talk; and how to deep throat (with tips from a “former porn star” referred to as “Tanya J”).
Basically, the book outlines and walks you through the many options of the before, during, climax, and after of a providing oral sex to a man. There are some helpful tips and advice in here. However, due to the author’s whole “woman, submit to your man” thing, the tips can get lost… Honestly, the book almost reads like sex fantasy fiction for sissies, whose fantasies often seem misogynistic.
It is unfortunate that Jack makes the mistake of bashing feminists. And it is a mistake to believe we feminists can’t love cock or the humans attached to them. Just as it’s a mistake to believe feminists can’t be sexually submissive. (I am a feminist who loves cock, men, and being submissive!) Yes, there are some practical tips in the book, especially if you are trying to deliver a submissive cock-sucking performance or elicit a good face-fucking; but it’s difficult for even this submissive to read without feeling icky.
If you think you can overlook all the sexism, or are the sexually submissive sort (in general, or just wish to role play), and believe you can glean something from the tips, note the following: The book (stated as being a 160 page ebook; the PDF copy I was sent only has 154) is a pricey $47 & only available at the author’s website ~ but before I send you there, I should warning you that it has embedded video with audio that begins as the page loads. Here’s the site.
Also it is very important to mention that Jack doesn’t know jack about sexual health. So, if you are interested in this book, be wise and advised about STDs/STIs, use of condoms, sex in public places, and other related health matters.
As with all our reviews and/or sponsored posts, neither review product, payment, nor payment in kind affects the honesty of reviews or any editorial decisions.
Are you old enough to remember the classic live-action Saturday morning Filmation Associates television shows? If so, you no doubt recall the lovely JoAnna Cameron of The Secrets Of Isis. What an icon of female power ~ and lust! Now you can, as Storybook Whorehouse says, “get this vintage comic & stay up late at night reading with a flashlight under the covers — and wanking with a Fleshlight.”
Of course, ladies lusted after Isis too… So consider this a great Halloween or cosplay idea ~ and feel free to use the sex toy of your choice. *wink*
Via Storybook Whorehouse who has lots of other Saturday Morning Cartoon Porn.
See also: The Secret of Isis: JoAnna Cameron.
In July, the CDC released another study: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing of Teenagers Aged 15–19 in the United States. Among the findings were the following highlights (as determined by moi):
In the early teen years males were more likely than females to have had sexual intercourse. But the percentage of older teenagers who had sexual intercourse was similar for female and male teenagers.
That would mean that there’s a lot of gay sex earlier on; or that males tend to exaggerate their sexual lives to live up to some idea of what it means to be male, while females tend to downplay to fit cultural standards. Yes, that’s still happening.
In 2011–2013, 44% of female teenagers and 47% of male teenagers aged 15–19 had experienced sexual intercourse; the percentage has declined significantly, by 14% for female and 22% for male teenagers, over the past 25 years.
While some credit the sex ed from physicians (which accompanies the HPV vaccine) as a sexual deterrent, others, such as myself, wonder how much honesty is going on in the reporting. Especially with media stories spreading panic about “the youth today” and their hook-ups and casual sex. Could it be, as suspected? That those cries about the sex-crazed youth of today is tantamount to talking about “kids today, with their blue jean dungarees and loud rock and roll music” ~ just something old cranky people bitch about when there are no kids on their lawns to yell at?
It might just be.
Don’t believe me or the CDC? Maybe you’ll believe journalist Rachel Hills.
In her book, The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality, Hills discusses how the supposed new sexual liberation (which one can obviously debate ~ especially if you are a woman or part of the LGBTQ community) is resulting in its own set of expectations, disappointments, and humiliations. Simply put, for Hill, the Sex Myth has changed from “we’re dirty if we have sex” to “we’re defective if we don’t do it enough or well enough.” And people are bucking under the pressures.
Despite the New York Times Book Review referencing Hills position as “a smart argument against that strain of neo- or anti-feminism that would have women rebel against objectification by objectifying ourselves,” Hills position is more about the pressures we all put upon ourselves to have fantastic, mind-blowing, swinging-from-the-chandelier sex ~ and having it often ~ because we think everyone else is, and we’re freakish if we don’t.
Turns out, most of us aren’t. The collective “we” is neither freakish, nor having “all that great sex.” No matter our gender, orientation, etc.
Hills’ research for the book consisted of talking with 200 people, most of them between the ages of 16 and 32. For three years, Hill interviewed these 200 people, a group consisting of “men, women, gay, straight, trans people, people of different ethnicities and religions”, which Hill traveled throughout the United States, Canada, Australia, and the United Kingdom to speak with. Her findings indicated that she was not alone in feeling the need to embellish her sex life in terms of both quality and quantity.
In her interview with Hills, Alice Robb sums up the findings this way:
Sexual liberation, Hills argues, hasn’t liberated us from anxieties about living up to a sexual standard. We’ve simply replaced the fear of having too many partners with the fear of having too few—and in many ways, that’s just as damaging.
Perhaps what’s more enlightening than this discovery of trading one sexual tyranny for another, are radical notions of what sexual freedom really means.
In another interview, this time at the Chicago Tribune, Hills discusses her hopes with journalist Heidi Stevens:
We need a new way of speaking about sex,” [Hills] told me. “One that appreciates the role it plays in our lives without overhyping it as the most important thing.”
Those choices might include abstaining altogether.
“A new brand of sexual freedom will incorporate the right not to do it as much as the right to do it,” Hills said. “What I’d really like to see is a world in which people aren’t shamed for liking nonconventional sex acts, for being kinky or polyamorous, for being vanilla and monogamous, for being a virgin, for having sex once and then going months or years without having it again. Basically, I’d like to see the weight attached to sex lightened so we could make the choices that are actually right for us.”
Sounds like Hills is taking a page right out of Alain de Boton’s book, How to Think More about Sex ~ a page directly from the introduction, to be precise:
Despite being one of the most private of activities, sex is nonetheless surrounded by a range of powerful socially sanctioned ideas that codify how normal people are meant to feel about and deal with the matter.
In truth, however, few of us are remotely normal sexually. We are almost all haunted by guilt and neuroses, by phobias and disruptive desires, by indifference and disgust. None of us approaches sex as we are meant to, with the cheerful, sporting, non-obsessive, constant, well-adjusted outlook that we torture ourselves by believing other people are endowed with. We are universally deviant – but only in relation to some highly distorted ideals of normality.
Typically when people talk about whether sex is “normal” or not, the focus is on the acts themselves… Fetishes, kinks, BDSM, etc. And who we do these things with (married, strangers, multiple partners, sex workers, etc). Even how we look. But it turns out, there are a lot of people worried about how often they are having sex ~ and not just in terms of “too much,” and so-called sex addictions, either. All these pressures should cease. They key to free love is to let it be free.
As Hills said:
If someone makes a joke about a certain way of life being freakish or loser-ish, we can speak up and say, “Actually, plenty of people do that and it’s fine for them.” We can all do our part to shed light on the truth and call people in instead of calling them out.